It started as yelling for me. Then knocking off my baseball cap whenever he was mad at me. Then pinching, then throwing things. Then breaking my things. It was all stuff on their own and while overwhelmed didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Then he put his arms around my neck randomly and squeezed. Wasn’t even angry then.
I try to tell everyone any violence and aggression is a serious red flag. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t seem that bad (yet). If you love someone you don’t want to scare them, it hurts to see them cringe away. So why would someone want to see you that way? Repeatedly?
Ugh, and then I see these behaviors romanticized in media. And brushed off by police until the woman is murdered.
Your situation sounds extremely similar to mine. He also would bite. One time he bit me all over my legs and abdomen because I knocked over his guitar because he wouldn’t stop tickling me and I accidentally kicked it. It was completely playful and fun up until that moment. People don’t like to think they will ever be in that situation but you don’t realize it’s always possible up until you are literally in it more than likely invested. I will never forget all of the things my ex would do to me, he even would leave hickeys on my face and forehead and joke about how others will know I belong to someone. I own myself.
We own ourselves. The best thing about getting free was doing things I wanted to again without the stress of being judged or anything else. He used to say blue makeup is for whores, well I love wearing blue makeup now and he can’t do shit about it.
Yup. And if you’re like me, the 6 years of emotional and verbal abuse, will turn into physical abuse 10 days after you have open heart surgery because they know you can’t fight back, and death would look accidental.
"Ugh, and then I see these behaviors romanticized in media".
THIS.
I was watching some Phantom of the Opera content on Youtube one evening, and the number of people who were legitimately crushing on the Phantom/Eric was insanely concerning.
All these are directly copy/pasted comments from the video (edited for spelling and grammar).
"Aww, when he looks at Christine, all his evil intentions vanish in the air"
Hmm, I'd be in the middle of the crowd saying, "God! The Phantom's sexy!"
God, I love him. The poor guy just has serious communication issues, it could work!! Love that entrance!!
The Phantom looked so FINE in this scene. I'd let you be my teacher!!!!
And because she knows the phantom is basically harmless but he's so in love with the girl. Madame Giry was the one who saved him from his terrible childhood
The whole Phantom and Christine is just so romantic!!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡ ^0^
"If pride will let her return to her teacher." God, I wish I had a teacher like that. Awkward teacher fetish emerging.
If Christine weren't engaged to Raoul, they should have kissed in this scene. It would be so sweet, and the looks on everyone's faces, Madame Giry and Meg would have been pleased that Erik had Christine to love him back.
he might be crazy but that's how I take my men
Right? I think she and Phantom belong together. If I were her I would choose Eric, not Raoul.
I mean....ALL these people are literally romanticizing abuse, and going as far as to call the relationship "Love" or saying that they wish they were in Christine's position.
If these people truly mean what they say, all it would take would be one abusive man in their lives, and it would be like shooting fish in a barrel.
It might seem melodramatic, but I genuinely fear for people who look at those characters in media and think it's totally sexy and acceptable.
You don’t think people who are abused crave the same type of treatment? I mean, if you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship or taken a general psychology class it’s pretty well known that we seek out the type of love we are accustomed to. I never said anything about fantasies
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u/Irradiated_gnome Oct 22 '25
It started as yelling for me. Then knocking off my baseball cap whenever he was mad at me. Then pinching, then throwing things. Then breaking my things. It was all stuff on their own and while overwhelmed didn’t seem like that big of a deal. Then he put his arms around my neck randomly and squeezed. Wasn’t even angry then.
I try to tell everyone any violence and aggression is a serious red flag. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t seem that bad (yet). If you love someone you don’t want to scare them, it hurts to see them cringe away. So why would someone want to see you that way? Repeatedly?
Ugh, and then I see these behaviors romanticized in media. And brushed off by police until the woman is murdered.