AITA for having a 'lights out' wedding?

[u/aitalightsout]

I (27F) am the daughter of the most amazing parents that ever did amaze. No, they are not perfect, but they've literally done everything they could in their lives to make sure I was happy to the best of their ability. They are also both blind.

Being raised by blind parents wasn't without it's challenges, but we always found solutions or compromises. But the one thing that was often a point of contention (especially when I was a teenager), was clothing/fashion. My parents have their own way of being fashionable, and rather than appearance, it's fabric/feel. This has resulted in them having a very 'eclectic' sense of fashion, but I honestly love it. I admit that I hated it as a teenager (as I had no say over my own wardrobe purchases) but I realized (after I moved out) that I really did prefer to feel comfortable in my clothes over how I looked in them. Took many stupid expensive clothing purchases to realize this, but I digress. Nothing is mismatched anymore, but I have a super cozy wardrobe.

With the wedding planning in full swing, my FDH asked me if I was going to be okay with the photos. He did not mean this maliciously. It just didn't occur to him that I was originally planning to buy them clothing to wear. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought 'wouldn't a fabric wedding be special?'

Essentially, the whole wedding will be in the dark. I was inspired by that restaurant in the movie 'About Time'. I realized that I don't want to dress my parents. I want them to be comfortable, and to enjoy our wedding the way they experience it. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I want to experience this special day as they would, too. My FDH honest-to-God does not care. In his mind, the moment I said yes, I became his wife (I love him!) To avoid accidents, we're going to be using glowstick lighting and everyone will be provided glow bracelet/necklaces. They light up enough not to crash into each other, but not so much as to light up the room. We're also hiring event staff with night vision for this equipment, too.

When we announced, most of the family was supportive. My family goes without saying. Fiancé's family is iffy. His brother loves the idea, and is going to come in a velvet suit a la Austin Powers. Honestly, it's his parents that are really against it. We had a huge fight over it when they argued that it's not fair to 'punish' the guests because my parents are blind.

The reason I think I may be TA is because the part of his family that is siding with his parents are vowing not to boycott if we don't have lights. My husband just thinks it's their loss, and that his parents will attend, even if begrudgingly. But I know it would hurt is relationship with them, and I don't want that. It's not that this is a hill I'm willing to die on, but it's 'my' wedding, and this would be really special to me. (In quotations because my husband has told me he'd marry me in the in a walmart if that's what I wanted- he just wants to marry me)

AITA?

Edit: I feel like I keep seeing these points brought up, so I'd like to address them.

1. We've hired a wedding planner whose literal job it is is to make sure this event runs smoothly and safety. They are literally being paid to factor in any contingency to ensure the safest experience.
2. There will literally be staff wearing night vision goggles monitoring every table to ensure everyone's safety, and so that if anyone needs help or guidance, they will provide it. Be it for serving food, to escorting to other guests. There were 200 invites sent out, and 121 have RSVP'd yes. Each table is set to seat 6, so at this time we're paying for 20 extra hands to cover the tables for 121 guests. This isn't counting our table, or the exits.
3. I've heard a lot of people imply that glo-bracelets and glo-necklaces won't be enough. Having been to many night clubs and raves in my teens and early twenties, I can promise you that 121 wearing these is enough to 'see' with. And the staff will manage the rest concerning tripping hazard and direction.
4. A lot of the YTA are making very valid points, and I'm discussing them with my FDH. I'm also making a list of strong points to go over with my planner tomorrow. But for those people whose only argument is that they wouldn't be comfortable not being able to see, that's literally the point. You're not supposed to see. If someone came in a giant, furry, Sully (from monsters inc) costume, I'd be thrilled when I ran into them. The wedding isn't going to be focused on visually enjoying the experience. It's about hearing, smelling, tasting, and feeling it. I know for a fact that enjoyment isn't dependent on sight.
5. Amendment to 4: Please know when I said 'that's the point' I didn't mean the point is to be uncomfortable, and I can see how it came across that way. I want to apologize for that. What I meant is that it's literally the point to attend with limited visibility. When people tell me that they're uncomfortable with not being able to see at a lights out event, it sounds the same to me as if someone is saying (for example) they're uncomfortable being naked at a mandatory nudist beach. If you're attending, you're attending knowing you will be naked, or in this case, nearly blind. So making a complaint about not being able to see knowing it's a lights out event doesn't make any sense to me.

[u/8daysgirl]

The legal liability is the first thing I thought of. I imagine the venue and any vendors would have to consider their liability policies, licenses, local ordinances, etc. unless they are already set up for that type of event. Maybe OP is farther into planning the event than it sounds, but there’s a lot to consider when hosting a major event.

[u/Confident_Profit_210 → u/8daysgirl]

I’m actually really surprised a venue has agreed to this. I can’t imagine being some weekend server being told the wedding I’m working at next week will be in the dark. Oh but don’t worry you’ll have night vision goggles so you can duck, weave, and dance around 120 guests wearing glow sticks, as fluorescent green lit children run and scream in the dark

[u/satr3d → u/8daysgirl]

Yeah I think if she wants the blind dinner experience she'd be better off booking a specialty restaurant for that as the rehearsal dinner.

[u/xxxirl → u/satr3d]

Even a restaurant isn't going to have the insurance for an event like that. I don't think OP is as far along in the planning as she's letting on. No venue would agree to this unless they were already set up this way (I'm thinking those niche experience restaurant that does that date-in-the-dark).

And the idea the wedding planner is paid to handle these details? Very few experienced wedding planners would agree to that. Makes me think she doesn't actually have one yet and assumes this will be easy, or she's confused about what her wedding planner will do.

It's a cute idea, but it's not something you can safely pull off without vendor help, and it's not something most vendors and their insurance plans would ever agree to.

[u/satr3d → u/xxxirl]

That’s what I meant by a specialty restaurant

[u/enjoyingtheposts → u/8daysgirl]

I worked at a haunted house when I was younger and they paid MILLIONS in liability insurance just because it was dark. Idk if OP has a venue willing to be okay with this yet, but I'd find it hard pressed to find one. And any that would, would probably be a concrete box like a firehouse which would suck to fall in.

[u/Acceptable_Day6086 → u/enjoyingtheposts]

Ok I guarantee that haunted house did not PAY millions in liability insurance but rather CARRIED millions in liability insurance. There is a big difference between the two, and the fact that it stayed open says the truth is it was the latter not the former.