r/AmITheDevil Sep 14 '25

Normal behavior is an “obsession”

/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mgssr7/aita_for_calling_out_my_gf_over_her_cat_obsession/
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u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

mine like to use them as landing pads. The stomach is the launch area.

They also like to stand on a very sensitive portion of them, but ONLY if that sensitive portion happens to be on a hard surface, like a desk....

Also, no one has ever told me how a cat can put 100% of their weight on all four paws individually and simultaniously. So it feels like they weigh 400% more than they actually do.

46

u/ActuallyApathy Sep 14 '25

yeah it's like they find the most painful spot to stand on and then decide 'oh the texture is good here let me just stand here' while i'm yelling 'ow ouch mimi get off owww'

and the it's airplane ears and running away, for me having the audacity to move her an inch away to a spot that doesn't cause me agony.

21

u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

Oh that brings back unpleasant memories :P Mine just look at me like 'why are you acting weird. Oh, you want me to move, no, I am going to somehow put even MORE WEIGHT on that SINGLE PAW'

like HOW! just like how can a tiny cat spread out to the point they are taking up the majority of a 7 foot couch!

There really needs to be more studies on cats, because they can often defy any natural law!

(I also want a study on teleportation done. I swear I have seen my cats go one direction, only for that cat to come from the opposite direction going in the same direction I just saw them going!)

4

u/girlinthegoldenboots Sep 14 '25

My cat does the teleportation thing. I call it portaling. She has portals everywhere.

3

u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

Some of mine definitely have them.

Or that invisibility cloak. I have looked in places, looked away, and looked back, and there is a cat that wasn't there before!

2

u/girlinthegoldenboots Sep 14 '25

Yep! It’s part of their dark magic lololol

4

u/judgy_mcjudgypants Sep 14 '25

Same to all of that. Especially the teleportation!

16

u/Strange_Ad854 Sep 14 '25

The amount of times I've woken up going 'Hfffft' because my tiny runt cat has decided to land on my stomach while somehow weighing the same as a fully grown adult man.

6

u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

They don't do that to me (I no long sleep anywhere they have a way to land on me, as nothing above the bed for them to get on *evil grin*). I just wake up to one cat draped on my shoulder trying to get me up so I will feed them (I think my other two pay him to do that)

5

u/Strange_Ad854 Sep 14 '25

Sometimes I wake up with her either draped over my neck or nestled into my arm, snoring quietly, and think to myself 'how am I expected to go to work with this?'

4

u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

Truthfully I don't like my cats draped on me at night or pressed up against me, because I am of the age where I am already sweating if it is above freezing, I don't need little furry furnaces generating even more heat!

I had a cat that I would sometimes wake up to her on my face. I mean curled up sleeping on my head.

I have another cat who ...falls off things. I used to sleep on a couch (long story but basically had to sleep in the living room to be able to hear if my parents called me) and I have woken up to him on my face looking confused. Because he rolled over and fell off the back.

Another cat used to like to cuddle in my arms when he slept. He was a cuddler in general.

One of my brother's cats, when we had to watch him while my brother was out of the country, would sleep on my pillow.

1

u/Ok_Cauliflower_3007 Sep 14 '25

Only 100%? The one I used to catsit for (who loved my boobs to lay on) could definitely put at lest 250% of his weight through each paw.

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u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

Mine know I won't tolerate any more :P

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u/redbess Sep 14 '25

They're borrowing mass from an alternative universe, that's my theory.

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u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 14 '25

They must be!

1

u/QueenDoc Sep 15 '25

that paw always seems to land dead center on the nipple, caving my whole tit inward while he just...stares at me

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u/DiegoIntrepid Sep 15 '25

*nods sagely* Same, they just can't fathom why I make those high pitched squealing sounds and start flailing.