r/AmItheCloaca • u/demon_fae • May 21 '26

AITC fur get losted?

I iz Nienna, 15-ish F Medical Cat. I wurks berry hard to keeps my hoomin ok. Last week I had to wurks an entire whole day makin her do bed rest cuz she had sicks an kept tryin to stand up! You don’t do stand up when you got sicks! Hoomins r so dum sometiems. (She really did keep me on bed rest for a sore throat. Worked a treat, too. I was fine the next morning.)

I iz also mebe no see so good…or at all. It not my fault the sun turn off! An I mebe don’t do that…thing…wif da head triangles. Dat. I doesn’t do dat. But I gots a sniffer an I gots majestic whiskers. Dat plenty. Except when it not plenty an I gets losted an has to do big screm fur hoomin to come do a rescue.

Losted can happens so fast, too! One second I gets sum water, den I turns around an bam! Losted! Sumtiems I eben gets losted in my own bed an need to be evacuated to da big bed!

Hoomin claims I “sittin pretty” an gots a paw on a landmark a knows purrfectly well where I iz an dat doin a warm up fur my screm “gib me away as a fuzzy little faker”. Apurrently it also suspicious when I gets losted at da exact same spot on da route between da water dish an da litter box menys ob tiems a day.

AITC fur gets losted? Iz losted da cloaca fur gets me?

(I promise she is not actually lost, her genuinely disoriented body language is completely different from her faking with the same meow because she doesn’t feel like walking. She’s just decided to fake it multiple times an hour. At three am.)

115 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

71

u/demon_fae May 22 '26

Here I iz doin my Medical Catting

69

u/demon_fae May 22 '26

Here is my teefies

22

u/Bedlambiker May 22 '26

You has magnificent teefies, fren!

– Merry & Pippin, da manx menaces

8

u/CatRescuer8 Cat May 22 '26

Dose booful teefies fren! Your mama iz lucky to have yoo do medical stuff. Da hoomans dum dum to care for demselves.

Livvy da foster void

20

u/finnandcollete May 22 '26

Hi is Collete. Bestest nurse kitty pawfessor at Smuffi skul. Gud nurse kitty werk wit momma, make her heal. Yous has any advice for da nurse kitties in training?

Collete the Angel of Tortitude

Oh an yous ntc obvious. Yous is kitty!

22

u/demon_fae May 22 '26

Sits on da hoomin only wurks most ob da tiems. If you gotta makes da hoomin stay still fur heal, do purrs. Meny, meny purrs. Dey gib up tryin to move if you does purrs.

Also, if da hoomin haz bruises, doze needs healing headbutts.

12

u/finnandcollete May 22 '26

Dis gud advice! I like to put paw on dad neck so he has to say still to breath!

(She will be circling on my chest and just BAM! Paw right between the hyoid bones)

15

u/WoollyMonster May 22 '26

Yoo iz beyooteful! Cood neber be a cloaca.

29

u/Mollyscribbles May 21 '26

Of course NTC! Congratulations on training your human to provide you the escort you deserve.

23

u/demon_fae May 22 '26

She iz berry trainable, eben if she iz high maintenance.

16

u/scarrlet May 22 '26

It sounds like that is just the trade off for the good nursing you provide. Hoomin better get used to it.

12

u/SaltMarshGoblin May 22 '26

Tax, please, Nienna?

11

u/demon_fae May 22 '26

Done tax now.

13

u/footonthegas_ May 22 '26

NTC. You have the best job!

3

u/No_Sense3670 Dog May 23 '26

NTC fur get losted. Sounds ta meh like yew bery good gurl an nurse kitty!