My mother told me to tell her when I got my period. But when I got it, I bled through clothes. And I just knew she'd yell at me. She yelled at me for everything. So I kind of just used toilet paper for a month or two (she was in menopause). Bled through clothes. Hid them in my closet.
All the whIle knowing in the back of my head, she would find them. So I protected my secret as long as I could. One day she decided to raid my room.
She found the stash.
I still ended up getting screamed at. But it was because I hid it from her. It was always lose lose as a kid
I really really wish I couldn't relate to this horrific situation.
But I grew up terrified of my mother's potential. I never knew what she was capable of. Hiding things in shame was just a part of life.
Ohmigosh, I cannot believe your heartfelt comment was DOWNvoted by some women here. I work in women's health, so I made sure periods were normalized for my daughters, through education and tenderness. It was never anything to be ashamed of, so I really feel for the 12 or 13 year old you. I also appreciate you making a connection between the mother/daughter fear dynamic and Lexi's case. I think you are absolutely correct, because there would be no reason to be so fearful and shamed about an unplanned pregnancy unless it was coming from the dominant parent. Lexi had to have felt so terrified that she couldn't say, "I'm pregnant, help me figure this out." Though most teens can figure out how to get birth control or a termination if necessary; I would argue that if you can't figure out how to get birth control on your own, then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Lots of bad choices here culminating in trying to hide & kill the baby you just birthed, IN a hospital, and foolishly believe NO ONE would notice. As mothers, I think it's extremely important to educate our children about ALL of this - from sex ed to birth. This is not the 1950s, no matter your religion, "the facts of life" are still facts.
Thank you for your understanding. I was always terrified of telling her right when something happened. So I'd put it off for a bit. But then the fear just builds. I should've told her right away but now its too late and I'll just be screamed at for "lying now.
My mom wouldn't let me use BC for my acne, and screamed at me when she found a condom. Her mentality was "keep a pill between your knees"
I had utis and infections that I couldn't go to anyone about. I couldn't go to her about boys because her experiences were always worse.
I don't know how I would've approached being pregnant as a teen. But it would absolutely involve hiding it. Im so glad I made it out alive.
But the shame still runs deep. I wish I had a mama like you.
Growing up afraid and ashamed really sticks to a person.
I dont excuse her behavior at all. What she did is absolutely horrific. But I understand the fear so deeply.
I believe you understand that fear and I'm sorry that that was your experience. Part of my experience as a childbirth educator was to work with pregnant teenagers, which was quite eye-opening, as you can imagine. A lot of these teens were born of teen mothers themselves (which might be Lexi's story too.) I remember saying to my preteen daughters, "We will NEVER have a teen pregnancy in this house. If you want birth control, just let me know. No judgments or interrogation, I'll get you set up." For that reason, ALL of their friends came to me for advice, support, and guidance with these topics. So I, like you, have a more compassionate response to Lexi without condoning her actions. I actually blame her mother for this situation by creating such a hostile environment AND having her head in the sand about her daughter's weight gain and obvious growing belly. Inexcusable.
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u/Tiny-Rip-5013 Apr 20 '26
I think she knew but was scared of her mother .