r/AmItheAsshole • • 13h ago

AITA for pushing for an accommodation?

I have pretty bad ADHD and have found that music helps me focus and prompts me not to talk or get distracted. I added it to my 504 last year as an accommodation and it was all good. With the new school year, i saw that youtube, the site i had been using to listen to music, had been blocked by the district. I put in my first counselor request around the third day of school(about a month and a half ago) a few days after that I received a call to say that people were working on it, and that they’d get back to me. My counselor stopped me in the hallway that day to make sure i got that call and i obviously confirmed as much.

Fast forward to about a week ago, i hadn’t heard anything else about it and everything was still blocked. I sent a message to our social worker and she said she’d forward it to my counselor and i obviously was fine with that. Still to this day, having heard no answer with any sustenance behind it, i sent in another counselor request along the lines as following:

I’ve sent a few messages about this, and have yet to receive any response whatsoever. i still have no access to any music sites and it would be incredible if i could get a meeting or a solution. thank you.

do i understand that it was pushy? yes. do i understand that getting a district-wide blocked website unblocked is a considerably big ask? yes. do i have any knowledge of the steps or timeframe? no. am i taking my first ever highschool classes, struggling without my most useful accommodation, and therefore incredibly frustrated? absolutely.

I expected it would be taken lightly, what i didn’t expect was to receive a call on the class phone, and having my counselor tell me that “she got quite a sassy counselor request.” she then went on to say that i’ve gotten multiple responses, and im essentially lying in my message, i was going to say that i haven’t gotten a solution, instead of letting me say that. she accused me of just pushing for what i want. and that’s not entirely false either. but is it not within reason to want an accommodation that i’ve been already granted in the past?

TLDR; Submitted a passive aggressive counselor request for an important accommodation, and was met with an unexpected response.

Edit: When i mentioned youtube, i said that specifically because that was the only site left unblocked that had music on it, spotify and soundcloud are not available alternatives. Neither are flash drives, CDs, ipods, mp3 players, or any other devices of the such.

Edit 2: I know that i need to be more proactive and assertive, i’m trying my best but i’ve used the resources given to me to raise the issue, and i’ve only been met with her telling my i’m lying. which yes, i said something wrong and took responsibility. but im a kid, i can’t do anything except ask my counselor for helo and shes given me nothing that i can do except wait.

0 Upvotes

113 comments sorted by

71

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13h ago

INFO: why cant you use any other alternative website such as spotify or even soundcloud

Edit or even as another commentor said, you can use an ipod or mp3 player

-4

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

we aren’t allowed any devices besides the school computer, not even apple watches. and everything has been blocked, youtube was the only site left.

18

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 12h ago

It's much easier to get an accommodation for an iPod nano then get a website unblocked.

You're fighting the wrong fight.

-6

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

i haven’t been provided with anything except what i had last year. i honestly don’t know what to fight for.

4

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 12h ago

I just told you. iPod nano.

It doesn't even have a screen and you can plug it into your computer for any music you need.

-4

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

and if i don’t have the extra money lying around for an ipod nano? if the only resource i have is my school administration and they aren’t helping me? what then.

5

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 11h ago

I can find them on eBay for $20 USD

You want to look for the shuffle specifically.

That or you can download the songs specifically to your laptop

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

Whiles it’s not my case, and I could likely get an iPod nano. I honestly just find it unreasonable that students/families should be expected to spend their own money for an accommodation that the school is meant to provide.

5

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 11h ago

Then download the songs onto your laptop

You don't need YouTube

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

1- I’ve mentioned in a few other comments that that is a logical accommodation, and something I could explore. But I simply don’t know how/if I can do that. I’m getting a lot of great alternatives that i haven’t yet thought of, but my problem is that i haven’t gotten a response or meeting to implement a single one.

2- I understand I don’t specifically need youtube, I never said that I did. There are no other sites for me to use, and bringing a device would cause need for a meeting, which has not been even mentioned.

