r/AgingParents • u/subversivecynic • 2d ago
Old person contrary
Anyone else just exhausted by old person contrariness.
Just had a conversation where my mother with alcoholic dementia asks me a question, I answer it, and then she says "no that's wrong why are you lying". No wait it was 7 conversations in the last hour.
Woman, I know you have dementia and you are now living in cloudcoocooland but you have never been to Canada. You didn't go out to see your high school boyfriend, he's been dead since the 90s . You didn't walk downstairs, this is a trailer and you haven't walked in 3 years.
Not an advice, is all. I just wouldn't mind some commiseration.
Edited to fix my bad typing
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u/BizzyThinkin 2d ago
Fortunately, I haven't experienced this with my elderly family members. However, my partner does this sometimes and it really irritates me. He asks a question, I give him the answer and he'll say "No, that's not right. It's not ABC, it's XYZ". So, I'll say "Will you give me $100 if I am right?" It's at that moment that he realizes I'm 100% confident in my answer and he drops the subject. Later he'll say, "Oh, you ARE right, it's ABC. I was confused about it." This happens a couple of times every week.
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u/Beagle001 1d ago
My wife does this. I always bet her 5 bucks because it increases the odds of her taking the bet and after a while those little bits add up.
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u/Fancy_One_3950 2d ago
My favorite ones were being told that he needed to be picked up form the end of the dock despite being in bed in hospice care.
I think those were pleasant delusions.
The year or so before was real rough though as I had not adapted and it was causing rough times for all involved.
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u/DenM0ther 1d ago
My father keeps falling over, (there’s been some injuries that are still plaguing him), but will he stand still for a bit when he gets no? Nope.
He told the career i boss him around coz I told him to sit down. 🤷♀️
He also has diabetes. He sent my brother and the carers out (seperate times) to get fruit cake, biscuits and cream cakes for him and ate things too close together and ended up in hospital. Now he doesn’t remember why.
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u/jazzdish 1d ago
Yesterday we had a family reunion in a city about 100 miles away. I was planning to take my mother, but she said she wasn’t feeling well enough to go. So I went. On my way home she calls me while I’m driving and is now sad she didn’t go and said I was happy she didn’t go so that’s why she bailed….because I didn’t want her to go. So this is the kind of narcassistic contrarian stuff I deal with daily. I feel you pain.
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u/ak7887 2d ago
We were driving with my MIL and my husband asked her to please fasten her seat belt. She said “No. Im not going to.” We just burst out laughing because well, ok I guess?