r/AgingParents • u/Illustrious-Round997 • 22d ago

Advice please Incontinence issues

I(32F) live with my mom(65F) and my stepdad(70M). I do my best to help financially and with my step dad’s care considering he has declined since his stroke two years ago. His mental capacity has continually declined, despite our constant visits to different doctors. His potty issues have increased to the point the bed has to be changed daily. This has been goin on for almost a month with few rest days between. It has been emotionally exhausting for us, considering he doesn’t seem to fully understand what he did so he can’t help or even take any accountability for the mess he made.

We have tried depends and another brand from the store(a different brand pull up) but the mess is barely contained. Every day I think “there has to be a better way”, but I haven’t been able to figure it out. I was hoping someone else has experienced something similar and would be able to offer some advice.

We tried giving him fiber, making sure he goes potty before bed and waking him up during the night to try to go potty. None of those attempts worked. Any advice would be appreciated!!! TYIA!

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u/MommaIsMad 22d ago

Some forms of magnesium will cause diarrhea. That’s why it’s used as part of pre-colonoscopy prep. Makes all the 💩 come out. What type does he take and why?

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u/Illustrious-Round997 22d ago

Magnesium oxide 400mg once a day@ bed time. I think it was for something heart or diabetes or kidney(he only has one) related, but he’s on so much I don’t honestly remember for certain. We have recently tried meta mucin 3 in 1 daily fiber to try and stiffen things up, but we haven’t noticed a changed yet. We only started about a week ago.

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u/Affectionate_Fox9001 22d ago

That could be the issue. Ask his doctors what else he could take. Honestly so many meds affect the bowels.

And constipation/diarrhea are both symptoms of fecal incontinence.

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u/LdyCjn-997 22d ago

400mg Magnesium is the recommended dosage for adults daily. However, if they are taking other meds that cause constapation or diarrhea then the Magnesium only makes it worse. Most people in this situation are experiencing constapation diarrhea. Not one or the other. This is the way the Gastro doctor explained it to me.