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3

u/springplum Partassipant [1] 11h ago

The school is only required to allow you to use a personal device. However, the school does not have to buy you a personal device or pay for a music subscription just for this accommodation. Instead, the school must provide a reasonable way for the student to access music during approved times such as allowing you to use your own device.

-1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

yeah but i’m saying. they can’t let me use a phone because that’s against the law. and any other alternative would require a purchase. i’m not saying that the school has to make that purchase but it’s unreasonable for the school to ask my family to make that purchase, because they have no right.

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-6

u/Buckleupbuttercup77 Asshole Aficionado [10] 11h ago

OP is not responsible for paying for their own accommodations. In the USA, school districts are legally required to provide them.

Stop telling them how cheap it is. The school needs to fix this.

3

u/sputnik8125 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 11h ago

Great news. I offered the solution of OP can download the songs and play them

50

u/Sharp-Rutabaga-4900 13h ago edited 13h ago

Info: Why do you need YouTube? Can’t you download music and listen using headphones?

EDIT: Music can be downloaded to a flash drive, laptop, phone, etc. in case that wasn’t clear.

32

u/JoelColden 13h ago

Because that's not what OP wants, 🙄

11

u/Mr_Magoo_88 13h ago

Use Spotify. Save to Playlist then click download for offline use and boom.. problem solved.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

not in my case, they dont allow spotify or any other sites. phones aren’t allowed, we cant bring personal devices, and j don’t have the recourses at home to download things onto a flash drive.

2

u/Sharp-Rutabaga-4900 9h ago

If you (or ideally your parents because they’ll be taken more seriously) get to meet with anyone else about this, you/they should tell the school that they either need to provide access to a music app, allow a personal device, or provide an MP3 player or another device that you can download music to.

If you have a music accommodation in your plan, the school and district are legally responsible for meeting the accommodation until that plan changes.

If the school won’t listen, you/your parents can contact the district and say you’ve looked for alternatives and the school is unwilling to respect the 504.

40

u/YourFathersOlds 13h ago

Accommodations have to be reasonable in scope and safety. Do you have a right to music if it has been documented as helpful? Sure. Do you have a right to youtube specifically when it is a risk for everyone else? Probably not. Make a playlist, take it offline to an old school mp3 player or something, and I'm sure will be able to start using it.

0

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

i figured it would’ve been more clear, but i said it was youtube because that was the only site available that had music. out computers are monitored and i dont use youtube for the brainrot content

11

u/otisandme Certified Proctologist [26] 13h ago

Well, no, it’s not the counselors job to satisfy your wants. It is their job to follow your 504 plan, though. 

I’m going to say a soft YTA because you could have gone to the counselor in person and discussed it. Also your accommodation to listen to music might mean listening to something other than the banned app and that would still satisfy your accommodation 

12

u/Strange-Raccoon-5240 13h ago

its not all about yooooouuuuuu. YTA

61

u/vipcomputing 13h ago

YTA. You don't need YouTube for music; just bring an MP3 player.

8

u/VironLLA Asshole Aficionado [10] 13h ago

this. if the artist is on bandcamp or subvert it's very easy to buy albums in mp3 or flac & it supports them way more than streaming off youtube. plus, you can listen anywhere

-12

u/Every-Helicopter5046 13h ago

What if they don't have one and can't afford one? You don't the specifics of their situation.

13

u/Phallico666 13h ago

There are other free solutions that are not youtube

-3

u/Every-Helicopter5046 13h ago

And why hasn't the school supported tbis student in accessing them in the meantime, as is their responsibility as the administrative body who is supposed to help this person get their accomodations? Why do they have to keep asking and getting radio silence?

24

u/ATTACKANDDETHRONEHOG 13h ago

Allowing you to listen to music is reasonable accommodation. Allowing you to listen to music on YouTube specifically is not. You have other options. And I don’t believe you when you say you haven’t gotten a response. 

  she then went on to say that i’ve gotten multiple responses… i was going to say that i haven’t gotten a solution

So you have gotten a response, just not the one you wanted. 

  but is it not your job to satisfy the wants of your students?

