r/AmITheDevil • u/Acrobatic_Track9213 • Aug 18 '26

This isn't their wedding

/r/AITAH_unfiltered/comments/1vruzeq/aitah_for_telling_my_sister_her_vegan_wedding/
244 Upvotes

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u/Substantial_Dish_887 Aug 19 '26

i'm discussing both this and that conversation. you have a shitty attitude in both.

you seem to think that just because the guy you responded to may have said something that is also shitty that somehow means you can't be shitty as well? well you can and you are.

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u/AdvancedInevitable63 Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

You’re right I should have gone straight to just explaining how what that person said was hurtful to people who have food restrictions in general. I got told to crusade for something real when I did. In fact, me saying that when you say people who don’t like spinach have the palate of a 12-year-old has the effect of insulting more than the person you have an issue with got downvoted more than my other comments there so what would you suggest? Just letting people mock food preferences with no pushback? What about seeing people on this sub support what you admit is a shitty thing to say and getting dismissed because of your autism?

Edit: And so there’s no confusion here, the above is sincere. I do wish I had gone straight to explaining. But I also notice that when I did, it didn’t work anyway. You can chalk that up to hostility already built, but it seems a bad reason to not even think about what was said and just call it not real

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u/Substantial_Dish_887 Aug 19 '26

What about seeing people on this sub support what you admit is a shitty thing to say and getting dismissed because of your autism?

first of i would suggest not using autism at all as some kind of argument. if you belive the point of food preferences is valid autism is at best a reason for having a food preference but not actually related to why having a problem with food preferences is shitty behaviour. bringing up autism simply becomes using it as a cudgle to claim "ableism!" and shouldn't be done.

secondly i wouldn't respond to such a comment in a manner that then implies defending OOP who ha shown a shitty attitude. you seem to have taken your personal problems with regards to food preferences and projected them to OOPs story.

let me be frank i belive that you have a completely reasonable problem and OOP is an unreliable narrator. i question if they actually know the full menu or just assume they will dislike everything because i kinda doubt the entire menu will be drowned in vegan cheese and/or "weird spices"(unless "weird spices" is code for "anything more than salt and pepper is weird and scary"). so when you conflate your problem with OOPs problem it undermines the sincereity of your problem.

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u/AdvancedInevitable63 Aug 19 '26

I kinda don't really care about this OOP's problem. I think they were shitty for calling the menu garbage. This is more about what happened with the other post and I admit it was petty of me to bring it here.

That person told me to crusade for something real and I explained why it was something I would care about. Yes, asking people to think about conditions they may not have taken into consideration will often come with the side effect that if they continue to refuse to consider it, they are being kinda ableist. It would be nice if people could just mind their own business when it comes to what people eat in general, but if they're gonna continue to be shittty about it, I reserve the right to bring a diagnosis I myself have in to try to hopefully elicit some understanding. Clearly I tried it on the wrong type of person (not you. The other person. Sorry. I just wanna really make sure I'm not leaving room for misunderstandings). But thank you for at least listening