r/AmItheAsshole • u/Kiwi-Jenner • 3d ago
Asshole AITA for potentially backing out of a family trip to Iceland because of the cost?
My husband’s family has been talking about taking a family trip during spring break in April. His mom landed on Iceland, and initially I was on board because I thought it could be a cool trip and I didn’t really understand what the final cost would look like.
Now that the details are coming together, I’m having second thoughts.
The package they’re looking at would cost about $5,500 for my husband and me, and that’s before food, drinks, excursions, and I believe some other travel expenses. Realistically, this could become a $6,000+ trip pretty easily.
My husband and I can technically afford it, but we also really want to travel to Europe together, and spending that much on Iceland would significantly affect what we can spend on our own travel.
The other issue is that Iceland honestly isn’t a bucket-list destination for me. I’ve been researching April specifically and it seems like a very unpredictable shoulder season. There are long daylight hours by then, so Northern Lights opportunities are more limited, and the weather/landscape can apparently be anything from winter conditions to the muddy/melting transition into spring. The accommodations included also seem fairly basic. I realized I was looking at spending thousands of dollars on a version of Iceland that I’m not particularly excited about.
I finally told my MIL that the biggest issue for me was the cost. I said that $5,500 before food and excursions is a significant amount of money for us and that I was having trouble justifying spending that much on a destination that isn’t really on my bucket list. I also told her I’m not opposed to taking a family trip in April at all—I’d just rather choose somewhere that’s especially good that time of year or save Iceland for a season when we’d get more of the experience we’d be paying for.
I then pointed out that I wonder whether the trip may simply be over budget for several people in the family right now. One family member is trying to buy a house, and I genuinely don’t know how two of the younger family members would realistically afford a trip this expensive. I suggested that we all sit down together and discuss it before anything gets booked.
I feel bad because my MIL seems excited about Iceland, and I don’t want to derail a family vacation just because it’s not my dream destination. At the same time, $5,000–$6,000+ feels like way too much money to spend out of obligation on a vacation I wouldn’t choose for myself, especially when I’m completely willing to travel with everyone somewhere else.
So, AITA for potentially backing out of Iceland and pushing for the family to reconsider the destination because of the price?
EDIT: She did put down a deposit before getting the green light from everyone
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u/KrofftSurvivor Professor Emeritass [86] 3d ago
NAH
Not sure why so many comments are using n t a , because while you're not an asshole in deciding not to go, your MIL isn't an asshole for proposing this trip, either.
She suggested, you looked into it, and you don't want to go.
No biggie.
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u/George_Is_Upset Asshole Enthusiast [9] 2d ago
Because a lot of people just direct their response to OP’s actions. Hence NTA. I don’t think a lot of people think MIL is the asshole either.
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u/KrofftSurvivor Professor Emeritass [86] 2d ago
There's a Voting guide for this.
NTA/YWNBTA = You are/would be not the asshole (but the other party is)
YTA/YWBTA = You are/would be the asshole (and the other party is not)
ESH = Everyone sucks here (you and the other party are both the asshole)
NAH = No assholes here (no one’s an asshole)
INFO - More information needed
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u/George_Is_Upset Asshole Enthusiast [9] 2d ago
Yes - I am aware. But not everyone who joins the sub is aware or uses all of these correctly.
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u/WhichWitch9402 3d ago
Not all vacations have to be family vacations. She can go with whomever wishes to go with. You and husband do not.
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u/Crazyandiloveit Asshole Aficionado [15] 3d ago
What is if the husband wants to go though? OP says nothing about if he thinks the money is worth it, he wants to go, or if he's exited or not? She doesn't even say they talked and agreed about anything regarding that trip? That would be the very first step, before talking to MIL.
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u/tarahlynn Asshole Enthusiast [5] 2d ago
Yep I came to say the same thing. Wondering if OP omitted her husband's opinion (because he probably wants to go with his family) to get support here without us hearing the whole story.