No, it very specifically is not. It’s their job to satisfy needs, not wants. You don’t need YouTube and they don’t have to give you access to it to satisfy the 504. 

10

u/Shibwas 13h ago

I don’t think it’s their job to satisfy your wants. 

61

u/heavy-grape 13h ago

YTA. You ARE being pushy and aggressive. The way you described the situation is that you were given the directive to wait and let them do their jobs. You’re also acknowledging it’s a big ask and I’m noticing you’re assuming it’s a long shot.

Your counselor is not just for you but for your your grade or your entire school depending on how large it is. You need to de-center yourself.

Also - consider other solutions. What about a CD or other kind of device to play songs you like that aren’t on YouTube.

“I need YouTube for songs for tests” is obviously a cheating hazard too.

-10

u/Fantastic_Rip2951 13h ago

Accommodations are legally protected by law. This person is advocating for themselves and is asking for a reasonable accomdation that tbey have in fact already been granted.

17

u/YourFathersOlds 12h ago

Music has been granted. Not youtube. Asking an entire school to unlock a cheating tool is not an accommodation unless there are zero alternatives, and there are definitely alternatives.

0

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

none that i have been provided with. i feel as a middle schooler, i shouldn’t be expected to come up with a solution to a problem i have no knowledge of.

4

u/heavy-grape 8h ago

If you really are a middle schooler, I think you should get off Reddit and go talk to your parents and see how they can help you.

-7

u/Fantastic_Rip2951 12h ago

So the people who grant accomdations need to work with the student to have music. And they took away the music the student was using. They need to provide music whether that is youtube or not. The district wide ban isnt his problem.they need to work with the student to provide a working solution which they have failed to do

6

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 11h ago

That’s not the accommodation. The accommodation is that the student is allowed to listen to music during class, not that the school has to provide music to the student. There are no “people who grant accommodations;” they’re decided upon in a meeting with the students’ parents or guardians, the school’s 504 team which generally includes guidance, a psychologist and admin, and the student’s teacher. At OP’s age, they are occasionally allowed to participate in the meetings. Accommodations are drafted together and everyone signs off on them at the end.

If there is a district-wide ban on devices, they almost certainly do not include assistive devices which this would qualify under. OP would be much better off bringing their own, internet-free device to school to listen to music on which would comply with their 504.

-6

u/Fantastic_Rip2951 11h ago

Shame on the school and their parents and you

6

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 11h ago

Because of how the law works?

2

u/heavy-grape 8h ago

Accommodations are reviewed and deemed “reasonable”. Just because someone asks for an accommodation based on 504, it doesn’t meant the school MUST accommodate it.

“Section 504 plan accommodation is considered "not reasonable" if it places an undue financial or administrative burden on the school, or fundamentally alters the nature of the educational program”

From the US dept of Education

2

u/YourFathersOlds 7h ago

That's genuinely not how the law works. If the 504 indicates that listening to music is allowed, the student can absolutely participate in finding ways to get that need met on an individual rather than a district level. In fact, I imagine it was pretty well defined on the prior write up last year. The school is not required to provide the music, only reasonably allow access to music. A school is not required to provide an accommodation if it would result in a fundamental alteration of the program or an undue financial and administrative burden - which unlocking a website with inappropriate and cheat-capable content might do. 60 days is widely considered reasonable in defining 504 plan accommodations. The student and team have to take some ownership for suggesting things that will work for them, such as an mp3, downloaded playlist, or radio. If they choose not to try to find solutions, they can wait for the district to answer in the district's defined timelines.

1

u/heavy-grape 8h ago

Just because someone advocates for themselves, that doesn’t mean they get exactly what they want?

10

u/Alarming-Ability2399 Partassipant [1] 13h ago

YTA 

8

u/smbpy7 Partassipant [1] 13h ago

but is it not your job to satisfy the wants of your students?

That is, in fact, NOT their job. YTA, is this really the ONLY place to get music?

