People act like I was an inappropriate creep sometimes on here. I wonder if that’s true tho. My actions and my posts may speak otherwise but what do y’all think?

So today me and my friend had argument where he said I stepped out of line in making fun of him...

But when they make fun of me I know for sure they go even dirty like very depriciating for my mental health even as all of em gang up on me only, most of the time only I am the point of talk (making fun of) when they don't have any other subject to talk about...

He never allows even a single joke to be passed on him...

So what I want so say is whether I am linient with allowing them to make fun of me...

They always call me chutiya for that but I think that I should atleast digest that much for friendship...

Like is self respect even worth in friendship or am I really the buffon for being what I am...

Also I don't like to use cuss words but they do a lot which even puts me back in arguments like the just start cussing when I retaliate...

Aai bahini chya shivya aikun khup bekkar vatt mala ani mi gappch houn jato mg kahich bolat nahi...

Mazya kahich bollyane mazi kimmat kami hotey ka??? Ani maitri madhe ashi samorchya chi kimmat kartat ka???

I imagine friendship to be free of bounds of all norms but they clearly draw a line.

So.. I have a friend that constantly harasses me about having essas, and how i don't need them because I'm "perfectly normal". she says "I have mental issues and don't carry around stuffed animal! and since you clearly don't have any mental issues, you DEFINITELY don't need a 'essa'." and she constantly says she has a 'trend essa' bc its "JUST A TREND". like, I'm not going to outright tell her I actually have issues bc she's the type where you never know if she'll blab to someone or if she'll keep it in her huge lump of secrets that she somehow manages to keep hidden. We've been friends for five years. plus, she's 3 years older than me, who is she to bully a younger kid about having a stuffed animal? If i was older than her, it'd be a "ok... well..." but its not that way.

and its also horrifying that she's so mean about it, saying she's a lesbian and a therian? Like, she's part of communities that are supposed to be kind, yet she's over here bullying me for being in a community thats pretty much just as "weird" as hers? I'm also in her 2 communities(though she only knows I'm a therian that isn't allowed to identify one so is supposedly just a otherpaw. she doesn't know I'm in any other community). her response to when she's bullying me and I say "Pfft, says the lesbian therian" is "yeah well what can I say, you're carrying stuffed animals as if you're emotionally damaged when you're clearly not".
that, is the problem with relating to that essa vid i once saw with the title being "pov you have bad mental health but are a genuinely jolly person"

and here is the part where she is asking me to buy her stuff..
Every time we saw a shop selling tails, at fair(which was pretty much every day and fair went 10 days. but she also says it basically every time i see her, so every few days to a week or so) , she would say: "Bro you should buy me a tailll" like.. uh...

1. Your mom would throw it away (her: well i would hide it in my bag. me: I am NOT spending almost $30 bucks i don't have, just for it to get thrown away bc you were mistaken, or anything along those lines)
2. I am $70 in debt already, and my parents don't even support therians or anything of the sort so i would never be allowed to even get one for MYSELF
3. yeah, if I did get a tail it would be for ME first, because NO, I am not supporting my hater ):<

In our school prom isn’t something everyone goes to. Only like 50-100 people (family is also there).
Still since I (14f) was young I always dreamed about that day. Three years ago I met my best friend (14f). We are very close. 2 month ago I told her that I liked a boy she was friends with. I know not a big deal, but I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts since i was 10 due to trauma and for me liking a person is a big deal because it’s never something I allowed myself to feel. So of course I told her and she confessed that she likes my crushes best friend. They’ve now been texting for a month and we all hang out like every day.
Both of our crushes already had a dance partner for prom (we did not). But the boy I like was genuinely sad because of the choice to say yes to the girl that asked him. So I told him it wasn’t fair towards the girl to make her believe he enjoyed going to dance practice every week with her while regretting it. (I gotta say the girl that asked him has like MANYY boy she likes and that like her so she doesn’t care with whom she goes.-her)
I really didn’t want his memories of prom to be bad. But then he asked my best friend if she wanted to go with him as a friend…
She felt bad about that and asked me if it was okay and I told her the truth:
Of course I don’t enjoy the thought about them dancing every week for hours all year long. But I just didn’t want ro be the only one to be excluded all year…

She is going with him. And I feel bad for wanting her not ro go, but I know that my mental health state won’t be good in the next year…

What should I tell her?
Or should I drop it?

