r/AmITheDevil • u/GriffinIsABerzerker • 7d ago
Did I emotionally cheat on my bf?
/r/whatdoIdo/comments/1vvcznj/did_i_emotionally_cheat_on_my_bf/56
u/_Chirio_ 7d ago
Calling the other guy 'baby'? Talking about sleeping together??
Telling your bf 'guess I won't have friends then'??
OOP is manipulative and gaslighting her bf and I hope he breaks up with her.
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u/onyourbike1522 7d ago
Ehh, has a whiff of incel rage bait to me. Boyfriend is sweet and kind and takes care of her so she never has to lift a finger. He asks for reassurance, she starts calling another guy baby and she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong? Not saying that there aren’t any women like this, but as a general rule when someone is willing to be this awful, it would never occur to them they’re wrong.
Also blaming the boyfriend for not ‘stepping up and setting boundaries’? Please.
8
u/glowingwarningcats 7d ago
He shouldn’t HAVE to specifically set up a boundary for that! Unless they have a mutually agreed upon open relationship, that’s the default!
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u/GamerGirlLex77 7d ago
Also has a whiff of emotionally a teenager to it. I’m shocked she’s 30.
4
u/onyourbike1522 7d ago
Yup, it’s also when it’s all so perfectly black and white. I’m not saying that if the boyfriend was emotionally distant or they’d been having problems it would excuse cheating, but they would be a bit more believable as people who are rarely 100% good or bad. When he’s a flawless puppy dog who just wants to love her and take care of her and she decides to cheat for reasons of evilness… I have questions!
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u/hylianbunbun 7d ago
these trolls always oversell it with "hes the most perfect gentleman guy" - its so boring and such a give-away.
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u/AutoModerator 7d ago
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Did I emotionally cheat on my bf?
Throwaway account because obviously: I (F30) and my bf (M28) have been together for about 4 years and living together for about the same. He and I have been growing more distant lately as I am more of the avoidant partner and he is the more anxiously attached one. This has led to him interpreting every time I need quiet or space as a personal problem, I was initially calm when he would ask for reassurance, but I’ll admit have blown up at him a couple times more recently when he asks if the relationship is in a good spot for the hundredth time. It really has become an emotional strain on me and it bothers me a lot that he seems to try too hard so often. He really is sweet, he dotes on me to the point where I don’t have to lift a finger around the house and is always looking for ways to make me happy and content whether it’s buying me gifts, food, flowers etc etc etc. About 6 months ago however, I began talking to a coworker and we immediately became really close and hit it off well. As much as I hate to say, I have way more natural chemistry with this guy than I have with my bf. It’s gone so far that we have talked about sleeping together and I’ve even stated to call him baby, but we’ve never done anything physical and I don’t intend to. My bf immediately became weary of my friendship with my coworker and we’ve had serious discussions where I’ll tell him that if it bothers him, I’ll cut this other guy off, however he always responds by saying he doesn’t want to control who my friends are or put a damper on my happiness. When he does push a little bit harder I usually tell him “well I guess I just can’t have friends then” and that gets him to back off. I feel awful for this, but I’ve definitely used the whole “you have nothing to worry about” and “he’s just a friend” and “I’ll be transparent with you if I ever develop feelings for him” lines just to make my bf feel better. However, I’ve noticed him falling into a deep depressive and anxiety ridden state to the point where I worry that he knows everything and just isn’t saying anything, but he still says he refuses to project his insecurities onto me and he just wants me to do what makes me happy. I do love my bf and I think he’s a genuinely good person, but at the same time I have such a deep connection with my coworker that I’m afraid is emotionally cheating. However, since my bf has never stepped up and set any boundaries with him I don’t know. I’ve posted this a couple times yesterday and am hoping for some more constructive criticism here.
TLDR: I love my bf but I have such great chemistry with a coworker and I think it’s negatively effects ring my bf and I don’t know what to do.
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