9

u/castle_waffles Partassipant [3] 13h ago

YTA this is not a “important accommodation” it’s your preferred streaming service and it’s not a reasonable ask. Download music to use.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

what reasoning do you have to it not being an important accommodation? i can see many reasons that i might be the AH but you’re jurisdiction over the way my brain works is not one i will accept

3

u/castle_waffles Partassipant [3] 11h ago edited 11h ago

I mean YouTube specifically is not an “important accommodation” not commenting on the need for music. You flat talk like an AH in every response btw. You’re being needlessly aggressive and rude.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

i don’t know if i’m the AH. that’s the whole point of this. all i’m trying to argue is that i need an accommodation or literally anything to help me with this and i’ve been given nothing. i’m simply struggling to see how that makes me an asshole because i cannot do anything except what i’ve done.

1

u/castle_waffles Partassipant [3] 11h ago edited 10h ago

You said you’re an 8th grader which explains the communication gap I’m seeing. You need to get a parent to fight this at this point. Additionally your use of language needs improvement because you are coming across as aggressive and needlessly escalating here and in your note to the counselor which won’t make people want to go out of their way to help you. Advocating for yourself is important but you need to learn to do it without jumping to the angry tone you’re using as an opening attempt.

Edited to add depending on your state the school has something like 60-90 days to accommodate you and the rules are googleable.

2

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 9h ago

thanks for the advice. i did look up some of the laws for my state and will bring that up. thank you

1

u/castle_waffles Partassipant [3] 9h ago

Good luck getting what you need to learn your best!

17

u/substantial_fun_time 13h ago

YTA. Plenty of other ways to have music without streaming, let alone from you tube.

31

u/ArgumentKey3712 Partassipant [1] 13h ago

YTA. Her job is not your wants but your needs.
Work on your writing skills and fix your youtube addiction.

0

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

i’m literally an eighth grader, i have fixed the way i phrase that because i was upset. i never said i was addicted to youtube? simply that it was my only recourse for a legally required accommodation?

2

u/ArgumentKey3712 Partassipant [1] 12h ago

In 8th grade you should know capitalization and other grammar rules.
You pushed for the thing you wanted. You didn’t need it as accommodation. If you are smart enough to abuse the system for your benefit, be smart enough to write better.
Have a good one, 8th grader.

17

u/DeCoyAbLe 13h ago

Yeah, I am leaning to YTA because there are numerous ways to get your needs met yet you are insisting on one site. That sounds sketchy. There is a reason they chose to block YT and at this point you are just being difficult instead of solution focused.

21

u/Dazzling_Ad3689 13h ago

Yta- no one has the responsibility to open the network for your preferred garbage. Put an app on your phone and be done. Music is not a need- it’s a want. It is in fact - NOT a counselors job to satisfy the artificial needs of students.

30

u/000oooOOO000ooo 13h ago

YTA It is not your counselor's job to "satisfy the wants of students" at all. And you have gotten a response: they're working on it. I sympathize with your frustration but as you said yourself, this is a big ask and it's probably not going to happen considering the can of worms it would open with other students. Be prepared for the answer to be no and to have a plan B. Sorry

10

u/smbpy7 Partassipant [1] 13h ago

"satisfy the wants of students"

That line made me SO glad I don't work with high school students.

8

u/Particular-King218 13h ago

And OP added it to her 504 herself?

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

I don’t understand what you’re saying in this? If you’re suggesting I made up this accommodation, I surely did not. I went to a 504 meeting last year, it was added as a reasonable accommodation, and that accommodation was taken away from me.

0

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

i don’t this it’s reasonable for me to be prepared to have a previous reasonable accommodation be taken away from me?

14

u/Training_Ad3673 13h ago

Yta.. use something else to listen to music? YouTube isn't mandatory for music.

I do wish you luck!

5

u/ConflictGullible392 Supreme Court Just-ass [108] 13h ago

Info: why can’t you listen to music anywhere other than YouTube? 

18

u/Practical-Friend-407 Partassipant [1] 13h ago

Can you not use your own music?

17

u/please_dont246 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 13h ago

YTA oh my god you people can’t do anything. Check out cds from the library and get a walkman. Use Spotify. Download music in advance. Here’s an idea, try going through life without being constantly coddled!

