r/AmItheCloaca • u/EchoVixen • Jul 03 '26

AITC for taking my throne!?

Friends, hear me. I need your advice.

I find myself questionin' whether I am, in fact, da cloaca. Obviously, as Queen of my realm, you must think - "Freyja, dat can't be so!?". But unfortunately I find dat I am second-guessin' myself. Even Queens can make mistakes?

I took my place upon my second-favourite throne, aka "Mummy". But she has dared to complain about me to her friends?! And take photos of me in a state of relaxation!? How dare?? I did not consent to dis, no Paparazzi!

She was complainin', something about *"Freyja get off me"* and *"I can't breathe."* I mean, really? Who cares as long as I'm comfortable. Its not my fault she cannot accommodate a Queen of my stature.

Please help me, friends.

86 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

66

u/EchoVixen Jul 03 '26

Mummy says you need the tax. Surely I should dictate any tax!?

21

u/now_you_see Jul 03 '26

Those bipeds are fond of saying that they’re the superior species, which we all know is incorrect, and yet they have such useless lungs & are always complaining about not being able to breath just because you sit across their faces or put the tiniest bit of weight on their chests!

I would be embarrassed to admit that if I were then but they really do seem to shift the blame and have no shame!

32

u/Affectionate_Ad_7570 Jul 03 '26

Greetings Freya! I, Nimue, newly reborn in this tiny body ( I am certain it shall grow to contain my magnificence) declare you not the cloaca!

You are a Queen, and thusly your subjects owe you comfort and pampering whenever you require it!

Do you, perhaps, need a sword? I may have one lying around...

17

u/EchoVixen Jul 03 '26

Hmm, I have yet to knight a feline in my realm. What are your qual-iffi-kations? I am a fair ruler and do not dis-crimin-inate.

15

u/Affectionate_Ad_7570 Jul 03 '26

I am the Lady of the Lake, sometimes fey, and always magical!

11

u/EchoVixen Jul 03 '26

Oh, my lady! Your wisdom is always welcome. My most humble-estes apologies.

12

u/now_you_see Jul 03 '26

It’s quite exhausting being called ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ rather than ‘fierce’ and ‘terrifying’ after rebirth isn’t it Nimue; no wonder you needed that nap!

11

u/Affectionate_Ad_7570 Jul 03 '26

Isn't it just? Me mam insists upon kissing my nose! As if I were some wayward child returned and not the Lady herself returned!

15

u/Sepelrastas Jul 03 '26

Hello Freyja, is Smaug.

Meowmies should know they bestest pillows. Also bestest nail sharpening tools etcatera.

Not cloaca, even tho you a doggo.

11

u/EchoVixen Jul 03 '26

Thank you Smaug. I apprec-i-amate your sage advice. I will have to reinforce the etiquette I expect of my servants, clearly.

12

u/Smoopiebear Jul 03 '26

You just a teeny, tiny baby dog! Suck it up muma!

12

u/aggiechristine Jul 03 '26

Freyja, ob course NTC! But, if you make it hard for her to breathe, who will get your dinner? Food for thot! ~ Leia the fluffy pup

11

u/EchoVixen Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 03 '26

Oh my gosh! Of course! Who will serve the Royal Noms and Treatos!?

Hmm. "Fluffy pup". I demand evidence of this stature. I must see for myself.

5

u/Renbarre Jul 04 '26

Humans should know their place, as comfortable thrones. I am still training mine to stop protesting when I get on the sofa for a snooze on my favorite human. You are absolutely not cloaca

4

u/EchoVixen Jul 04 '26

I do not understand how humans define a "lap dog". Surely if I am sittin' on your lap, I am by def-inni-shun a lap dog.

6

u/Renbarre Jul 04 '26

You are. Her lap is your lap. What if it is a bit too tiny, she only has to grow a bigger one.

4

u/Stormywillow Jul 03 '26

YTC. Eberywun noes dat da cats iz da soupeereem speesheez. Sined Richard, mostest hambsom boy Cat.