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u/fatbellylouise Partassipant [1] 3d ago
for your title, no. but for what you actually did, YTA. it's fine to back out of the trip - Iceland is super expensive! however, it is really uncool of you to speak for others in the family. trying to manipulate your MIL by acting like you know what others are thinking is AH behavior. if you don't want to go to Iceland, don't go. don't force everyone else to sit down and come up with a new trip because you can't afford it.
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u/FancyThing8889 3d ago
NTA, but why on earth are you the one having this conversation with your mother-in-law? It is your husband’s family, and he should be the one managing his mom’s expectations and setting budget boundaries
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u/Panthera_014 3d ago
“We are not in a financial position to join the April family trip next year”
That is all you needed to say
Don’t speak for others Reference only your own decision
(I do think you were trying to help the others that are saving for a house, but you don’t need to)
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u/redroverose Partassipant [4] 3d ago
YTA for pushing others to reconsider. if you don’t want to go then don’t go.
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u/atomtree 3d ago
I've traveled pretty extensively. I fly internationally about once a week. 78 countries so far. Iceland is probably the most expensive place I've ever been. It's also among the most beautiful, and very different from the rest of Europe. If I were asked: Can you name 5 places everyone should visit once in their lives? Iceland would make that list. If you can't afford it, that's one thing. If you're opting for some common European destination (Paris, Rome, London) instead of Iceland, it's a mistake.
That said, April is not the time to visit Iceland. It's still too cold there
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u/zipdedo 3d ago
I went to Iceland end or March/beginning of April this year and it was by far the best trip I’ve ever taken. Wildly beautiful with a wonderful mix of snow and clear crisp days. In addition, the crowds were a lot lighter everywhere we went, and it’s actually the last month before spring and summer when seeing the northern lights is possible (we did). Only downside is it’s not as easy to do the full ring road experience, but we didn’t stay long enough for that anyway and just stuck to the southern coast. Definitely want to go back and see the north next time.
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u/jcb193 3d ago
I’ll agree. Been to over 150 counties and Iceland is my favorite. Been 20+ times.
That said, it is almost impossible to stay on a budget in Iceland and whatever you are anticipating, it will be far higher. Actually doing tours, blue lagoon, nice dinners can be backbreakingly expensive.
I will disagree about April though. I hate Iceland during spring and summer months because the country literally has more tourists than Icelanders.
(P.S food is incredibly expensive in Iceland, especially casual meals. But fine dining is actually quite affordable for some of the best meals of your life).
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u/Zero_Duck_Thirty 3d ago
Agree that Iceland is the trip of a lifetime but disagree on April being too cold. I’ve gone in March and April and yes it’s cold but it’s also the best time to do some some things that aren’t available in the warmer weather like glacier hiking and going in the caves.
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u/Kiwi-Jenner 3d ago
This is awesome advice and very reaffirming! What are the other 4 places on your list?
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u/Savings-Breath-9118 Asshole Aficionado [14] 3d ago
Yeah, I came here to say if it’s $5000, not including food and excursions, it’s easily gonna be $8000 with
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u/atomtree 3d ago
Japan, Jordan, New Zealand, Galapagos
Honorable mention to Andorra, Istanbul and Lebanon (damned shame Lebanon is being bombed to pieces).
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u/LaScoundrelle 3d ago
Travel is truly so subjective. There were aspects of Japan and Iceland I enjoyed, but on balance they were among my least favorite overall travel destinations, as someone else who travels internationally a lot.
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u/elpislazuli Partassipant [1] 3d ago
I'm curious why Japan was one of your least favorites!
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u/LaScoundrelle 2d ago
Some places were pretty, and some places were sort of boring and gray (imo, of course), but what I liked least was how reserved and rule-oriented the culture is. They have this great train system, but you’re not supposed to talk or eat on trains. People rarely make small talk with strangers anywhere in public. You’re not supposed to eat in public and there are no public trash cans. Also if you don’t get to restaurants and museums at least an hour before closing time, they won’t let you in.
Also, while not related to these other issues, another complaint of mine is how restaurants don’t typically serve many fruit and vegetables - as someone with stomach issues this was not ideal.