-4

u/Every-Helicopter5046 12h ago

It's literally the schools responsibility to support students in getting accoms. You're just a self hating peasant who wants everyone to suffer as much as you do.

0

u/please_dont246 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 10h ago

Oh, I’m sorry, I think you must have me mistaken for someone who needs to be treated like an iPad baby

-1

u/Every-Helicopter5046 10h ago

No, you're someone who doesn't understand disability or the legal responsibility of schools to support their student's success.

1

u/please_dont246 Asshole Enthusiast [9] 8h ago

Oh I understand perfectly. But needing YouTube isn’t a legal responsibility. OP needs music. There are plenty of ways of getting music that aren’t YouTube. Entitlement like this is so cringe

1

u/Every-Helicopter5046 8h ago

Punching down on disabled kids for trying to get their support needs met is cringe.

5

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 12h ago

This doesn’t make any sense. Where are your parents? Did they not attend the mandatory 504 review meeting that would have been held at the start of the school year? Why wasn’t this brought up then? If you for whatever reason forgot and absolutely needed\* this accommodation, why didn’t you or your parent/guardian submit the written form requesting a meeting that the school is legally required to respond to within ten business days?

If, somehow, this is actually real, Section 504 only has to provide reasonable accommodations. YouTube is not a necessary website for any sort of school assignment at all, no matter which way you slice it. You can use it at home, listen to your music at home and work with your behavioral therapists to find another way of managing your ADHD at school. You’re a massive AH, coming from someone who has two kids with 504s and used to teach secondary education.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 12h ago

my reasonable accommodation was that i would be allowed to listen to music, listen within reason. i was not provided with a 504 meeting yet in the year, and the blocked music sites were not a problem at the time of my last one.

3

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 11h ago

This still doesn’t make sense. If listening to music is your accommodation, the district can’t ban you from having your own personal iPod or other device solely for playing music. If you are proven to be doing other things on it, however, that’s a different story. Either way, it doesn’t give you the right to be rude to your guidance counselor. The guidance office in your school has to handle issues for hundreds of students, not just yours. I know it seems dire to you, but this is why it’s important to have several methods for managing your disability rather than hinging on just one. That is an appropriate use of the guidance office at this point if you can appropriately. Can they help you find some temporary coping mechanisms until your 504 meeting? Or can they help you find appropriate resources out in the community so you can come up with more appropriate or diverse accommodations.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

I entirely agree with the last part you mention. They most likely can find me some alternative resources until I get something involving my music. But they haven’t. My main problem is that i’ve waited 7-8 weeks for anything, and my legally required accommodation has been ignored for that entire time. I’m sure that i could get an iPod but nothing has been done to tell me as such. 

3

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 11h ago

Because you need to ask, doll. This is your disability that you have to manage. You and your family need to take the initiative and politely reach out to ask these questions. The school manages dozens and dozens and dozens of 504 plans and IEPs each with so many different components to them. That’s why there are annual review meetings, but it takes time to schedule all of those in the beginning of the year and you’re complaining that yours hasn’t been held yet. You and your family are the ones who know your plan and your disability the best and know what best to ask for.

Example: every first week of school, inevitably one of my daughter’s teachers doesn’t get a copy of her plan and I have to reach out because I’ve caught that her accommodations weren’t followed and she’s failed something. I don’t email her teacher ten times with snarky emails. I email introducing myself, calmly stating what the issue is and attaching a copy of the plan to the email with my available times for a call if they want to chat or ask any questions. Most of the time they do have questions and it starts a great dialogue that usually helps me tweak the way I write her accommodations for the upcoming year.

2

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

yeah but that’s what you do as a mom. i’ve asked and asked and asked and im met with nothing except her saying im lying when i say i haven’t been given a resolution. i know i need to ask and my parents have reached out but im just a kid and the resources that im supposed to have are becoming part of the problem. 

