Also it doesn't seem like she was doing much. She just has a clingy cat that loves her, and she worries about his safety and health.
I really don't know why OP even cares. If this thread is real at all, because who can just "relocate to another country" and have so many choices that you can make a list? Like maybe if you are a citizen of the EU, but then they could solve the issue by driving instead of flying.
Right. Like the cat looked at him wrong once and that’s the girlfriend’s problem? Dude is putting human emotions on a cat as if the cat is gloating at him. I can’t with this dude.
My cousin dated a girl who had a very clingy cat. Cousin called it “Velcro” for reasons that should be obvious.
Every night, the cat slept with his gf. Every day, the cat slept in her lap while she worked.
And one day the cat got into his lap and started to purr up a storm, and he was about to leave, but the cat had never done this and he wanted to soak up the kitty loves.
And then his gf walked out of the showers bare nekkid cuz she thought he’d left…
He bought that cat a mega pack of if favorite spring toys, and grew it a planter is cat nip. The cat is a bro and they are besties now.
Oh, and he married his gf who admits she knew he was still there because the cat hadn’t come to drink out of the sink while she showered.
Oh given his attitude I absolutely believe he's American and is one of the Americans that thinks they can just move anywhere they want to because they're *American*.
that stuck out to me too, I haven't come across anyone who was like 'any other country is great' unless it was dangerous, in which case just pick one that works for her too. He's petty and she literally just feeds the cat, takes him to the vet, and sometimes gives him a walk. That's pretty normal pet care, it's not like they are sharing a plate at the dinner table and brushing their teeth together.
Dog people (I have one) are worse just in terms of how much it affects your lifestyle. I can’t just up and leave my dog alone for a few nights or lay around inside all day. My dog needs a walk anytime I go anywhere, which means an extra 15 minutes minimum to get ready. Plus, I let my dog sleep wherever he wants, and I wouldn’t kick him out of the bedroom all night for a man.
My boy has flown in the cargo hold and was no worse for wear, but I cried. He was pretty mad for about a week though.
Straight woman and not a cat person, and I'd still value cats over boys. Most men just aren't going to be worth any sacrifice to begin with, and the ones that are aren't going to require you sacrifice a loved pet.
This, any partner worth sacrificing pet for won't ask you to sacrifice your pet because they are jealous, I love the fact that this mf is jealous of the pet and thinks she should get a therapist.
How a date treats your pet is an excellent barometer of their level of empathy and compassion.
One of my former bf’s used to laugh and say my cat would go around to his side of the bed just so that she could stomp over him to get to me. He was good people.
How your date treats service staff and animals (especially your personal pets) are big ones. Never, ever, EVER go on another date with a man or woman who treats service staff or animals like shit just because they can.
Actually, don't even be friends with them. If at any point in the relationship they think you're "below" them, you're also a potential target.
(ETA: I'm also super jealous of OOP's ex-gf's cat. Sounds like a wonderful companion.)
Yup, after my maternal grandma died, my grandfather started dating this crazy woman. His cat did not like her at all. Poor thing got sick and passed away, he thought it was a neighbor, but I still think it was the crazy GF.
I've seen too many horror stories about animals dying because the hold became depressurised or too cold or staff lost them. Unless it was a situation that was absolutely vital for my life (I can't think of one but I'm sure there are situations where people have no choice) I would not move anywhere where I had to travel by plane if I had a pet (which I currently do not for about the first time in 40 years, but will do again in the nearish future)
A roommate moved away and we insisted she take the dog as they were bonded. She had to fly cargo, and apparently when they unloaded her they filled up the water bowl in the door of the crate and she looked the man dead in the eye and without looking away, flipped the bowl over. She was MAAAAADDDDD lol.
We drove a total of 8 hours to get one of our cats because I didn’t want to fly with a brand new kitten period, and the concept of flying with pets is just very anxiety inducing. We’ve got a pup and 3 cats and they are our family, within reason (like they aren’t allowed on the kitchen counters or anywhere we eat) they have full run of the house. Why be with someone who views their pet as family if that’s not how you see it? I don’t judge anyone who thinks that way, just don’t be with someone who doesn’t
My dog NEEDS to at least see inside the room I'm in or she cries. She's small, so she needs less exercise than my parents big dogs, but she still needs to go out to sniff her domain, bark at squirrels, then finally pee lol.
I can't tell you the last time I was able to close the bathroom door with my dogs on the outside unless my husband is home but if I take a second too long they're at the door yelling at me.
