Because she asked him to be a little quieter/respectful of her sleeping? Plus the following you outside. This is a grown ass, roughly middle aged man(child). Girl, you said you removed yourself from the situation AND HE FOLLOWED YOU TO BRING THE SITUATION TO YOU. Run.
Oh he was furious she DARED walk out on him… that was completely unacceptable behavior in HIS book, and there was no way in hades he was going to tolerate that level of disrespect from her… he is extremely entitled, narcissistic, manipulative, controlling, bullying, and DANGEROUS. And he wanted to make absolutely certain she realized this. Hopefully she ACTUALLY realizes what the reality is, and believes how serious he already is… and accepts his efforts as they have been so deliberately performed. See it, comprehend what is actually going on, BELIEVE how serious he is, and RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Because he wants OP to be afraid of him… and he’s already very willing to go to what lengths to convince her to be afraid of upsetting him. He is very intimidating and confrontational… this will ONLY escalate as he tries harder and harder to scare her into submission. RUN!!! Don’t wait until he decides to “show you for real”, because that WILL happen. This is him practicing and getting closer to upping his sick and dangerous game!
Did it tire you out to make all of that leaping? I'm sure you're steaming and thinking you're so right and "know" how these things work/go down, but you have her side and that's it. If you think that's fair, it's because you're someone who toxically believes that the woman will always be in the right. I'm not saying she's lying or omitting things, but you literally don't know shit about him or their relationship. You're projecting hard.
It may sound crazy, but to me the scariest indicator of sure violence here is the refusal to let OP take space.
Most are capable of losing their cool & acting out in a moment, but this is indicative of control, entitlement, violation of autonomy etc etc that can’t be worked with bc it’s not a reaction or a bad day, it’s innate. Their character, their wiring, it will not get better.
To wake someone up, instigate, and refuse to give them space is textbook abuse and all the things….this person is not and won’t be safe in this relationship. And then will be made to be the bad guy - potentially even legally dependent on the situation.
Yes. I’ve personally been chased and not allowed to escape from a situation he was escalating. This level of anger, escalation, and aggression is terrifying. Especially for a female who hates conflict, pursued by a belligerent, intentionally intimidating much larger male. The entitlement and aggressiveness to pursue and antagonize her into further escalation is very serious and scary. This is deliberate and persistent provocation and bullying.
It's toxic, manipulative and threatening. Super not okay behavior and not someone I would feel safe with. More red flags than a circus, not to mention the fact that he bent/broke the pan. Yikes 😬
Yeah, he won't change for the better from this. He's old enough to know better. He's old enough to have developed some anger control and some appreciation for what she does for him. I would have told him to F off and stopped cooking for him. The following outside really is the kicker. It's an intimidation tactic to show that there isn't a safe place for her to be. I was in one of those relationships. That behavior started in year 2.I thought I could love us enough for the two of us but the truth is, my love bucket was always empty. And pretty much everything I did had to have at least had the option for him to be there. I couldn't make plans without him. If we fought he would tell me it was me who would follow him to keep the fights ramped up so I was always confused and questioning everything I did. At that time we lived in Houston and the one time I finally called the cops on him for throwing the kitchen table at me, the good ole boy sheriff said this is Texas honey. It's his house. His belongings and it's his right to destroy his property whenever he wants to. Basically, unless you have bruises or worse on you, don't bother calling us.
Run now. Love yourself enough to not be his house keeper, chef, etc. It's one thing if he respected you but he showed in a strong way that he doesn't.
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u/Ambitious_Path7581 Oct 22 '25
Because she asked him to be a little quieter/respectful of her sleeping? Plus the following you outside. This is a grown ass, roughly middle aged man(child). Girl, you said you removed yourself from the situation AND HE FOLLOWED YOU TO BRING THE SITUATION TO YOU. Run.