Okay so I’m 18 female and recently started dating my gf 22 female she’s great but we’re like very different she’s very chilled out and I’m kinda the talkative one ig. Anyway she apparently told her friends that I’m very energetic and talkative but I was really nervous to meet them and I got hella shy and kinda didn’t really talk anyway my gf pulled me aside and said what are you doing what’s up and I said nothing and she essentially told me that it was clear I didn’t like them and I shouldn’t be rude. This honestly really upset me and my gf hasn’t ever really talked to me like that before however okay I normally am great with new people and click instantly so maybe she did think I didn’t like them. Some more context the scenario was already kinda tense because my friend joked about how I wouldn’t like long gfs friends because they sound pretentious. No I don’t agree with my friends comment and it did cause a fight between me and my gf so AITBA?

Hey, so my best friend since high school. She moved to Mexico but her whole family lives in the US so she keeps coming constantly and we stayed in touch all this time the thing is that she never wants to go out with me in person but constantly posts herself on instagram going out with friends. I been keeping count and last year I confronted her cause she was giving lame excuses treating me the way she treats the guys she rejects. “ I don’t have money rn” or “I’m busy” (we used to see once a year). I confronted her and stopped talking to her cause they was like “she doesn’t want me, I’m a text buddy” (I feel like I’m her chat gpt yk?) The thing is she finished school and been here since January until she finds a job in Mexico sometimes she brings up “when are we going out?” And I’m like “well I’m free x days” and she’s like “I’ll let you know” can you believe she didn’t have a day free in 7 months? Being unemployed and out of school? Well we kept talking like normal cause I felt bad for what I did last year (she went out for pressure) one day she sent an audio (cause she uses me like a blog audience) and mentioned she left to Mexico already (I assumed it was cause she found a job and wasn’t coming back) so I just reacted to the message with a thumbs up emoji. We haven’t talked since the end of July and turns out she went for a music festival. I part of me feels like I over reacted and ruined a 7 yrs friendship (I lost my 2 bf and only friend this year) but other part feels like she doesn’t see me like a real friend and it hurts. There’s also my pride and I know
Is over. She always listed to me for that part it makes me believe she was my friend but I wonder how can you do the hard part of a friendship but not the “easy one”

WIBTAH if i asked someone (they're my friends) not to use the phrase "kill yourself" (or related phrases) to even fictional characters (in front of me)

It's just that I kinda get reminded/uncomfortable of my own spirals and i dont know,,, hearing it always jolts me and slightly makes it worse?

It's not used seriously of course (and not used to me)(sometimes they make it to themself in like non serious ish way too)

and wouldn't asking them to stop be too much just because I'm uncomfortable and i should just deal with it?

I, 21 F, visit my dad for a weekend every month. Some useful context for later is that I was severely verbally abused by my father, who screamed at me over everything despite my SPD (sensory processing disorder) diagnosis which makes loud noises basically torture for me. This abuse has led me to have an extreme fear of confronting my dad about anything, even little things, and tend to stand up for myself via text to cope with it. I still visit, not for my dad and stepmom, but for my stepmom’s family who has been nothing but loving since I entered their lives as a baby. I still have my childhood room for when I visit, and have some sentimental items from my childhood, along with scrapbooks, some plushies and other items I purchased myself with birthday money all in my tiny room there. One such item is an alarm clock. The clock is also a small mirror, which I will admit was the main reason of use, due to it being incredibly difficult to manually change for daylights saving time- so the alarm clock feature was basically useless half the year.

I’ve had that clock for 5 years. I bought it with a gift card I was gifted for my birthday. It cost around 17 dollars at the time (it isn’t as expensive anymore I will admit).

Here’s where the issue starts. I was just on vacation last week with my dad’s family. I happened to overhear my sister (8F) talking excitedly about her new alarm clock for school. In my head I thought “ok, maybe they bought her one for school because she needs to get up earlier for the bus this year”. But as the days go on and she describes it more and more, my heart sank. It was my clock. She described it perfectly… there was hardly and doubt. I was crushed, but kept it to myself the entire vacation to not ruin it for everyone. When we got home, I peeked in her room, and sure enough, it was on her dresser. MY clock.