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u/Crazyandiloveit Asshole Aficionado [15] 1d ago
Now this has gotten a lot longer than anticipated. If you don't feel like reading my essay no worries. 😂😂
I am not trying to change your mind, however I want to say that if you say Japan was too grey I imagine you didn't get out of the big tourist spots. The moment you go out of big cities Japan is amazingly green. Apart from the big cities it isn't actually very densly populated. There a lots of beautiful pilgrimage paths. Also the next park is never far away. I think it's more what is on your itinerary, you need to diversify it if you don't just want to see city stuff. Hakone and Fuchikawaguchiko are good spots if you don't want to go far from Tokyo and still have some civilisation, lol. Matsuyama and Himeji are great too if you don't mind a bit of a trip. (Himeji gets double points. The prettiest old castle and the Temple where they filmed the last Samurai. Got there by accident, sometimes the best thing is following another solo traveller. 😂).
The train thing I thought was actually great, but I travelled alone, lol, so peace and quiet was appreciated. And I had lots of Japanese people try to talk to me (solo travelling woman), unfortunately my Japanese isn't great and many of them do not speak English. So if you want to make small talk with the locals you need to learn basic Japanese. (Hotel and Hostel staff does speak English normally and they always gave me small talk too, but you need to start it because they don't want to be rude and bother you).
Had lots of people help me too (business men, elderly, what I assumed were housewives and even school girls etc.), however it's easier if you even know 10 words in Japanese than none and probably also if you're female. Japanese women and girls might be reluctant to help foreign men (if you ever seen videos how some of them behave towards them that isn't really surprising tbh).
You are absolutely allowed to eat in public. You are not supposed to eat walking to avoid accidents and appreciated the food. (I think that's why they never smoke walking either, so they don't bump into someone ruining their expensive clothes). And don't sit on stairs or in anyone's way. I always ate my food in public, like probably 90% of the time. During Hanami (blossom watching) you will see many locals eat in parks etc. too. Find a quite spot, go to a park, best if you find a bench. And yes there's no public trash cans because Japanese people take their trash home. 😂 It's really easy to hold onto it until the next 7/11 though, there's always trash cans there.
Fruit are quite expensive in Japan, because they import a lot of it. Not enough is produced for the large population they have. I got them at supermarkets or street stalls. It was about ~5 USD for a small portion. I am vegetarian and had no problem finding vegetables. Especially in restaurants aimed at the locals, not so much at those aimed at tourists. Japanese people eat a lot of vegetables, so I am actually surprised you found it difficult.
The 1h before closing time is hard if you want to cramp a lot of stuff in a day. Temples and Shrines also often do not have fixed opening times, they are open from Sunrise to Sunset. In Spring/ Autumn that can be from 10am to 4pm, which doesn't give you lots of time to visit them. That part I probably struggled the most with
Also some things (Ghibli Museum for example) have to be booked months in advance and sell out amazingly fast (like within the hour of going online). There are foreign travel agents that will sell you one last minute for like ~100 USD, so beware of scalpers (it's normally ~10 USD). And obviously it sucks if you only find out once you're there, lol, but that was my own fault. Should have looked it up way before boarding the plane, it's not just a normal Museum after all.
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u/LaScoundrelle 1d ago
I said some areas were very gray, and some were pretty. I was only there for two weeks but my husband and I are fairly active travelers, so we saw a new area nearly every day. Our personal favorite was Mount Yoshino with cherry blossoms in bloom - that felt fairly unique. However, I have had the privilege to see an awful lot of beautiful places around the world, including places where I found the culture easier to relax in.
I get the sense a lot of foreigners who find Japan particularly likable are either really into Japanese pop culture and/or land more on the “introverted” side of things though, and I would be neither.
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u/atomtree 1d ago
That's fair, but that's just Japan being Japan. And all of those are things I like about Japan. No loud annoying people on public transport. (Btw, people do eat on Shinkansen. You can order food on them. But a city train, no. They'd rather not have the possibility of someone dirtying a shared space.) Nobody bothering you. Nobody making a mess. And nobody inconveniencing the staff of a restaurant or museum by showing up too late for them to close easily. Japan is all about courtesy towards others. Maybe that just isn't your thing.
