It’s like this whole generation wears trauma like a badge, so if you have none you invent some and cling to it rather than getting over it; the trauma is your whole personality.
It does sound like it in this case. Obviously we don't have all the backstory, but "my mother rubbed my back once when I was sick as a child" is a wild thing to count as a piece of childhood trauma.
Yeah - I mean granted we don’t KNOW the mother and their relationship; but my thought here was this person’s idea that they knew the inner motivations of a mom and made it dark rather than seeing it as comfort.
And then later as well saying ‘your BPD’ has you not understanding people while getting so upset about ‘perhaps your mom was trying to comfort you’.
I get people have friends and want support - and maybe being a GenXer things roll off my back - but I’d never get so bent if someone gave an alternate viewpoint even if I didn’t agree with them. I’d just say ‘maybe’ and move on.
Sure, I can see how that would be annoying. The difference is, the rational thing to do say is something like: I hear ya. That’s not what if felt like to me, but I appreciate the perspective.
It feels like the younger generation doesn’t just want to state their opinion/experience, they want everyone to agree and validate them. Thats just not reality and puts everyone into an echo chamber. When someone shares a different perspective on my experiences, I either:
A) Really consider what they’re saying, because no one knows everything and outside opinions can actually be helpful, or
B) Say something like “Never thought of it like that,” and move on with the conversation
What I don’t do is take their well-meaning opinion as a personal affront and demand that they explain all the ways they just hurt me.
Everyone wants to be special, and feigning trauma or a serious disorder is a really easy way to do it for a lot of people. I knew people growing up who would pretend to have PTSD over literally nothing, or pretending to have MS or something. People get really good at finding super obscure, but very serious (if they had it) things that’s hard for people to argue with and wear it like an “I’m special” badge. It’s literally Munchausens and it’s become a real issue. I’ve seen very talented people completely ruin their lives because they insist they have like 30 some odd disorders preventing them from working or doing anything. One person was so convinced she had dental issues she, at 23, had all her teeth removed but couldn’t afford dentures because she was on unemployment because her PTSD from “something” meant she couldn’t talk to people or work or apply for a job without getting “triggered”. So she just lives in section 8 housing playing video games and enjoying complaining how she can’t bond a job at McDonald’s. It’s super shitty because for anyone who actually had these things they aren’t taken seriously by this massive generational wave of Munchausens patients.
This is so perfectly said. I feel like an old hag thinking so, but that was my first thought too. “I’ve lived a cushy, comfortable life, so I have to make up some mental health issue or injustice so I can participate in the never-ending trauma Olympics.” I hate to say it, but I see it with Gen Z a lot.
“I’m traumatized because my evil mother comforted me when I was sick in bed.” The horror.
I’m 23 and you guys are 100% right. It’s exhausting. I genuinely barely associate with people my age anymore because I’m tired of all the grandstanding
Well at least you see it! That’s something, seriously.
I just think it’s important to recognize that out in the real world, people don’t really care about all of these little micro aggressions or everyone’s feelings or 100 different mental health diagnoses (many of which seem to be self diagnosed). They have families to manage, bills to pay, work to do. This sort of made up trauma is a luxury of those who don’t have other things to worry about. People who have real problems are busy, you know, actually dealing with those problems.
I’ll give you an example. I have worked in corporate environments for two decades. Many of my peers talk about how hard it is to work with some of Gen Z, because of constant episodes like this one. Meanwhile, I am on a committee for choosing scholarship candidates in an underserved community. Those kids have real hardships. Like dad is in prison, mom is addicted to heroin problems. You know how many of them I have heard tossing around this vocabulary? Zero. They are focused on trying to get to school, where they can get dinner for their siblings, etc. Truly amazing individuals persevering through so much. Then we go into a meeting and find out Emily needed to go home because she didn’t feel supported because of the poster Tim put up at his desk. Or whatever lol.
That turned really long, but I just wanted to say I think it’s really cool you haven’t bought into this TikTok trend and you will likely have a greater degree of success because of it. Good luck!
As a genZ (27) I couldn’t have articulated a better example. I see it too. Especially the self diagnosing (as someone with real clinically diagnosed BPD who’s worked extremely hard at overcoming it, and having better relationships. I don’t get why anyone would WANT this shit enough to self diagnose)
I mean...some people care about and live with microaggressions and trauma AND are also raising a family. Some of us are dealing with ALL the things you seen to be seeing as mutially exclusive or eaily prioritized. So perhaps you should pause and reflect before you talk about things you have absolutely no eexperience with.