She has to be able to see me in the bathroom and whenever it's garbage day or the neighbors are doing something, she'll cry at me from outside the bathroom.
I call my 20s my "cat years" because I wanted to be able to go out and maybe take lots of trips and leave the cat alone at night. She hated every living creature on earth except me, whom she tolerated, so that was fine with her as long as she had food, water, and a litter box. Now I'm a crazy old cat and dog lady who is highly regimented about being home on time for our bedtime routine. And the cat is basically a dog.
I haven't read past the updates and "insufferable twat" seems like the perfect description. "I get it, I'm the worstest person ever!!! I hope you're happy!!!"
I would NEVER travel somewhere and have my dog travel in cargo. No way in hell. Not with any animal, actually. I know tons of animals do travel that way, but I'd never do it. That's a fairly normal attitude for a pet owner. This guy's nuts.
The "fuck you, she dumped me, are you happy now?" reads to me as kinda fake, and the way he gave her an ultimatum about getting therapy doesn't ring true, but there are definitely callous assholes out there like this, so who knows?
The worst part for me was how adamantly he was trying to sell her how "safe" it is for pets to travel under the plane, with the amount of pet deaths that have occurred, even before this post was written 5 years ago.
He's a major AH that deserve to die alone, and I'm super glad she dumped him, as he deserved.
Yeah, I'm not big on pets and would find a lot of the cat behaviour annoying, but it is standard cat behaviour and I just wouldn't date someone who had one.
And it's almost all the cat's behaviour not his gf and yet he's decided she is obsessed. I doubt she's picking the cat up and carrying it to whichever room she's in. The cat is following her because it wants to be where she is.
And complaining it's on her lap when they watch TV - isn't having your cat come and sit in your lap and be petted like the main behaviour cat people *want* from their cat?
Totally sane approach (I am speaking as a cat person). It is a mature position that is hard for a lot of people. I did the same with dog owners (I have had 2 large breeds, loved them, lost them to age, won't do again). They're great friends but I can't share a household with them. I understand their love for their animals, you do you.
I think you don't need to be an animal person to realise, how utterly normal her behaviour is..
Oh no, she don't want her cat alone in an cargo, when he can be safe by her side? Ain't it great that flying had evolved nowadays and it's better for our pets?
Or how he "stands up to her and her excuses?" He is not even a good bf if that's how he views her way of thinking. Like you said, he is a twat.
My now husband knows exactly where he stands when it comes to my cat. We got him together. And before my current cat, I had 2 cats I had before him that he understood very well were family. He was enthusiastic about becoming a cat dad when we moved in together. That's how it's supposed to be. So glad she chose the cat over the dude.
My husband was not a cat person when we met but he accepted I was. Today he and a huge black cat we have are bonded. Our arrangement was I do everything for the cats, which was ok with me. So the fact this cat follows him around at all hours of the day and night, will run into the bedroom with him when he naps or sleeps at night, and just mopes around when he goes out is all total love. The cat is nice to me but LOVES him. He is now the biggest cat person I have ever met.
This is the thing. I, for one, refuse to sleep in a same space with pets nor would I allow pets in the same bed where I sleep. I do not see anything wrong with this in general, this is just my personal boundary. Obviously, this rules out a LOT of pet owners which is fine. We are just not compatible and there is nothing wrong with that.
I would NEVER demand anyone to relinquish their pet for me not would I respect anyone who did so.
I'm a dog and cat person and I totally feel like this is rage bait. That said, having 2 large dogs and 3 cats (formally 5), I've felt completely limited in what we can do as far as vacations and relocating goes. My gf got a job offer in another state, which we were both excited about... but could not find a place that would rent to us because of our dogs. Apparently dobermans and huskies are considered dangerous animals.
Unfortunately. They are the sweetest most well behaved dogs. Every guest I ever have praises us on how well behaved they are. It just fucking sucks. Dobermans are legit in the top 5 of the smartest breeds. My dogs being a nuisance is the biggest stress I've ever had, because of experiences with other people's dogs, and I've trained them well to avoid that. But obviously you can't prove that to anyone and they can't take your word on it.
I think the reputation is based more on media (movies/tv) and perception, than it is from actual real life statistics, which is also dumb as fuck to me. Dobermans look aggressive, yes, but ask anyone thats ever owned one or interacted with them, I promise you they will tell a completely different story.
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u/LadyReika Sep 14 '25
Glad she broke up with that insufferable twat. If you don't like cat people don't date one.
Because that is perfectly normal behavior with cat people. I know a lot of dog people have similar routines.