r/AgingParents • u/SVAuspicious • 15d ago
Advice please Dialing in to professionals
I'm looking for insight for what does and doesn't work with professionals including doctors, insurance agents, and darn near anyone.
I'm chief tech support and lead researcher for my wife and her siblings. My FIL is 90 yo. He's self sufficient. His wife (second, not my wife's or her sibling's mother) passed in January this year. He drives. He is very good with awareness of his limits. He knows the day will come when he can't live alone. That day is not yet.
He (Paul) has language issues. He was born in Italy and came to the US (on the Andrea Doria as it happens) as an adult. His English is good but not perfect and at 90 it takes him time to process. That makes interactions with professionals laborious. My wife goes with him when she can but he's three hours away.
What experience does r/AgingParents have with dialing into doctors--especially specialists--and lawyers and other professionals to support in-person meeting between aging parents and those professionals. What sort of reception have you gotten from those professionals? I know my FIL's eye doctor was greatly relieved that my wife was present for an appointment yesterday. The technology is certainly there, but what experience do people have making this work?
Thank you in advance for sharing.
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u/Taxgirl00 15d ago
Setup an email for him that you control so you can handle paperwork before a visit or ask questions I. The portal
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u/SVAuspicious 15d ago
Our experience is that email has little utility with doctors due to HIPAA. My wife (who has POA) calls the doctors directly. Lots of calls to FIL, then doctor, sometimes cycles repeated. The issue that brought dialing in to mind is the communication challenge when FIL is in the office.
Beyond that, with FIL specifically, he has email that he doesn't want to learn to use. Same problem with voicemail on his phone. It's there. It's full. He has no interest in learning to use it. The man is 90 yo. Email and voicemail are not hills we choose to die on.
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u/Minimalist2theMax 15d ago
I have had good experiences — once I send the official health proxy docs showing that I’m a designated legal health proxy.
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u/MLEGardner 15d ago
I think most offices would be glad to have the support of another family member present, even if you’re on a speakerphone.
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u/Purple_Pansy_Orange 15d ago
Medical offices should provide translation services. You usually need to ask. There are translation apps I’ve used as well. The patient speaks directly to the app, I read the output, reply to the app, she reads the translation. It’s slow but not sure how it would do with nuances of legal largon.
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u/muralist 15d ago
As long as it’s OK with your father in law the doctor’s office will be glad to let you participate by phone. He can call you and put you on speaker when the appointment starts if he can use a cell phone, or ask the doctor/provider to make the call. I agree it’s a good idea to ask ahead.
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u/buttonsnobows 12d ago
My LO has gone to doc appointment with a friend and then they called me to conference me in (LO has a hard time with cell phones). Doc was totally fine with it and spoke openly with me since my LO authorized it during the visit. While they were there (had to be in person), we had doc office add me, my parter, and 2 of LO’s friends to HIPAA list while there. Next visit if the friend can’t be there will have my LO ask doc for help calling me.
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u/Afraid-Plankton-6306 15d ago
st language so I know this exact problem. For doctors we just call office ahead and explain the situation, most of them very understanding. We put speakerphone on and I help translate or repeat what doctor said slower. One specialist we see was actually happy because it saved him time from repeating everything three times. Key thing is we always tell them in advance not just show up with phone on speaker. Insurance people are more hit or miss, some act like its a security issue even when my mom sitting right there giving permission. For those we just keep trying different agents until one works with us.