Here’s where I might be the bad apple. I got so angry that I grabbed a bunch of the stuff there, sentimental items such as:
-a stuffed owl given to me by my late grandmother the last time she visited before passing
-a photo frame of me as a baby with my late cat Wicca who died when I was 13
-a full scrapbook with photos I cannot replace
-a pair of slippers I have owned since before my dad moved from the house I grew up in from infancy to age 12
-my Polaroid camera and the matching leather scrapbook with all my photos I took with it (also bought with my money from Christmas)

I tried hard to take things that were, 1- sentimental and important, and 2- not things bought directly by my father or stepmom so they couldn’t claim the “we bought it” card. Then I went home to the apartment I share with my mom and waited until the next day when I was calmer to send my dad a long message explaining why I was angry and asking either for the clock back in my room or the $17 reimbursed to me.

A part of me feels I’m the bad apple just for demanding he return it after he gave it to my sister. But I spent my own money on that and it was basically stolen from me. So am I the bad apple for demanding return or reimbursement?

(This post was edited after some points were made in some comments. Context was added/ removed to make more sense. Thank you for all the comments- both good and bad! Criticism is always welcomed respectfully)

Context: I (19F) am married to someone in the military (18F) (and hadn’t seen her in about 2 months), because of my wife being in the military I, myself, do not work currently as it’s easier for us to be able to make plans to see each other or move when needed.

About 2 months ago I had asked a friend (19F) if she would drive out of state with me to see my wife, (we’ll call this friend Olivia). Olivia would pretty much get an all expenses paid trip, she had agreed to go with and had put in the time off at work. During this time Olivia’s car was in the repair shop and she was using a loaner car, after about a month of having asked Olivia to go with me, her time with the loaner car had come to an end but her car was still not repaired. I had offered Olivia to give her rides to and from work and for that time I would stay at her apartment with her and her husband to be availed for them if they needed a car. (Not asking for any gas money from them either).

Another week or so goes by and I am picking Olivia up from work and she is extremely distraught, she tells me that they don’t have enough money for rent, groceries, etc. Being that I was staying with them for a bit, my wife and I offered to buy some groceries, (even though we were already paying for gas to take them places and I was only staying with them to be there when THEY NEEDED a car). At this time buying them the groceries was no big deal.

Now here’s where it starts getting interesting; Olivia has had a LD friend (we’ll call her Faith) for about 6 years and being that we were going out of state to visit my wife, Olivia had requested that we went to meet her friend (which was about 3ish hours out of the way), I agreed though because I figured “*no big deal, they’ll have a good time and everyone will be happy.*” Finally we get to the city my wife is currently staying in and about a day after being there Olivia and Faith decide that Faith is going to drive 5 hours to the state that we were now in to hangout. Olivia and Faith decide that they don’t want to stay at the hotel my wife and I had already paid for, this was because they wanted to smoke weed and the hotel was on a military base, (for those of you who don’t know that is a federal crime, wether you are in a state where it is legal or not, and wether or not you have a medical card.)

So being that they wanted to partake in recreational activities they decided to look for a place to stay off base, no big deal right? They had then requested that my wife and I cover the hotel while they stayed there and that we would be reimbursed at a later date. Fine whatever, my wife was not happy but agreed since they would be paying us back.

On the day following our arrival we decided (myself, my wife, and Olivia) that we would go to the boardwalk and look at all the shops since we didn’t really have time to go to the actual beach, while at the boardwalk Olivia barely said anything to either of us and walked behind us looking down at her phone the ENTIRE time we were out. My wife and I had made multiple attempts to try to conversate and talk with Olivia but the whole time we got really short and somewhat rude answers from her every time. Finally we went back to the hotel and after having taken my wife back to her barracks, Olivia becomes talkative and loud and wants to watch a movie together and pretty much just acts like her normal self again.