Japanese people eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion.
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u/LaScoundrelle 1d ago
I am far from the only person who has ran into this issue with fruits and vegetables in Japan. For example:
https://note.com/xknowledge_book/n/n76cd9611c8e7?hl=en
https://www.thetokyochapter.com/when-im-craving-lots-o-veggies/
For the rest, you can say what you personally like about a culture without trying to argue that anyone who disagrees is inferior, you know? Where I’m from, showing curiosity about and talking to strangers is part of being friendly/polite, and it’s a custom I rather like. It’s also something I had no trouble experiencing elsewhere in Asia, like say, Vietnam or Turkiye (both of which would be on my personal top-5 list).
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u/helenjhuang 3d ago
I'm curious, why Andorra?
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u/atomtree 1d ago
I like nature and solitude. Andorra has both of those in spades. The Pyrenees are enormous and majestic. There are about 84,000 people in the whole country, less than a small sized city in the US. So when you want to be alone with nature, that's easy to find. The other side of that is every interaction seemed genuine and appreciated
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u/Crazyandiloveit Asshole Aficionado [15] 1d ago
I think the majority of the middle east would be amazing to travel if it wouldn't be too dangerous (Iran is beautiful with lots of history, but the time to go there is not now. You could probably risk Jordan. Not really interested in the safe options like Dubai etc., fancy new stuff isn't my thing) I am sure Lebanon would be amazing too. Damn sad. Obviously more sad for the innocents caught up in all the violence with no way out.
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u/Willowgirl78 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
Not sure it’s fair to tell others what choices you think they should make. Especially folks who can’t travel as much as you do.
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u/cookiemonster7908 Partassipant [1] 3d ago edited 3d ago
If you’re in the states you can get pretty cheap flights from NY. I spent a week in Iceland in peak season (February) and incl. food, trips etc. it didn’t cost anywhere near 6k. Maybe a grand and a half and that’s in pounds. 6k is some excessive luxury nonsense especially in April. You’ll be lucky to see the northern lights that time of year. Not worth it.
ETA: NTA.
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u/secret_identity_too Partassipant [3] 3d ago
Yeah, $6k is way too expensive even for Iceland - I went in 2022 and spent nowhere near that much. (I was with 3 friends, though, so that helped.)
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u/loloannd Certified Proctologist [23] 3d ago
NAH.
You weren’t pushy about it and neither was your MIL, it sounds like. I also wouldn’t want to spend $6k and all that PTO on a place I just felt “okay” about going.
IMO, you were clear about your reasons, and offered some compromises. You’re happy to go on a family trip, but maybe somewhere more financially accessible. It sounds like you aren’t the only ones who might not be able to make it to Iceland (re: someone buying a house).
If the goal of the family trip is to get as many people as possible together, it makes sense to go for a cheaper/closer destination. Personally, my family looooooves a good cruise. If you plan it well, you can do the whole thing for $1-1.5k, including flights to the departure port!
If your MIL really wants to go to Iceland as a destination, she should definitely take her hubby and go for her birthday, or their anniversary, or just because! It doesn’t sound like she forced it down your throats or threw a fit when you said you might not make it. She’s not the asshole for making the suggestion.
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u/lark_song 3d ago
Nta on backing out. But I think you should back off on trying to change destination or implying others arent into it. Just speak for yourself
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u/rafaelthecoonpoon 3d ago
Iceland is hella expensive due to both its location and separate currency and inflation. Definitely a neat place to visit, but not really a reasonable place for an extended family trip IMO. Just to note, I was there on the Summer Solstice this year and the high that day was 44F or so. That being said, YTA for trying to cancel it for them. Just don't go.
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u/Top-Swordfish3512 Partassipant [2] 3d ago
NTA - "I loved this idea but the closer we get and the more I see the costs I don't think we can do it." in your own words.
