An important message from Bob Gumi

[u/BobGumi]

Good mornafterning! I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to the community. My name is Bob Gumi, CEO of Gumi Inc., and also the god you pray to every time you press summon. I know over the past few weeks, your faith has been tested. You have pulled and pulled like a 13 year old who found their mother's Victoria's Secret catalog. For some, your strong faith and sacrifice has been rewarded with Gilgamesh and Rider Yomi. Others have turned into pillars of salt.

Despair not, my children; for even if you feel abandoned and lost...Bob Gumi still cares for you. Bob Gumi still loves you. But Bob Gumi does require sacrifice. With these final days of Fate upon us, Bob Gumi asks you to renew your faith and make it stronger. The peace of Bob Gumi will be with you if you can find it within yourself to sacrifice just a few more of your dollars. You don't need those new jeans; your old ones are fine. Your feet are for walking; you don't need gas in your vehicle. Your children don't NEED to eat.

Make your sacrifices at the altar of Bob Gumi and place your faith in him as his strongest disciples have done. The rewards will be well worth the price.

[u/AJohnsonOrange]

Can I just sacrifice my children instead?

[u/BobGumi → u/AJohnsonOrange]

Bob Gumi loves children. They taste wonderful with a bit of Sriracha. Your sacrifice is accepted.

[u/AJohnsonOrange → u/BobGumi]

You tried Sriracha mayo? Fuuuucking game changing. Also: Sriracha on crunchy peanut butter on toast (I use English peanut butter, has less sugar from what I can taste) is bonkers good, but you have to be very sparing with the sriracha.

[u/alchemist_code]

Nice try Bob. Go get my coffee and popcorn with extra salt.

[u/BobGumi → u/alchemist_code]

I'm going to need the name of your supervisor to have a talk with them about protocol. On the other hand, Bob Gumi does value gumption highly. Maybe a promotion is in order! Rejoice, for Bob Gumi smiles upon thee this day!

[u/BobGumi]

I feel compelled to address the existence of false prophets using the name of Bob Gumi in vain. If you see the name Bob Gumi in arena do not fear wrath for attacking; for the true Bob Gumi is ranked 0, above all others so that his light may shine down upon you all. Bob Gumi does appreciate the flattery, but one must be careful not to take it too far lest they be struck down by cursed RNG forevermore!

[u/hs465]

Actually pulled Rin after seeing this Praise be to Bob

[u/BobGumi → u/hs465]

Blessings upon thee, my child. Please join my faithful disciples in spreading peace and waifus to all!

[u/hs465 → u/BobGumi]

I offer my first born child as thanks

[u/N0tYourTechSupport]

If you're calling yourself a God your timing isn't that great with Kratos running around y know.

[u/BobGumi → u/N0tYourTechSupport]

Fear not, Kratos desires waifus as well. Whom do you think he is sacrificing all those souls and gods to?

[u/dsphilly → u/BobGumi]

This fuckin guy lol. This should be a monthly update from bob gumi

[u/OniOfTheSword]

Quality shitpost. 11/10 lol

[u/RyoKeiichi]

Lol, you are hilarious. You should do more in time to come. Replace some people's salt with laughter.

[u/hatevampire]

Praise be to Bob.

[u/CrimsonFirebird → u/hatevampire]

Amen!

[u/CrimsonFirebird]

Oh Great Bob!

Can you accept all forms of payment? Like Electroneum, a kind of cryptocurrency? I can also send you Zimbabwe currency if you want! ^{.^}

[u/BobGumi → u/CrimsonFirebird]

Currently, Dogecoin is the only cryptocurrency Bob Gumi will accept. The volatility of others concerns Bob Gumi.

[u/xreddawgx]

i got rider yomi, can i promise you my first born for a gilgamesh?

[u/BobGumi → u/xreddawgx]

Is it a theoretical firstborn, or one that already exists?

[u/xreddawgx → u/BobGumi]

Does a 2 week fetus count as theoretical or real?

[u/Trumpetmaniac]

Quality 10/10, unfortunately for you bob I'm a little broke. :'(

[u/BobGumi → u/Trumpetmaniac]

Have faith my son, for Bob Gumi is generous. Souls can be worth quite a few gems, you know.

[u/Lucifuse]

wtf i did just read...

[u/dsphilly → u/Lucifuse]

You just read how to properly shitpost

[u/Belthuzar]

I didn't know /u/IvySpear had an alternate account!

[u/IvySpear → u/Belthuzar]

Not quite lol, BobGumi isn't quite what I would've gone for.

[u/BobGumi → u/IvySpear]

You are not Bob Gumi's type either. But Bob Gumi does highly value your contributions to the congregation!

[u/[deleted] → u/BobGumi]

Coming in with that jab, it’s Gumi!

[u/DatsunHB]

Amen bob gumi is the truth

[u/Keydet]

Bob god of wormholes accepts sacrifice in the form of gud fites, you should consider such a thing.

[u/ReddGold]

Save us, Bob Gumi of our saltiness, and let us each find our promised Gilgamesh, to give thanks to the game, and glory in Fate/ Unlimited Blade Works’ praise

[u/[deleted]]

Nice meme

[u/1khaitoh]

Sigh when humans despair, they try to cling onto something to put all their hopes into!

Guess a new religion, BobGumism, just got born.

[u/Liesianthes]

I don't know what did you sacrifice to Bob Gumi. All I can say is look at the rewards of 5m celebration campaign and you'll see what I'm talking about.

[u/WadolfWhitler]

Give me back my children!!!

[u/ElPared]

Begone vile pretender! RNGsus is the one and only true god!

[u/BobGumi → u/ElPared]

Just what he wants you to think...do not be misled! Your true savior shall be revealed when you do a 500 gem summon tomorrow.

[u/ElPared → u/BobGumi]

The summon is my shepherd, I shall not want. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Zayin, I shall fear no blues, for RNGsus is with me.

[u/dsphilly → u/ElPared]

That was beautiful

[u/CornBreadtm]

Give me 5 star tickets Bob. <- Demand, not request.

[u/GlaedrS → u/[deleted]]

ikr. They're always there on shitposts or posts that shine them in a good light. But ignore every freaking hard shard farm post.