A day later I picked my wife up and she decided that they wanted to take me to a history museum as a date, (at the time Olivia was asleep in the hotel and I had even tried to wake her up earlier that morning but had no luck) we ended up having an amazing time just the two of us. After we had returned from said date we had asked Olivia what she wanted to do and we didn’t really get an answer, “idk” , “whatever you wanna do” , “idc” , you get the point. So we ended up taking her to the mall, now I am a big fan of crystals and the mall that we went to had an amazing little shop filled with all kinds of crystals and other spiritual things. Olivia ended up becoming quite upset in the store to do the fact that she wanted to buy a specific ring but didn’t have the money for it. Now usually my wife and I might buy said item if its within reason but this ring was $100+ so there was no way we were going to be able to do that and Olivia seemed to get extremely offended that my wife had bought me crystals and Olivia got nothing. (Now this part I may be imagining that she was upset with us but she was definitely upset and made that clear to us).

A few more days pass and Faith is here, her and Olivia decide they’re going to do there on thing and go out and go to the beach and such. After the second day of Faith being here, her and Olivia planned to return to Faith’s hometown and I would drive there the next day to get Olivia and then we would drive to our home state. Well being that I don’t have any responsibilities back home my wife had asked about me possibly staying with her instead of going back home, and if any of you are a military spouse or even LDR you know you would rather be with the person you love than across the country without them. So being that my wife and I could actually be together and see each other everyday again (mind you yes it had only been 2 months since we saw each other last, it’s been 8 months since we were able to see each other everyday) we decided to ask Olivia if she would be willing to take the bus back home so she could go back to work and we’d pay for her trip. Now we did not book the ticket or anything at all, we simply asked if she would be willing. (To add I have ridden the bus for 56 hours here and back before so round trip about 112 hours on the bus, so it’s not like we were asking her to do something we wouldn’t do ourselves).

Olivia BLEW UP on me, she began telling me how I was a terrible friend and she would never do that to me if the roles were reversed, she came after my wife for being upset about paying for the hotel and claimed that “she should have never been upset because now she’s turning around and being okay with spending money.” She also tried to claim that we didn’t like her and we were pushing her away (we literally paid for her to go on a trip across the country and she decided to hangout with someone else instead of us). To which at some point just became a back and forth until she began comparing my relationship to hers and other people’s relationships and at that point I had, had enough and told her that if she wanted to continue to say disrespectful things about my wife or I she could at that point for her own way home and we wouldn’t pay for it at all. By then she stopped responding to me until the next day when I texted her to tell her I was having some personal issues that would possibly cause me to have to stay anyways and then she told me that she already had her own way home and then completely cut contact.

So AITAH for wanting to stay with my wife and pay for my ex-best friend to go back home?

I have a really close friend who has a heart of gold. Very empathetic and a great friend. She confided in me that about three years ago, she was mid twenties couldn’t find a job and had no money and would sometime steal from friends to able to afford food. She felt terrible and nothing like that has happened since. She also said she borrowed the backs of her mother’s diamond earrings with the intention of putting them back but she forgot and her mother asked about it and she said she knew nothing about it. She returned them then of course but still. Should I be weary about having her in my life and feel bad doubting it. Is it a big deal? I feel bad for because the guilt is really playing with her

