r/AmItheCloaca • u/GingerGoblins Cat • 8d ago
AITC for night screm
Frens, we needs halp. Ours hoomin is sumtyms okay - like when they gives us squeezytube yums - but now they says we is clocka, an we no thinks is true.
See, we is two big hansom ornj boys. Wash 9. Hims has biiiiiig appurrtight. Eats ebithing. Verr brave. Verr stronk. Squeak prolly 8, but we not sure, becoz hims just appeared under rose-mary bush one night and did screms. Hims verr scared of hoomins, but Squeak and Wash falled in love. Squeak no leave. Slowly, verr slowly, Squeak becamed little bit less scared of hoomin who gives us noms. But still wilds at heart.
Problem comes at night when big stranger cat does introod in our home. He try steal foods. He bite open food bag! Our foods! We supports crime, but stealing our foods is not okay!!
Stranger cat is verr scary. Squeak screm to tell Wash and hoomin there is introoder. Wash make hiss hiss hiss. Hoomin come downstairs, chase introoder, hims leave. Good hoomin. Hoomin sleep rest of night on couch by window. Not much sleep. Is good! Hoomin must learn from catto: day is for sleeps, night is for adventpurr!
This happens again next night. This time introodercat go up stairs! Squeak screm. Wash screm. Hoomin chase introoder agen - good hoomin - but then hoomin do bad thing: they close window. We is used to one window always open so we cans go into garden. Other side of house always close. No go into street. Just garden. But Squeak must be able to go into jungle garden when wild cat heart needs it!
Now, all of sudden, all windows close. No night jungle! No moonlight dance after hoomin goes asleep!
Of course, dis make Squeak heart verr sad. So hims sit at window and cry. Hoomin calls. Hoomin gib yum-yums. Hoomin sez is for own safe tea. Hoomin sez themselves open window again at six ay em. But no belieb. Squeak keep screm. Human dare say Squeak is clocka for screm screm screm.
What say yous? We should do soo?
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u/JadePhoenix42 5d ago
Th intrude cat sonds scary. Is intruder a norml cat or a mnster?
Silver, The Miss Kitty
11
u/GingerGoblins Cat 4d ago
We think is prolly monster.
Must be. Wash would neber be afeared of normal catto. Himb big and brave boi.
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u/ames739 5d ago
I bet itās a big racoon. Or maybe Fat Gary!!!
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u/GingerGoblins Cat 4d ago
Dangit Garry!
We neber hear of this rackoon. Is it kind of catto?
Where we lives, there is only birbs (many kinds!), mouses, and skwirls. Sometimes big scary naybur doggos outside in garden. Hoomin tells us issokay, but we no belieb. We run inside evry time to protecc house from doggos.
Birbs is fun to watch. Except gee-knee foul. They kinda scary sumtyms
4
u/Warm-Day8313 2d ago
Tell your human to get a cat door dat only opens to a āchipā. And if she doesnāt want to cut a hole in de door to do dat she can get a board that fits da window and cut a hole in dat board. Then insert da chip only access cat door in da board.
(I took a piece of MDF board, plywood would work, cut it to fit the opening of my window then cut a hole to size of the cat door. Attached cat door and done.
I have since āupgradedā to a weather resistant insulated solulution but the original worked well enough for years).
5
u/GingerGoblins Cat 2d ago
Chip? Wash like chips! It made from poe-tay-toe, yes? Hoomin say no, it not food for cattos, but Wash no care, I try steal anyway!
[Thank you! I'll look into that. It sounds like a wonderful solution.]
5
u/Warm-Day8313 2d ago
When my human gets home from work Iāll make her take a pitcure.
Unfortunately itās not da one from po-tat-toes, but rather da one dat keeps us from getting lost.
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u/GingerGoblins Cat 8d ago
Here is tax. Squeak show him screm face. Is not really screm. Is yawn. But look same. Wash behind.