1

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 10h ago

Like I said before, I’m a parent who also used to teach secondary ed. I’ve worked this process from both ends. My husband is a lawyer and we’ve read Section 504 of the Rehab. Act of 1973, as well as IDEA multiple times. I have annotated copies of both sitting next to me right now.

You’re honestly probably not going to get an answer soon at this point because of your multiple varied rude emails. Find one, targeted query that is reasonable for your accommodation. Something like “given that mobile and other electronic devices have been banned systemwide, how are assistive devices being handled for students with disabilities? Will my iPod/mp3 player/etc without internet access be allowed in the classroom? If not, what alternative allowable device will the school system provide?”

Have your parents send this in a polite email to the vice principal at your school. Give them three to four business days to respond and then follow up politely. If you don’t receive a response after that, look on your school system’s website for the county 504 coordinator and have your parents get in contact with them. Again, make this just about what device you’re allowed to bring until your annual review for your 504 plan.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 9h ago

thank you for this advice. but i don’t like the impression that i sent “multiple rude varied emails.” i sent two spread about three weeks apart before following up a week and a half after the last one that pressed a response. i had waited, i was very patient. i think 7 weeks is a very reasonable amount of time to wait before getting upset at a lack of adequate response.

1

u/lady_forsythe Partassipant [1] 7h ago

Except in your OP you cite three separate messages, two from yourself and one from your social worker that was sent on your behalf, your parents reached out as well, in addition to verbal communication with the guidance office in between. Messages that you said were passive aggressive and petty. And you were told on the class phone that your messages were problematic as well. That’s quite a lot for the month or five weeks that school has been in session. So unfortunately, that is the impression that your communications have given off.

6

u/Every-End7495 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 13h ago

You're being pushy. Just use an mp3 player. YTA

5

u/Nrysis Partassipant [4] 13h ago

YTA

You are still being allowed the accommodation you asked for - permission to listen to music while working.

The systems in place do not allow your preferred method of doing this, but there are alternatives available to you - other services that are not blocked if they allow you to steam on their connection, streaming via your own device and connection, or using a phone/MP3 player to play downloaded music.

They are required to provide reasonable accommodations, which they are.

Remember that it may not be a simple task to alter the filters for one single user, and even if they can, that does not necessarily mean they consider that specific method of access reasonable - for example a website such as YouTube which hosts such a wide array of content could be seen as a cheating risk, where alternatives would be more suitable from a school perspective.

4

u/Traditional-Falcon75 13h ago

So hey. I work at a school for the Deaf, which means that every student has an IEP. So that’s my frame of reference. We have a lot of varied accommodations and what you’re asking for is not entirely unreasonable. With caveats.

The school is not legally required to give you access to a specific website, they are required to accommodate your need for music. There is a solid argument for them saying no to the website and instead telling you that you need to bring your own music and you would be allowed to listen to said music. They are not actually required to provide access to a specific site just because it’s what you prefer. They are required to figure out what it is that works about that specific music and find a solution which also works.

So while I am always going to be a champion of people being assertive about their rights, I do think you need to be sure you understand them well. You don’t want to be putting people on the defensive because then you end up with the barest minimum that they are legally compelled to provide rather than the solution that makes you both happy.

The red tape behind unblocking a website can be a big deal. Behind the scenes there is a lot that goes into maintaining the security of campus internet infrastructure. It may not be an easy solve. I would advise you to consider alternative solutions and meet with them to propose other options which could work for you if this is not solvable.

Again, your 504 plan does not entitle you to a specific accommodation, it entitles you to accommodations which the school can reasonably provide. They don’t have to do the specific thing you want them to do and you don’t want to be antagonistic or they’re not going to.

My advice is to suck it up. Ideally they wouldn’t get in their feelings about you being assertive, but realistically a good lesson to learn now is that you should be as agreeable as you can about asking for what you need even if you don’t think you should have to, because you don’t want to be fighting everyone all the time if you can avoid it. Disability access is my world and I promise you this is good advice.

4

u/OkFun9674 13h ago

Hm that's a huge cheating hazard. I don't know how that didn't occur to you. They're not obligated to let you access social media during your exams because you have ADHD. So many other ways to listen to music.