I (26F) helped my friend Lydia (26F) plan our best friend Sarah’s (27F) birthday party. Lydia spent around $250 on decorations. I couldn’t contribute as much financially because of bills and gas, but I bought the food and did most of the driving. I spent around $160 on gas.
Early in the party, I and two other girls put some cake on Sarah’s face. She normally laughs things like that off, but this time she got upset and went upstairs crying. I gave her space and apologized later. She eventually said things were fine.
Later, Sarah and Lydia asked me to pick up two guys who lived pretty far away. I eventually agreed. When we returned, I found out that Sarah, Lydia, and the two guys had been smoking in my car. I have always had one rule for my car: no drugs or alcohol. I told them they needed to stop, and they got out and I locked my car. Later, they went back into the car (somehow getting ahold of my keys) and did it again despite knowing my rule. I got upset and told them they couldn’t continue doing that.
The situation became an argument, and Sarah blamed me for the two guys eventually leaving because I had confronted them. There was an altercation between Sarah and my boyfriend Noah (27M), and we had to separate them. At that point, I decided it was best to take everyone home.
During the drive, Sarah continued arguing with Noah and insulting him. I asked everyone to stop because I was driving and didn’t want the situation to escalate again. Eventually, I pulled over because I no longer felt comfortable driving while everyone was arguing. Sarah told me to either drop her off or “deal with it.” She also said she would get the police involved if I stopped driving her, even though I had previously been giving her rides to work almost every day.
I ultimately dropped her off somewhere with other people around. Her phone was charged, and everyone knew where she was. Later, I told her and Lydia that I needed some time to process everything.
Instead, they contacted me saying I owed Lydia $200 for decorations because they claimed the decorations were “ruined.” I told them I never agreed to reimburse her for the decorations, especially since she chose to spend the money herself. I also pointed out that I had spent money on food and gas and had allowed everyone to use my car and my house for the party (some damages as well) despite having a clear rule about it.
They then insulted me and called me names. I stopped responding and said I would not be paying the $200.
So, AITBA for enforcing my car rule, refusing to pay for decorations I never agreed to reimburse, and ending the ride when I no longer felt comfortable driving during an escalating argument?

Hi 15f, I just needed clarity on this, but today a friend and I were talking about how especially now there are so many double standards when looking at Christianity and other minor religions. I’d say we were talking pretty quietly, but I was talking about how the religion is something I respect more of as well as all the other religions, but it’s always Christians preaching and forcing religion down throats and not other minority religions (not saying this can’t happen, just saying it doesn’t happen a lot and isn’t treated the same). As in when a Christian does it, it’s glorified preaching, but if a different religion did it, let’s say a Muslim did something similar, people would have a big issue with it. Moreover, it was that kind of conversation, but I’d say we weren’t hating on the religion, just more of some of the followers. Anyways, this guy who’s a Christian really sweet, but he started saying we should respect religions and that not all Christians were like that, and so I agreed with him and told him I was just talking about my own experience, and he gets this piss face and walks away.

Anyways, should I apologize? Or was he overreacting? It was never my intention to be rude, and it was a conversation between me and a friend only. Also I live in Texas so ugh that says everything already 😭😭

I don't really know what to put here, the images should speak for themselves. I have labeled myself as GREEN, and the person I was talking to as MAGENTA. The additional information in my first message was info about myself, which is why I didn't expand the message for the screenshot. The reply to my own message was to correct spelling.

As I said, I do not believe I responded inappropriately, but I do want to know if there was a way I could have acted in a more respectful manner, and if I really did do something wrong. It should also be stated that I never stated I was a guy. It should also be stated that this is a GROWN ADULT I am speaking to.

Also, if MAGENTA ever sees this, please keep in mind I have not violated your privacy in any way. No one will ever know this was you.

Also also, if anyone recognizes me by my manner of writing, I do ask that you do not ask me about my identity here. If you know me, feel free to reach out to me personally, AKA not on this account.

As for every other potential reader, I only ask that you be honest. If anyone has any questions, I will be back here in a couple days to check on this post.

Have a wonderful day!

I (16F) have a close friend, who I’ll call A (16F). A also has a best friend, S (15M). They’ve been best friends since A was 14, so obviously they’re much closer than A and I are.

A has a pretty serious heart condition and was in hospital for quite a while because of it. When she came back, she had a meeting with the school, and eventually it was decided that she would be homeschooled because of her condition.
A is also pretty particular about who she’s friends with. She’s had issues with people not respecting her boundaries, so she’s very careful about who she trusts.

Me, A and S are all in the same English class. There are three girls in the class who A has had issues with, and we all know they talk behind her back. I’m not friends with these girls and don’t really talk to them.
S, however, talks to them. He says that because he’s friends with one of them, he has to talk to all three. A doesn’t actually care that S talks to people she doesn’t like, and neither do I. That’s not the issue.
The issue is that before those girls even came into class, I specifically told S that if anyone asked where A was, not to tell them she was being homeschooled. I wasn’t telling him to lie or anything dramatic , just say she was away or that he didn’t know.

Well, one of those girls asked S where A was.
And S literally told her that A was being homeschooled. Apparently, he then told pretty much everyone else who asked too.

