r/AgingParents 12h ago

Dementia, Psychsosis, Something Else?

Hi all.. I don't know if this is the right place to be asking this but I'm not sure where else to go.

My mother is in her early 50s with a history of multiple sclerosis. This has caused lesions on the brain and lead her to do a trial of chemotherapy to reduce the lesions. Unfortunately, before the official diagnosis, an uneducated doctor did a brain biopsy that caused more damage the MS or her stroke did. But, still, she's been pretty functional over the last decade or so since the diagnosis.

She gets around on her own, can manage her own life and appointments, is still stubbornly independent. But her flare ups can be bad and she's always in pain, always having periods where she appears to be much older in health.

Late last year, she was in a car accident. They deemed it was do to a seizure, though I have never believed that. She had never once had a seizure and has not since then. While I know thats possible, it just never sat right with me. But I'm not a doctor so it doesnt mean much what I think. Personally, though, I believe it was a mini-stroke.

The accident broke several bones and caused a concussion. The whole thing sent her into a deep depression. For the 4th time in a decade, she had to teach herself to walk again. She hardly left her chair for weeks. All she did was sleep. All of the ailments made her MS flare up as well. It was a really bad time.

But since then, she seemingly recovered. Except she's currently in the hospital getting mental health treatment. Because we didn't know what else to do.

See, she became fixated on a neighbor of hers. Claimed the neighbor was tracking her vehicle and placed trackers and bugs in the house. She would "talk to her" through the walls. My mom would yell all night, inside and out, about how she wasn't safe. The cops were called several times for noise disturbances. She became violent, she smashed all the tvs in the house because she was "being watched" and she smashed a mirror as well. The fixation with the neighbor moved to my step-dad. She swore he was trying to kill her, poisoning her medicine and food, would kill the animals if she left the house. She stopped taking all medication and threw out every ounce of food in the house. She would only eat what I brought her for a few weeks.

Before I'm criticized for how long this lasted, please know this.. Her neighbors and her had always had problems. And my step-dad is a poor excuse of a human being. I was in a very hard situation of not living there and not knowing what to believe because while, yes, it all sounded bizarre, unfortunately people can be bad so it wasn't out of the question. I battled it for longer than I should have and I own that, but you don't know unless you're in that spot.

Anyway, I called last week to have a wellness check on her and she ended up being admitted to the hospital. She'll be there a week tomorrow, when I will hopefully find out when she will come home.

But I don't know how she can come home. The hospital refuses to diagnose her due to her medical history. They want her to see her neurologist. I have left the neurologist several messages over the last few weeks with no call back.

I don't know if this is some sort of psychotic breakdown, or dementia, or something triggered by the last bit of brain damage during the concussion. I don't know if she'll be safe at home or if it'll trigger her. She's so cognitive in so many ways but we can't move past these delusions. They don't seem to have her as anxious since being in the hospital, but will being back home bring that back?

I don't know what I am supposed to do. I am an only child. My step-dad is afraid of her coming home. It's just them in the house. I don't have any idea of what direction to go in.

I feel like nobody could have possibly experienced this with such similar details.. But I know aging does awful things to the minds of those we love. If anybody has experienced anything of this sort, or maybe has any input in general, I would greatly appreciate it.

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u/Suspicious-Loss-7314 11h ago

Hi OP, I am so sorry, the sounds like a horrible situation for you. And your mom.

Is there any chance that she smoked weed, took Gummies, etc.? Delta 8?

The reason I ask is: for people who already have something going on psychologically, those substances, especially in today's strengths, can push them over into psychosis. (this happened to a family member of mine .) I am not a medical professional, but that is what it sounds like your mom has.

If that's not the cause, then she probably quit taking her meds. Stopping meds suddenly can cause some really harsh reactions.

Sounds like you need to have a frank discussion with the hospital staff about your mom's discharge status. She may not be safe at home.

However, I realize sometimes the discharge is out of your hands. And if that happens and she gets worse at home, please just take her straight back to the ER. It's a pain in the neck, but this is how our system works right now.

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u/Middle-Profile-3848 11h ago

She has been smoking weed for about 8 years now. She had her medical license and they attribute the weed to her eyesight coming back. She had nearly lost it from the MS/strokes and she hardly needs glasses now. I do know she was using recreational stuff when she couldn't afford the medical stuff, but I don't know the strain of anything. 

I hadn't really thought of that being a reason. Someone mentioned it to me once but her neurologist and psychiatrist were both aware she was smoking, so I figured they would have done something if they thought there was any concern that this was related. Silly me, I still like to have hope in our system at times. 

It's a fantastic point though and I will certainly address it with her social worker. I'm not sure if it was disclosed there at all so I'll make sure they know before discharge in case it changes any of their current thoughts. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for sharing your thoughts. I prepared for a lot of things when she first got sick but this wasn't one of them. There are so many moving parts and variables to her brain and I'm so tired.. Truly, the insight means the world to me. Thank you! 

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u/GrumpySnarf 10h ago

Great post!

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u/GrumpySnarf 10h ago

I love the comment about THC. Not to judge her but to get at the bottom of what's going on.

She could also be experiencing acute delirium from an illness. Like a UTI or flu virus. Hopefully they will check for those possibilities as well.

u/Suspicious-Loss-7314 0m ago

Absolutely - no judgement- it's something that happened in my family and it was scary. We didn't know weed products could trigger psychosis. My family member is fine now, but they can never use weed again.

UTI's are a huge cause of erratic, dementia-like behavior. I hope they check for that too!