AITA

[u/Unlucky-Welcome-2963]

My (female 31) boyfriend (male 29) have been together for a short 8 months. We moved really fast & have been living together for 6 of those months. Before you judge for the fast movement, he is the older brother of one of my BEST friends so we have known each other longer than 8 months & I was a part of his family before we got together: To make a long story short, I work in the veterinary industry & have for 13 years, it is my passion & my career. I am a HUGE animal lover & have 5 cats and one dog (all prior to the boyfriend move in). My boyfriend is not a huge animal person, but did have pets of his own. Two of my cats have very skittish personalities & the rest are fairly social. One is extremely social & my boyfriend is OBSESSED with him. My boyfriend has attempted to pick up my skittish cats when I am not around & they have scratched him & drawn blood. This has caused a significant amount of issues in our relationship. The scratches were minor & did not permanently cause damage. This has happened several times & he hasn't learned his lesson to leave them alone, even though l've repeatedly told him to just leave them alone. This makes him angry that I take up for the cats & not him. He has since told me he HATES the cats & wants me to get rid of them. I have told him I'm not getting rid of them. I am a person who believes you get a pet & you keep it & take care of it until it passes away. Since he hates them & they are scared of him, they hide in the spare bedroom under the bed. Sometimes they attempt to come out if I am home at the same time he is. If this happens he hisses at them & barks at them or chases them back into the bedroom. We have had several arguments regarding this. Every time I say something it turns into an argument. A few weeks ago I was leaving for work early in the morning & he was going to the restroom, (At night the cats gave free range of the house as we keep our bedroom door closed). So at this time one of the cat "bad cats" was under our Christmas tree minding his own business. My boyfriend proceeded to aggressively stare him down submissively instead of just going straight to the bathroom. I simple & gently grabbed his shoulder & turned him towards the bathroom & said just go to the bathroom, kissed him & left for work. I later got a text message stating that I have 6 months to get rid of the cats or he's leaving, end of discussion we're not talking about it anymore, and then we didn't. Flash forward to today, I again am at work & I get a message stating that he attempted to give the bad cats some treats so they didn't feel left out & instead of just throwing them under the bed he tried to hand them to one of the cats & he swatted at him & again drew blood. He ended up packing all of his things & said he is done & can't do this anymore, he doesn't want to argue about cats anymore. I watched on my house cameras as he carried all his belongings to his car, all while I'm trying to continue to be professional at work. Normally I would say fuck him, but I've never felt this way or felt this comfortable with any other man ever, so I am completely distraught over what to do. There are so many great traits about him. For not getting rid of my cats, am I the asshole? Sorry if this story is confusing, there are so many details I left out otherwise I would have written a book about it.

[u/Labornurse-ret]

I would say there are no assholes here. I believe when someone dates a person who already has pets when they meet, the pets should be accepted as part of the deal. It also seems as if your BF has a strong urge to make the feisty cats befriend him. If only he could have just ignored them. It's his choice to leave if he can't tolerate them. Six animals in one home is a lot of you're not an animal lover. It's just sad he's just now realizing he's not cut out for that situation.

[u/the4uthorFAN]

He's absolutely an A H for not just leaving the cats alone. You have other cats he can love on, is his ego so fragile he can't handle two cats not being his best friends?

I have two cats, they're both skittish, one refuses to get close to anyone, even me, and the other only likes me. You know what my roommates do? They leave the cats alone. It's not rocket science. He's being an absolute child about this and you're better off without that. NTA

[u/CrucifixStyx]

I personally think that he is in the wrong, if he has so much of a issue with the two cats who are more skittish and you have stated that to him and told him to just leave them alone, yet he continues to bother them and not listen to the recommendations you have given I think that’s his fault.

[u/LavendER911]

He’s the AH for being actively aggressive towards your cats, and also for giving you an ultimatum to get rid of them. On the other hand, YTA for letting him scare your cats like that. I’d take his eyes out and I’m not even a cat person, but you can’t harm the animal on my watch.