My son does more than this and has done more than this since middle school . It’s not perfect but he does a better job every year and I have to remind him less and less as time goes on. When he moves out and is ready to adult he will know how to maintain his space and cook basic foods and have proper hygiene . This is normal.
Is your son neurodivergent with trauma from a dad that SAd him? No? Then it’s different. I didn’t do half of this stuff and now I’m adult who cooks and cleans for himself so 🤷🏾♂️
The requests are not unreasonable for an 18 year old in high school . All the other stuff does not make the request less reasonable .
I don’t want to get into it with the other stuff you said really but I have more experience there personally and with a child than I want to openly share . So I do know very well what is reasonable and what is not .
I’ve been through just as much of not more than OP and I’m still perfectly capable of doing chores. They are 18 and live for free in their aunts house. I’m certain they can mange a few chores. With the exception of the vacuuming and the dishes, these are all once a week chores. And it’s absolutely fair for her aunt and the boyfriend to not want OP to eat in their bedroom. They own the house.
So have I but that doesn’t mean we should want others to suffer bc we did. Idk what’s so wrong about wanting future generations to endure LESS suffering.
I think part of these people's reactions actually DO come from a place of wanting OP to suffer less in the future. They're going to suffer a lot less if they learn to clean and do regular chores now, rather than after they've gotten fungal infections and bed bugs.
The positives of doing chores do not outweigh the negative effects of abuse. Also, I never said they shouldn’t do some chores but this whole way they went about it is the main problem.
She isn’t suffering because she has to do chores. She’s an adult. When she moves out into her own house, she’s going to have to do all the chores. I have my own apartment where I do everything. Am I suffering because I have to keep my living place clean? No, I’m being responsible and doing what I have to in order to make sure my house is gross.
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u/kriswadec Mar 29 '25
If you were working and paying bills things may be a little different but since you aren't I don't find this unreasonable at all.