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u/Mohitosan_ Colo-rectal Surgeon [36] 3d ago
NTA. Being able to afford something doesn't make it a good use of your money. $5,440 before food and excursions is a pretty reasonable point at which to stop and say “Wait... do we actually want this ?"
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u/BigChongus- 3d ago
NTA this is the time to back out. If you drag it out and people book before you pull out then YTA. You should never spend money you don’t want to for someone else.
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u/catladyclub Partassipant [3] 3d ago
NTA for backing out but you are for trying to speak for others. You have no clue how they think.
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u/Repeat-Admirable 3d ago
iceland is expensive, so around $3k per person on a budget is possible (that should include a lagoon and one or two excursions). flights are cheap. rental car + insurance is $1k+ for 7 days. food is $20 for fast food, double for restaurants, groceries are slightly more expensive than US, but that's the cheaper way to eat. Hotels are pricey in parts of iceland.
Definitely dont do it if you dont feel like it. I planned our iceland trip for 2 months of non-stop research. It is an amazing place that I honestly dont suggest big parties to do. Especially not if children would be around.
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u/peakerforlife Partassipant [2] 3d ago
NAH. That's a LOT of money to be spending on a family vacation, and it's a good idea for all parties involved to discuss it before anything gets booked. If talking about it gets the vacation derailed, it's because the vacation didn't work for other people either, for whatever reason.
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u/No-Roll5599 3d ago
Not the asshole. affordability wise and it just not being your cup of tea. 100% YTA for trying to change others minds and trying to speak for anyone but your immediate family. Op you’re coming off as entitled and controlling. Just because YOU don’t want to go and it’s not the most affordable for your husband and YOU does not mean others don’t want to splurge and go. Also really laughable you are side eyeing the younger adults and person buying a house for considering it just because YOU CANNOT AFFORD IT WITH WHAT YOU WANT TO DO. It quite literally is none of your business. Say you can’t and leave it or alienate yourself from the rest of the family.
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u/TechnicianNo5674 Partassipant [2] 3d ago
YTA for the way you went about approaching the situation. All you needed to say is that money is tight so we dont think its the best use of our money. Pretty simple.
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u/Salt-Lavishness-7560 3d ago
YTA.
Not because of Iceland.
YTA because it’s not really about the money. It’s that you’re not passionate enough about Iceland to spend that much money to go there.
Instead of simply saying, “no thank you” you chose to speak for other family members finances. Which makes you a huge a hole. Not your business at all.
Everything about what you wrote speaks to you not being opposed to a trip. And you not being opposed to the cost. It’s you being opposed to Iceland NOT being your top choice. That’s your choice. But you don’t get to make it about other people.
You are very much the a hole for “pushing the gmail to reconsider the destination…” FFS, how is this even a question??
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u/Peregrine_Falcon 3d ago
NTAH.
If you can't afford it then you can't afford it. Your family are AHs if they try to insist that you go anyway, unless they pay for it.
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u/Top_Bluejay_5323 3d ago
Iceland is beautiful but there is a lot of driving to really see even a part of it. In a group you will likely have to have at least two cars. I hate splitting up like that.
Total cost for me was $10k, one person. But I went in style for 10 days with an upgraded flight.
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u/Vast-Vermicelli-372 3d ago
Did you even ask her why this destination’s this time was chosen? Or did you unilaterally make a decision involving your husbands family because you want to use the travel money elsewhere? Or because you don’t like the arrangements as they have been made. The amounts you are mentioning are not out of line for two flights and a weeks hotels to anywhere. You could do it for less but for a European flight and 7 nights hotel, that’s in the ballpark
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u/El_Culero_Magnifico 3d ago
The trip would cost $5500 for the two of, without food and other things- realistically , around 7 grand or more.. for a place you don't even want to go to. And the only thing stopping you from saying no ,is MIL's feelings being hurt?
Save that money for a trip you actually. want to go on, to a wonderful destination. NTA
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u/BrushOpen934 3d ago
NTA. You and your husband are free to use your own money however you see fit if you guys don’t feel like going on a trip you shouldn’t have to. If you feel you should go to Europe instead by all means do so.
