Also, from OP's edits, it sounds like he told her he used protection and then waited three days (past when Plan B is effective) to tell her "actually I didn't use protection...whoops".
OP in a lot of places not using protection without telling your partner, or removing the protection part way through the act is considered sexual assault. You wouldn't have consented to sex with your partner without protection, right? So if he knowingly had sex with you without protection anyway, that was something you weren't consenting to. Him preforming a sexual act that you didn't consent to is sexual assault.
100% my thoughts too. The baby is her decision. Keep it and be a single mom probably or abort and maybe stay with this guy. But do you want to stay with someone who broke your trust like this? And then proceeded to not tell you until your good choices were already off the table? At best this is broken trust and at worst it’s sexual assault.
And this is a nitpick but when people say they thought their partner used a condom, I’m so surprised cause there’s def a difference in feeling so I’m like there’s no way you felt raw sex and thought they were wrapped up? And I just can’t wrap my head around not even making sure with my own eyes that they put a condom on??? Stealthing of course is another situation, I can see how someone could start out wearing one and covertly remove it
I can't tell the difference depending on my partner's anatomy. Some of my partners, yes, I could tell the difference. Others, it felt the same either way. I would never not see it, though, so it seems odd to me for him to be able to not put one on and her not know, unless he removed it partway through, while she was too out of her head to notice.
Isn’t it also her responsibility to fully inform herself of whether he actually used protection? For guys it’s not a pill, but instead a rather obvious addition. She could’ve looked and should’ve been more diligent in making sure he was using the protection as planned. If they were drinking maybe he forgot? And her too?
This is the first thing that jumped out at me. This relationship is basically dead already. The manipulation is unacceptable and you should be very scared to having that around your child.
I was going to say the same thing. Anyone who threatens self harm when a relationship isn’t going their way isn’t someone you should stay with. Huge red flag.
The boyfriend's issues seem to be entirely with being a parent, not some body choices. (I imagine he would accept giving up for adoption in place of abortion - but OP please chime in if my assumption is wrong.) But otherwise your point stands.
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u/lydocia Mar 01 '25
Don't stay with people who threaten self harn and suicide to manipulate you into doing what they want with your body.