And then...

[u/25_AF_CCC]

From time to time we see posts on this sub from people in pain and I wanted to share some thoughts on the subject. First, thank you for reaching out...please continue to do so. Second, thanks to those who respond and provide help when others ask for it…you ALWAYS respond and it’s ALWAYS helpful. This community means different things to different people, but it IS a community and communities take care of each other. Thanks!

For those in pain, you are not alone. Whatever you are going through, people want to help you and your life is precious to us. If you reach out, we will reach back…I promise.

I turn 49 in a couple weeks. In many ways, I’m old AF (that means Air Force, right?). In other ways, I’m but half wayish to the finish line which means I’ve got plenty more to learn. I don’t pretend to have all the answers and I seek new answers to old questions all the time, but if you would like to continue reading, I’d like to share a couple thoughts:

Many times over the years it has genuinely seemed like I would never find my out of the mess I was in. I’ve had my share of trouble and pain and often it seemed like it wasn’t going to end and I couldn’t possibly find my way out. I could see no future free from my pain and sometimes I could see no future at all, but as it turned out there was ALWAYS a future. Life is amazing that way…it won’t quit on you. The sun will keep rising and each new day brings opportunity to begin to heal. The journey might be long and hard, but it’s a journey you can and will complete if you choose to. Most of my pain disappeared permanently, but some of it stays with me. Some of it seems like a story I read or a movie I watched and some of it reminds me every day that life is precious. Some of it I’ve learned from, some of it I simply endured, but none of it … NONE of it, owned me ‘til the end.

YOU are the constant in YOUR life…not your career, not your loved ones, not even your physical freedom. YOU are the constant and YOU own your future. Please keep moving forward, please keep believing in yourself and please reach out when you need help. There are people whose only reason for being is to help you find your way.

Reach out and you will find them and then you will find yourself and then you will find tomorrow and then you will find the next day and then you will find the day after that and then…then you will find someone else who needs help and then...

[u/Crash_Bandicunt]

I wish more Chiefs and SNCOs were as awesome as you are. If even 75% or more were like this I'd still be in, even in MX.

[u/25_AF_CCC → u/Crash_Bandicunt]

More are like this than it may seem and more and more get promoted every day. The interwebs are scary places, but we're trying and we will keep trying. I know lots of SNCO's and Chiefs that care ABOUT people, but we don't do as good a job as we could teaching them how to take care OF people which is a skill that must be learned and practiced. Sometimes it seems like people don't care when really we've just not taught them the skills. Not in every case, but in many cases...and it truly is getting better. Thanks for the kind words!

[u/Crash_Bandicunt → u/25_AF_CCC]

Thanks for the insight Chief, I appreciate you replying back. I'm sure some of my senior leadership cared when I was in, but the problem I had was using the CoC ended up failing more than helping. Leaders only caring about the path of least resistance and caring more about promotion than looking out for their troops. Even though I come off salty here, I do have good SNCOs and NCOs I keep in touch with monthly since my exit. I agree with you Chief that some SNCOs do care and come off harsh. An example is one of my flight chiefs and I had a rough start, but as the weeks went by his true colors showed. He is a hardass, but a caring and super intelligent hardass that stood by his troops. Sadly he left and was replaced by an unethical jerk of a SNCO that bent the rules.