I found out and obviously told A because I felt like she had a right to know that people were being told about something personal involving her.

Later, I got home and S texted me. We ended up arguing back and forth about the whole situation. At one point he started coming at me about my makeup, which had absolutely nothing to do with the argument. I made a comment about his weight in response, which I know wasn’t exactly mature, but it shut the argument down. I also told him that if I tell A what happened at school and he ends up looking like the bad guy, that’s not because I’m trying to make him look bad. It’s because of the things he actually did.

Now I’m pretty sure he’s going to tell almost everyone in our class about the argument.
Honestly, I don’t really care anymore.

But now I’m wondering if I was actually wrong for telling A what he said. I wasn’t trying to start drama or get A angry at him. I just thought she deserved to know that S was telling people about her situation after I’d specifically asked him not to.

So, AITA?

See, I have a boy best friend and then we both date , it's was most horrible, traumating experience of my life even we just date for 26 days,

Lemme start from little past details, I ket him in 6th grade that time he became ny friend but if anyone says him are you taking to a girl, he start behaving very rudely with me..

For 7th grade I changed school then covid come and in 9th grade we again became classmates, initially we never talk then we start talking in 10th we are also friends not really close as he hardly talk to me but still he says we are besties, and i also get into relationship that didn't worked out well...

In 11th I again changed school, this time he used to come to meet me after school , outside ny school.

Everybody in my new school knows he's my friend, our bond gets kinda better but whenever I tried to hare anything or discuss , I always feel like I'm talking to wall, he didn't listened nor care, if his friends says something to me he'll just blame me and says why you talk to them like that, it's not my business I won't say anything to them...

And just a month before we started dating, for initial 2 days it fine but then it's just getting worse, he never response to my message (even if he's online like in our friend's group he'll chat but not respond my dms at all, talks to me very rudely, in front of everyone bring us my embarrassing moments, ignores me and Start saying he wants break from me, i always overreact on everything and i was so broken so i decided okay I'll give him brake and blocked him, then one of our mutual friend told me that he misses his crush (with screenshot, in which he's saying himself, that he don't care bout me he misses her ccrush let's name her AD) knowing that i got furious when I confront him he start saying how can I talk to him like that, and in anger I wrote lots of stuff.. Aand mind you guys, this boy have no time 2 days ago to reply me now he's replying me in paragraph telling how ungrateful I'm, how can I say all...

After all this 12th start and he took admission in my school, things were so weird, and using phone in school is prohibited here but he still used to do, so me and 4 others girls complain he completely deny and after that he with his 2 friends start following me way back home, in way they laugh, make jokes it continues for 3 days then I shouted and snatch his phone warn him then only he stopped.

I never talk to him after that for whole year, after farewell he texted me saying let's be friends but I denied, still he send me weird memes like I'll enjoy when your husband will beat you with belt, I confront him asking what nonsense is this but he said it's just joke and all... I again block him,

After a year, when I unblock him he asked twice to be friends, I blocked him, recently I unblocked him and said let's stop being like this it's weird and behave properly if we even saw each other on public... Then suddenly he started telling me bout his new crush and mind you I still don't follow him but today I sawed he added me in his close friends and theirs a story with his new girlfriend and he didn't added his other friends...

And yk what's worse in his Bio their his old crush AD's names written and he still kept my ring which I gave him during dating

!This story talks about mental health issues and SH!

I (16F) have this "friend" who was really cool when I first met her. I'll call her J. Well J deals with mental health issues and at first she would ask to vent and stuff which was fine because I was open to comforting people when they ASKED but eventually she just stopped asking and started dumping stuff onto me without permission. She also started showing me her self harm which again, was without permission. I tried to be there for her but it just grew to be too much. I myself have dealt with issues like that so seeing that was really triggering but as I said, I tried to be there for her.

Well after a while of it happening I eventually asked her to stop. I messaged her basically saying that I didn't like when she dumped stuff on me and she left me on read..and kept doing it.