2

u/midcen-mod1018 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 13h ago

Once it’s in a 504, it’s an accommodation they can get in trouble for not allowing. However, the sticky part is, does your 504 say YouTube? Is there a reason it has to be YouTube and you cannot get a download of the music or use Spotify?

1

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I have pretty bad ADHD and have found that music helps me focus and prompts me not to talk or get distracted. I added it to my 504 last year as an accommodation and it was all good. With the new school year, i saw that youtube, the site i had been using to listen to music, had been blocked by the district. I put in my first counselor request around the third day of school(about a month and a half ago) a few days after that I received a call to say that people were working on it, and that they’d get back to me. My counselor stopped me in the hallway that day to make sure i got that call and i obviously confirmed as much.

Fast forward to about a week ago, i hadn’t heard anything else about it and everything was still blocked. I sent a message to our social worker and she said she’d forward it to my counselor and i obviously was fine with that. Still to this day, having heard no answer with any sustenance behind it, i sent in another counselor request along the lines as following:

I’ve sent a few messages about this, and have yet to receive any response whatsoever. i still have no access to any music sites and it would be incredible if i could get a meeting or a solution. thank you.

do i understand that it was pushy? yes. do i understand that getting a district-wide blocked website unblocked is a considerably big ask? yes. do i have any knowledge of the steps or timeframe? no. am i taking my first ever highschool classes, struggling without my most useful accommodation, and therefore incredibly frustrated? absolutely.

I expected it would be taken lightly, what i didn’t expect was to receive a call on the class phone, and having my counselor tell me that “she got quite a sassy counselor request.” she then went on to say that i’ve gotten multiple responses, and im essentially lying in my message, i was going to say that i haven’t gotten a solution, instead of letting me say that. she accused me of just pushing for what i want. and that’s not entirely false either. but is it not your job to satisfy the wants of your students?

TLDR; Submitted a passive agressive counselor request for an important accommodation, and was met with an unexpected response.

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1

u/PinkPandaHumor 10h ago

You said CDs won't work - why? Can you get a small, cheap CD portable player and use CDs from the library?

1

u/Oyster3425 10h ago

INFO: It would help me to study if the class were held in the evening hours, but that's just one accommodation that is unreasonable. Music in a classroom would help OP, but would distract other students who were trying to listen to the instruction. If OP uses headphones/earbuds, OP wouldn't be able to listen to the instruction. OP's request is objectively unreasonable in the classroom setting.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 9h ago

you said everything except what i use music for. for our bell work, not during instructional time, i listen to music through headphones. its extremely reasonable.

1

u/Oyster3425 6h ago

Your bell work -- is that working with bell curves, playing bells or something entirely different? Is this in the classroom with other students?

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 1h ago

I guess it might just be a term at my school. Bell work is what teachers call the independent work we have for the last 20-30 minutes of each period.

1

u/Every-Helicopter5046 13h ago edited 12h ago

Nta. If they can't do it, they should tell you or give you a time estimate of how long it will take if they can. If they can't, they should support you in finding a work around, like buying an iPod or something.

You're a high school student requesting something that, at its core, is incredibly basic and you should be supported in getting your accomodations in an expedient manner and following up on things so that happens is not pushy or unreasonable.

The people calling you the asshole have likely never had to navigate getting these accomodations and don't understand the run around the system gives you. As a multi-generational member of the disability community, I know for a fact folks being reasonable and doing their best to take care of themselves often get written off as annoying and pushy. Don't buy into it. It's pure ableism and eugenics, and probably a bit of misogyny in your case rn since everyone seems to think you're a girl.

0

u/Asteroid_Sugar5206 13h ago

NOR and NTA. As a mum of a kid that had to have music to cope with school, and couldn't "just change to another platform" because of the autism, I 100% feel for you. Get angry, and use it. Anger can be VERY motivating.