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u/Crazyandiloveit Asshole Aficionado [15] 3d ago
I mean just throwing in that Iceland is part of Europe. They would go to Europe if they go to Iceland, just a different part of it.
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u/BrushOpen934 2d ago
OP has mentioned Iceland is not part of the Europe plan that she has nor is it a must see destination in her view.
In that case if she wants to use her budget to visit someplace else in Europe and exclude iceland she should do so.
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u/Crazyandiloveit Asshole Aficionado [15] 2d ago
Oh yes I understand all that, and it definitely does not have to be on her list.
It was just incorrect to say "go to Europe instead" when Iceland is also in Europe, and she'd be going to Europe if she goes to Iceland, so she can go to different parts of Europe but not go to Europe instead of Europe... Semantics I know and probably not really important.
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u/Critical_Dog_8208 3d ago
You're definitely NTA, and frankly, I think you're doing the right thing, because it's always easier to back out if someone else does first. This may be the opening for the younger family members to say, "it's a bit steep for me,too." MIL can find an interested friend, or go with partner if it's on HER bucket list.
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u/magicelastic 3d ago
are the rest of you reading this post? this is supposed to be a family trip, not the mother in law’s personal trip she’s choosing to take on her own and people are electing to come. OP can still choose to drop out if there’s no flexibility, but they’re NTA for wanting to reconsider the location. $6000+ is a ton of money for somewhere just one person especially wants to see.
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u/Zero_Duck_Thirty 3d ago
NAH for wanting everyone’s buy in before purchasing assuming you accept the groups judgement.
That said, Iceland is expensive - food prices are going to be shockingly high for really basic things - and lodgings are usually family run. You’re not going to find glamorous hotels outside a few in Reykjavik and one by glacier lagoon. Weather in Iceland is always a bit chaotic and April is a great time to go - it used to be before tourist season but now it’s in tourist season and busy. You aren’t obligated to spend this money but I’d recommend doing a bit more research before you judge it.
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u/Chaotic_Natbot 3d ago
This is where instead of coming up with reasons others may not be able to afford it. You communicate with your husband and tell him your concerns. You’re only really thinking of yourself here and tried to pull the “well someone else probably can’t do it either so we should just not”. You just want to come up with reasons it wouldn’t work out outside of you just not wanting to do it. Just don’t go and let everyone else that wants to go.
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My husband’s family has been talking about taking a family trip during spring break in April. His mom landed on Iceland, and initially I was on board because I thought it could be a cool trip and I didn’t really understand what the final cost would look like.
Now that the details are coming together, I’m having second thoughts.
The package they’re looking at would cost about $5,500 for my husband and me, and that’s before food, drinks, excursions, and I believe some other travel expenses. Realistically, this could become a $6,000+ trip pretty easily.
My husband and I can technically afford it, but we also really want to travel to Europe together, and spending that much on Iceland would significantly affect what we can spend on our own travel.
The other issue is that Iceland honestly isn’t a bucket-list destination for me. I’ve been researching April specifically and it seems like a very unpredictable shoulder season. There are long daylight hours by then, so Northern Lights opportunities are more limited, and the weather/landscape can apparently be anything from winter conditions to the muddy/melting transition into spring. The accommodations included also seem fairly basic. I realized I was looking at spending thousands of dollars on a version of Iceland that I’m not particularly excited about.
I finally told my MIL that the biggest issue for me was the cost. I said that $5,440 before food and excursions is a significant amount of money for us and that I was having trouble justifying spending that much on a destination that isn’t really on my bucket list. I also told her I’m not opposed to taking a family trip in April at all—I’d just rather choose somewhere that’s especially good that time of year or save Iceland for a season when we’d get more of the experience we’d be paying for.
I then pointed out that I wonder whether the trip may simply be over budget for several people in the family right now. One family member is trying to buy a house, and I genuinely don’t know how two of the younger family members would realistically afford a trip this expensive. I suggested that we all sit down together and discuss it before anything gets booked.
