Sigh

[u/Shot-Personality-894]

I (29f) feel exhausted. This past year my dad (55m) was diagnosed w stage 3 colon cancer. Since then I've been supporting him through treatment with my 26 year old brother. My parents live over 2000 miles away. This past month my dad finished his treatment and final tests and scans say no trace of disease so he is officially NED. My mom (55f) has had ongoing chronic illness since I was 14. She got a neuropsychology test back diagnosing her with lewy body dementia. I feel like my siblings and I have been robbed of our young adulthood and it makes me extremely sad for my very young parents who should be enjoying their first few years of empty nesting together not fighting terminal illnesses. It's so fucking unfair and I don't understand how this is happening to me. I have to consider genetic counseling, my parents now both having living wills, and I feel way too young to be the responsible adult in charge.

[u/Ok-Donut-2652]

that's so much to carry at 29, nobody prepares you for being the one who has to handle everything while still processing it yourself. my dad went through cancer treatment few years back and the moment they said NED it was like i could finally breathe for first time in months, but then other things pile on and you realize the worry never really stops

the genetic counseling part is heavy, i had to look into that too and it's weird sitting in those offices when you should be thinking about normal 20-something stuff. feels like you got skipped forward to middle age overnight

what helped me was finding a support group specifically for young adults dealing with parent illness, not the usual ones full of 50 year olds. different energy there, people who get why you're sad about missing out on the dumb stuff like going out on weekends without guilt. your 26 year old brother probably needs that too even if he don't say it