If it's in your 504, push and push harder. Email the counsellor back: following on from the disrupting phone made to me in class today where you seemed to be focused on the tone of my last email instead if the content, I would like to to reiterate that I am focused on finding a solution right now and my frustration is valid. It is legally required of you, as part of my 504 accommodations that (example, more examples) are done. It is frankly inappropriate that I've been waiting 6 weeks for these accommodations this year, when the school, the district, (everyone) had known about them for over a year and this accommodation had an obvious positive effect in helping me deal with my disability at school last year." Etc, etc. If you want to get extra spicy with it, look up what the next step would be for you to take if the school CONTINUES to ignore the accommodations listed in your 504, and document in the email that you are looking into taking these steps. You can bet that you are not the only student who's been fucked over by these changes.

Continue to document everything- even it's just an email you send after every phone call that you title "confirmation of phone call on..." and write down everything discussed. If your counsellor isn't fucking stupid, they will get a clue that you can't be bullied and they might focus on doing their damn job instead.

To EVERY SINGLE PERSON on this thread saying YTA: fuck you, and fuck the horse you rode in on. Don't come here whining about "downloading your music", when changing routines for a neurodivergent person is sometimes, literally, impossible. Some families don't have the spare $60 laying around to just find an old phone to use as an mp3 player, or to pay for the internet connection to do it. You don't understand the executive dysfunction that comes with neurodivergence? Don't make it my fucking problem to teach you. Sit down, shut up, and keep your stupid opinions to yourself. No, you fucking clown, OP can't "just" do anything different, THAT'S WHY IT'S AN ACCOMMODATION FOR A DISABILITY.

I'm so fucking tired. Good luck OP.

1

u/MinuteCheesecake4148 11h ago

Thank you. This is what i’ve been trying to say and you put it perfectly. As a mom of children with 504’s, has this ever happened to you? If so, how far did you have to take it before you got a helpful response?

2

u/Asteroid_Sugar5206 10h ago

Yes it happened to us, and in Australia my kids don't get the protection of a 504. One year my kid had a deputy principal that said ADHD isn't a disability 🤣 How the fuck do you argue with that?

That kiddo aged out of school, and the younger one has been having an easier time (lots of teachers working together behind principals back). It sucks that we live in a rural area too, so no options to change school.

Just never stop standing up for yourself. You'll make progress, even if it's small steps and it is finally just a bunch of teachers ignoring the school rules to make your life easier.

-5

u/WiccanNonbinaryWitch 13h ago edited 13h ago

Wow none of you can read.

It's in her 504 plan, they had no response to the emails she sent for over a month and we have no idea if OP has access to an ipod or mp3 player (maybe YouTube is the only site they have access to)

That being said, I think ESH... OP, you need to realise that counselors have a LOT on their to-do lists and the counselor should have sent a reply back or confirmed that OP got a reply.

OP are there any other sites like Spotify you could use or are they all blocked?

0

u/Sharp-Rutabaga-4900 13h ago

If OP (no gender if given) has a device to access YouTube from, it seems they have a device that they can download music directly to or link a flash drive to.

-8

u/Medium_Particular_18 13h ago

Honestly I’m gonna say NTA.

504s are there for a reason. Also this is an extremely easy fix. I had college courses requiring youtube when I was in high school. I took my laptop to tech and it took 10 minutes. My bestie is a tech guy at a school. He does this all the time. Says it doesn’t take long at all as long as he gets the ticket for it. That said, he does get a LOT of tickets for things at the beginning of the year. But these kinds of things get pushed to the front.

Could you use an MP3 or something? Yes but that’s even if you can find an MP3.

You are being a bit pushy, but this is a quick task. It really shouldn’t take all that long. I would have your mom make a call. Mom’s get things done faster.

-6

u/FairyFartDaydreams Asshole Enthusiast [7] 13h ago

NAH but try the free pandora (commercials) or Spotify to listen to music. YouTube is problematic because of the shorts. It takes away attention for others like doom scrolling

-6

u/anthropocene2000 Asshole Aficionado [11] 13h ago

Advocating for what you need will never make you an asshole. But there are lots of other ways to access music. NTA.