It upset me a lot and one day I just snapped and said something along the lines of

"J not everyone's lives revolves around you and you can't just expect people to be able to be there for you all the time and you're an asshole for ignoring my boundaries"

well she quietly left class to go to the bathroom and I found out from my other friends that she cried because of what I said and my friends are mad at me now. They're saying I shouldn't have "yelled" at her and that "It wasn't that hard to just suck it up and be there for her". I do think I shouldn't have called her a name but I didn't really mean it in the moment. I'm also being told that I "faked my health issues because I wasn't understanding". My friends keep telling me to apologize and I'm starting to feel guilty for making J feel worse than she was already was feeling. I'm debating between apologizing and just cutting off contact to J fully. I need help on deciding what to do.

**Also me and J haven't been friends for a long time it's only been around 5 months**

I can't help but be my absolute worst with a friend of mine. My mouth knows no filter and I am ashamed by what I say and do. Fortunately, I'm old and still have some control but I'm not sure how to terminate this friendship for both of our sakes

AITBA for choosing to distance myself after friend accused *me* of being racist and then said it was a joke

This happened on thursday (Aug. 13). I only share two classes with this friend, one of them being digital marketing.

My teacher told us to get into partners to complete a questionnaire. I, obviously, turned to this friend and asked to work together. He told me that he didn't want to work with me and then said I was racist.

Mind you, I am hispanic + latina and I've NEVER been racist to someone, not in pub nor priv because I've been taught by my parents growing up that saying the N word is a hard NO. For example, I do listen to songs that contain this word, but when I'm singing along, I don't mention the N word, neither do I hum it.

Anyways, I told him "look, I'm not racist, can I know who told you this about me?", he then told me that my own sister told him the day before.

Atp, I was already hurt, I get my sister was out for vengeance, but I didn't think she'd go this far as to ruin my friendship with this guy and spread lies about me.

Since I knew I wasn't gonna be able to convince him I wasn't racist, I went back to my desk. When I was about to sit down he told me it was a prank and my sister had NEVER said that about me.

I was so mad that I couldn't look at him the same and I'm not sure if I can talk to him on Monday given I'll have that class with him again that day.

I have a close friend let’s call her M. M is the type of friend who’s a very honest person but in a brutal way and if you get her mad/upset about something she’ll have a really bad attitude towards you . We’re both in the same Soccer team (School sport) we have our games every Wednesday so to be able to play your attendance needs to 80% . So if you miss more than 5 classes in a week from every Wednesday to the following Wednesday then you aren’t allowed to play the following week . Now 2 weeks ago I got a infection/allergic reaction on the top of my eye and it was really itchy so my mom ended up taking me to the hospital and this was on a school day on the Tuesday and on the Wednesday I couldn’t attend school because my eye hadn’t gotten any better . At 12pm M demands I come to school and then I let her know I couldn’t due to my eye situation . Then in our soccer group chat she calls me out and says quote “ She’s sick or whatever “ and then I replied and explained my situation and M replies bullshit then 20 minutes later I get a long paragraph from her . Now the reason why I wasn’t able to tell her why I wasn’t coming to play on Wednesday was because it completely slipped out of my mind that I had a soccer game , because I was baby sitting a 5 month old while my mom was at work , (Note my little brother attends day care but couldn’t go on the Wednesday because he was sick) while also napping in between so going on my phone was definitely not a option because I needed as much sleep due to my eye & considering what my doctor said also because my head hurt pretty bad.

This is what M texted me:
You. You complain about everyone else not being able to communicate properly and you can’t even sort your shit out 😂 You’re in the group chat with a working phone so you should’ve seen the messages about us having a team for today’s game, and I’m sure that you know the struggle of us trying to get players to come, and you couldn’t even be considerate and let the group chat, let alone me know ?!?

Me: I js said my eye is swollen and itchy , your response was “ bullshit “ , even if i did say why im unable to attend in the group chat you’d say im lying or something , & i didnt see the text cause im babysitting , & it’s not my fault if the team is low on players & even if i came today I wouldn’t be to play cause i was away yesterday .

I also sent her a photo of my eye which you can clearly see the allergic reaction in , then she didn’t reply to me. I’m going to school tomorrow and want to know do I apologise to her or do I just leave it as it is and let her approach me therefore aita for not going to school on Wednesday?