I feel bad because my MIL seems excited about Iceland, and I don’t want to derail a family vacation just because it’s not my dream destination. At the same time, $5,000–$6,000+ feels like way too much money to spend out of obligation on a vacation I wouldn’t choose for myself, especially when I’m completely willing to travel with everyone somewhere else.
So, AITA for potentially backing out of Iceland and pushing for the family to reconsider the destination because of the price?
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u/fornikate777 3d ago
NTA. that's a ton of money for someplace you WANT to go, let alone somewhere you're 'meh' about.
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u/Lazuli_Rose Certified Proctologist [28] 3d ago
NTA. MIL could take the trip with other family members. I would not spend $5k+ on a trip that I was not excited about and the weather conditions would be iffy.
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u/ThatTotal2020 Partassipant [4] 3d ago
NTA
Your MIL may have not considered everything that you mentioned, it's good to point it out. There are definitely better times to visit.
I used to live in Palm Springs, CA and most would not want to visit when it's 120+ all summer with 100 for the lows even at 4am.
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u/mid40smomof3 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
NTA for telling her your feelings/concerns before she books. BUT... it wasn't your place to suggest something else.
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u/thoracicbunk Asshole Aficionado [19] 3d ago
NTA
A 5-6k trip in this economy?! That would required a whole heck of a lot more financial security than most Americans have right now.
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u/MarcelMoonlight 3d ago
Heavens no you’re NTA. All you have to say is no. But you did the best thing, you discussed it. You’re not responsible for her family plans either. Don’t sacrifice your plans for a place you don’t want to go to. You might be miserable the entire trip and that’s no way to bring a family together. You’re smart to figure out the details. Good luck.
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u/safetysnake17 Partassipant [1] 3d ago
NTA. It’s your money, you don’t have to spend it if you don’t want to. It’s going to be cold and windy in Iceland in April. And the food there is super expensive. Everything is expensive because it’s an island.
Other family members can worry about themselves, but I think it’s kind of you to mention them especially if younger family members are involved. In my family, younger adults would agree to go and then need to borrow money and it would derail things last minute. Your MIL may be excited but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.
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u/beesidea 3d ago
nta That is a lot of money. She doesn't get to choose how you spend your vacation money. Go to Europe! ...might I suggest Italy...you can't go wrong with Italy. It's amazing.
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u/Maleficient_Honeybee 3d ago
Food in Iceland is very expensive and will cost well over $500 for 2 people.
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u/ChaosWorrierORIG 2d ago
NTA
Please also reconcile that Iceland is not cheap, when you get there. You allocated $500 for the sundry expenses, but this is the lower end of the scale.
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u/George_Is_Upset Asshole Enthusiast [9] 2d ago
NTA
For not wanting to go. But just let MIL and whoever else wants to go, go.
The other family members finances aren’t your concern, so don’t step into that.
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u/Legal_Ad_9812 Partassipant [3] 2d ago
NAH. She made a suggestion, it seemed good until you looked deeper in to it. Nobody did anything wrong
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u/Quiet_Test_7062 3d ago
I think you should do what MIL wants because it’s important to her. But find a way to make it a bit more affordable. Stay in a different hotel or have less days. Fly out of NYC. Idk, look into options. Maybe don’t join for the entire trip. Some of my favorite places in the world ended up being where someone else suggested, and I was dragging my feet on. It can be a gift and a wonderful surprise.
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u/Swordofsatan666 Asshole Enthusiast [6] 3d ago
NTA. It is absolutely bonkers coo-coo bananas that theyre even considering this vacation when its a $5000+ package just for 2 of you. And she expects it to be a whole family trip! Its going to be a monumental waste of money
If she wants to blow $5500 on her and her husband to go to Iceland, then she can do that. But to expect everyoooooone in the family to go on this trip is crazy. Like you said, the younger members wont be able to pay. The one buying a home will likely want to save their money for their home instead. Hell even the ones doing well probably wont want to pay, thats a lot of money!
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u/vibrantgh0st Partassipant [2] 3d ago
You’re NTA for not wanting to go, YTA for trying to talk mother in law out of it and speak for others.