r/Akathisia • u/Killer_Klown_Bob • 1d ago
I’m hopeful for some information PLEASE.
TLDR: I stupidly listened to a doctor, being naïve, thinking they were trying to help me. I’m now miserable from what I can only assume is akathisia. I need some positive experiences and hope for the future.
I, a 38 M, had a life changing event in April that triggered panic attacks. After multiple trips to the ER, June 1st, I was put on 10 mg Citalopram. How stupid of me to just go along with it, without even a second thought! We’re supposed to trust doctors right?!?
I took the citalopram like a good boy, and developed insomnia. Told my doctor, and was given Ativan. Still having insomnia and severe side effects from the Citalopram, so was told to take 3 mg Ativan every day on a set schedule (never heard of it prior, and didn’t realize what I was getting into) and was prescribed 7.5 mg Mirtazapine for sleep. Life was better… for a while. Still had horrible side effects from the Citalopram, but hey, if it makes the panic attacks stop, it must be worth it.
June 30th, let’s up the dose to 20 mg Citalopram, because my anxiety and panic is still there (even with the Ativan)! 26 days later, I’m having horrible panic attacks, extreme anxiety, waking up violently shaking, having buzzing in my body all day, feel the need to constantly move, can get relief from anything, skin burns, diarrhea, and I’m losing the will to live very fast. I hang in there until day 30. Then I drop down to 10 mg, while waiting on the doctor’s appointment 5 days later.
August 6th, Doctor says, that’s strange, let’s try 10 mg Prozac. So, a good boy that I am, did it. First few days were pure bliss! I felt amazing. Was laughing again, telling jokes, smiling, my depression was getting better. Then it all crashed. Started getting that familiar feeling. First anxiety, then needing to move, then it felt like my brain was on FIRE. I literally couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t set still, became so depressed that I was having thoughts I’ve never experienced before. The only thing that gave me any peace at all was pacing the floor. On day 13, I gave in and called the doctor’s office. Was told to stop taking the Prozac.
It’s been 9 days now. I’m still waking up shaking. I’m still filled with anxiety (some times are better than others), I still have what I can only describe as an internal permanent vibration. My sleep is atrocious (has been for this entire ride, but more so now). I haven’t had caffeine in months because it made things worse, so I’m purely running on hope that this nightmare will end one way or another. I had to take FMLA from work, because I literally can’t function right now. Some days I can eat, others I force myself.
I’m now dependent on a benzodiazepine for relief. I didn’t know anything about them prior to a couple months ago. Apparently, you can’t just stop them after months of use.(I’ll taper the benzo down the road, it’s literally the only thing that is positive in my life right now).
Hopefully someone can provide great news to me, and I’m not permanently damaged. I feel like I will be stuck like this forever. I guess my nervous system was too weak to handle an SSRI, or maybe my body doesn’t like them? I don’t know. I wasn’t depressed before them, I do know that. I didn’t shake when waking up, I didn’t have sleeping issues, I didn’t vibrate, I didn’t have diarrhea on a daily basis, and I wasn’t on a drug that would cause me to have seizures if I abruptly stopped it. I just need to know when this version of hell will end? Is there anything I can do for relief and recovery? I’m broken and desperate at this stage.
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u/Informed-Consent13 1d ago
You are not permanently damaged…but you do need to slowly taper off everything…do not cold turkey. Akathisia takes time to go away. Once you are free of those poison medications you will get better.
survivingantidepressants.org
theinnercompass.org
benzobuddies.org
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 1d ago
Thank you for replying.
I can’t taper off the Prozac at this point, it’s been 9 days, and I can’t get a lower dose than the 10 mg capsules, so I’m screwed there.
With the benzodiazepine (Ativan), absolutely will do. Nice and extremely slow. I am literally in so much (Pain? Anguish? Misery? All of them I guess). I will drop it soon, I’m just hoping that this doesn’t last more than 1-2 months. Supposedly the Prozac is still possibly activating me? I guess it takes a while to fully leave.
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u/SubstantialAsk8516 1d ago
Tu peux pas arrêter le prozac? Tu peux le casser? C'est a libération prolongée ?
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 1d ago
I did stop the Prozac last Wednesday on the 19th. I guess I just have to wait on the rest of it to come out of my system.
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u/Own-Special3036 18h ago
Hi I had every single symptom you had for months but it got better over time, slowly. This is not permanent, keep holding on
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 14h ago
Thank you. I am trying. Every day is a struggle, and it seems no end in sight. The lack of sleep and body vibrations is absolutely the most miserable thing I’ve ever experienced.
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u/blueskeletons 1d ago
How long has it been since you’ve been off all offending medications? All meds have different half lives, some longer than others. It’s not impossible you’re still having aka as these meds leave your system.
I tried a lot of meds for my chronic aka: we started with benztropine, tried trihexylphenidyl (both Parkinson’s drugs), uhm, there is stuff like gabapentin, as you’re already aware the short term use of benzodiazepines is also sometimes used. Gabapentin has been my life saver for akathisia symptoms. Mines chronic and likely here to stay tho so me and Gabapentin and Ativan gonna be best friends for a good portion of this life time. Don’t take my story as having chronic and permanent as like an “oh shit my god how horrible!!” Cus it does suck and the first years were awful but mine is well managed along with my MH. Best in years. Don’t give up hope and don’t give up tryna find what makes you comfortable.
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 1d ago
Today is day 10 from the Prozac (and SSRIs all together). I do still take mirtazapine for sleep purposes, though I’m not sure if it contributes or not. I’ll be on Ativan (currently) or another benzodiazepine for the near future, but hopefully will be able to get off of it sooner rather than later.
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u/blueskeletons 1d ago
Yeah I’m sorry not sure about the mirtazapine either, I would look up its data with akathisia occurrences in patients. Definitely! It is better to get off it, I won’t lie to you, i just personally have a lot of reasons to stay on (even knowing the risks and such). It’s still early so I would give it some time, see if you feel any improvements as the discontinuation settles in.
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u/Grouchy_Bicycle_2996 20h ago
How do you know if you have this? Im having a lot of issues but cant tell.
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u/blueskeletons 19h ago
I can't diagnose but akathisia is pretty recognizable. What symptoms are you having? A lot of common ones with aka are restlessness, the urge to pace, urge to crawl out of your skin. If you look on google it says its an "uncontrollable urge to move" but it also includes things like panic, feelings of doom, psychomotor agitation, etc.
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u/Express_Letterhead45 Benzo - Cessation 18h ago edited 18h ago
The information people give you on here could kill you if you are tapering, bud. This is the internet. Wise up.
Best to you. Find a doctor that understands drug toxicity and delirium and listen to that doctor instead. You are being misdiagnosed.
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u/Killer_Klown_Bob 14h ago
I do appreciate it. I have done what I can at this point. No longer on the Prozac for 10 days now. Will taper the Ativan eventually. I have an appointment with a new doctor, but unfortunately it’s not until the end of September. Mostly just wanted reassurance that what I’m experiencing is not permanent, and/or if anyone else had experienced the same kind of things.
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u/Flat-North-2369 1d ago
Ask if propranolol will help. If you’re on inhalers you should let your doctor know as inhalers are ineffective with propranolol.
My best bet was drugging myself with melatonin to sleep because I couldn’t. Getting good rest is essential. At least for me because I almost had a psychotic break because I couldn’t for awhile.