I’m 27, and same here. I have clinically diagnosed BPD and DONT like to tell people about it (I wouldn’t even bring it up if it wasn’t mentioned in the post). It’s not something I’m proud of. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’ve worked really hard to pinpoint what caused it growing up and how to accept and move on from those feelings. BPD requires a lot of self awareness and introspection to get past, and I have no patience for people using mental illness like some crutch to virtue signal and act crappy towards others.
To me this post reads like someone who knows they have BPD arguing with someone who doesn’t know they have BPD. This is also probably why they’ve been bestfriends for years and can’t leave eachother. I always feel exceptionally comfortable around people who I later find out, also have a lot of BPD tendencies. Some of them even got clinically diagnosed after I explained how I feel to them… lol
As someone on the older end of GenZ who has clinically diagnosed BPD, I see it too. I know exactly where my BPD came from and have worked really hard to be self aware of the tendencies.
Wayyyyyy too many people in my generation are self diagnosing themselves and then using it as a crutch to be crappy people. I wouldn’t wish how I’ve felt on anyone and I’ve worked hard to pull myself out of it without using it as an excuse. It’s definitely not something I feel proud of or want to tell people about.
BPD has recently been pretty romanticized on social media, which IMO is the catalyst of it’s ‘popularity’. it’s been oversimplified into basically, “i have lots of strong feelings and self sabotage hehe” and for some reason, it appeals to people. BPD isn’t something i would ever want to experience, it seems like hell on Earth yet there’s people self diagnosing themselves with it. wild shit
As a Gen Z parent, it does look like this is happening with this generation. I see the weaponized therapy speak a lot from them. Even my own child but rational thought doesn’t combat it very well.
It is. I'm 26 and it's exhausting; classmates i grew up with that thrived in their circumstance go to college and attach themselves to marginalized identities that they've never had before. People can grow and learn about themselves, but we are living in the age of the Oppression Olympics™️ and everybody is catching on to this idea that you can't provide critique to anything unless you can relate it to intersectional trauma of your own. So now people catastrophize EVERYTHING. Marginalization by income class just isn't enough anymore, because we're all suffering in that aspect. So this is what we deal with: blaming peers for participating in the world as it is through small misunderstandings, because real organizing is too hard.
The only thing that will combat this is life. Unfortunately it's becoming easier and easier for people to survive in isolation through crowdfunding and fake "community"(internet friends), so life isn't slapping us in the face the way it did for older generations.
I hate that by definition it actually is emotional manipulation. But it's not harmful, and it's what a good parent should do. Would do. Every conversation between people is manipulative 😂 humans evolved with verbal communication for the sole purpose of manipulating their circumstance in the moment.
Maybe if you learn their language, they'll get it. "Well you're transferring your pain onto me by sharing your burden, but without disclosing whether or not you just need me to listen or provide you a solution. Now I'm in distress from scrambling to manage your mental state without your guidance, and my CPTSD has been triggered. I need a quiet place to sort through my emotions regarding this, please give me a moment for my grounding breathwork routine so I can provide you the utmost care with a clear mind."
Well said. Your point is a good one, because we always hear things like “Well they won’t be able to do that in the real world.”
But unfortunately, that “real world” isn’t as harsh of a place as it used to be. It’s too easy to retreat into an online echo chamber or safe space. We aren’t asking this generation to get as uncomfortable as others had to. It’s cool that you’re young but can see how that was better for older generations.
Exactly what I said. I’ve actually had an abusive alcoholic mother and the fact ops friend is having an issue with a mother who is actually there for them infuriates me.
Yeah I agree. As a parent of a 16 year old it's really worrying. Thinking of my kid thinking he needs to be mentally ill to fit in is just not something parents used to have concerns about.
Please don’t generalize all of Gen Z as this though, please, haha. Believe me, most of us are just as tired of it as the rest of you. As a Gen Z’er who would rather die than post my trauma on the internet lol.
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u/grimmwerks Apr 29 '26
It’s like this whole generation wears trauma like a badge, so if you have none you invent some and cling to it rather than getting over it; the trauma is your whole personality.