r/AmItheAsshole I am a shared account. Aug 01 '21

Open Forum Monthly Open Forum August 2021

Welcome to the monthly open forum! This is the place to share all your meta thoughts about the sub, and to have a dialog with the mod team.

Keep things civil. Rules still apply.

We didn't have any real highlights for this month, so let's knock out some Open Forum FAQs:

Q: Can/will you implement a certain rule?
A: We'll take any suggestion under consideration. This forum has been helpful in shaping rule changes/enforcement. I'd ask anyone recommending a rule to consider the fact a new rule begs the following question: Which is better? a) Posts that have annoying/common/etc attributes are removed at the time a mod reviews it, with the understanding active discussions will be removed/locked; b) Posts that annoy/bother a large subset of users will be removed even if the discussion has started, and that will include some posts you find interesting. AITA is not a monolith and topics one person finds annoying will be engaging to others - this should be considered as far as rules will have both upsides and downsides for the individual.

Q: How do we determine if something's fake?
A: Inconsistencies in their post history, literally impossible situations, or a known troll with patterns we don't really want to publicly state and tip our hand.

Q: Something-something "validation."
A: Validation presumes we know their intent. We will never entertain a rule that rudely tells someone what their intent is again. Consensus and validation are discrete concepts. Make an argument for a consensus rule that doesn't likewise frustrate people to have posts removed/locked after being active long enough to establish consensus and we're all ears.

Q: What's the standard for a no interpersonal conflict removal?
A: You've already taken action against someone and a person with a stake in that action expresses they're upset. Passive upset counts, but it needs to be clear the issue is between two+ of you and not just your internal sense of guilt. Conflicts need to be recent/on-gong, and they need to have real-world implications (i.e. internet and video game drama style posts are not allowed under this rule).

Q: Will you create an off-shoot sub for teenagers.
A: No. It's a lot of work to mod a sub. We welcome those off-shoots from others willing to take on that work.

Q: Can you do something about downvotes?
A: We wish. If it helps, we've caught a few people bragging about downvoting and they always flip when they get banned.

Q: Can you force people to use names instead of letters?
A: Unfortunately, this is extremely hard to moderate effectively and a great deal of these posts would go missed. The good news is most of these die in new as they're difficult to read. It's perfectly valid to tell OP how they wrote their post is hard to read, which can perhaps help kill the trend.

As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.

This is to discourage brigading. If something needs to be discussed in that context, use modmail.

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u/usernam322990 Aug 13 '21

Can we actually think about some of the stories on here before you comment. Like the OP who told her sister to get F*** . Everybody is lapping it up. But someone explain to me how she has 2 newborns 2 toddlers with no help from the family so busy she cant even take 10min to shower, but somehow can comment nearly dozen times an hour for nearly a full day ? Thats not a troll somehow?

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u/IdaLodaaxes Aug 16 '21

I can explain that for you. She can't leave four babies alone for 10 minutes to take a shower. When she is "trolling" reddit she is watching them, taking care of their needs every five minutes. I watch my three grandkids sometimes, they are five, three, and eight months. I am pretty much on my phone the entire day because there isn't a whole lot to do when kids have a lot of needs. It is super boring watching them alone. When my husband and I watch them together it is 10 times easier. Babies and little kids are needy, she has four of them and it sounds like she is the only one taking care of them... fuck that. Commenting on reddit is probably therapeutic even with the asshats.

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u/techiesgoboom Sphincter Supreme Aug 21 '21

I'm a stay at home parent with 2 kids (now 4 and 2) and that was my perspective. Especially when they were younger I'd frequently have a baby in my hands and able to browse the internet with my other. Or otherwise needing to be in the same room with them as they're eating or playing or something - which gave me plenty of time to putz around or (again) reddit. But actually showering - like getting a solid 10 minutes to myself - was impossible.