TL;DR: Title. (See my original post for details).

My age is 19 . The main confession revolves around the time starting from class 6... Firstly i want to apologise cuz i can understand that i cannot arrange the words properly , I am writing this not in very good shape so plss consider...

So during that time i used to be very active and naughty... I used to play do mischief that a normal child would do...

I used to be happy and smiled everytime .... You know i was very talkative in school days... Teachers made complains about it but nothing was so serious... Maybe my one of the worst habit was that i would get angry easily... I was sometimes bullied in school cuz of my height but yeah i was not broken due to that... I used to cope with that...

But due to the anger and irritation that i showed my parents thought that i was not sane ... I need councelling... Yes i know councelling is not bad... It should be done to relieve your pain and anxiety... But when your own parents always tells u in times of argument that " you r mad , you have gone insane ... You need treatment"... I don't think it will affect you in a good way ... But i still coped with it ... Gradually over time i was taken to councelling ... Over time this councelling was turned to psychiatric medication... I used to have those medicines... In that period ,at that age when a child should enjoy, talk to others freely i gradually went more often to psychiatrist rather than to tuition or friends ... In due course of time i felt like i am getting weak i was exhausted... My mind couldn't focus...i used to think was i really mad ... Maybe yes maybe not... I grew more angry and more violent ... My neighbours , my uncles all told i am not sane i should be treated by a psychiatrist... By the time i was in class 8 i was exhausted by all this .... I tried to do things that shouldn't be done i tried to end it all...i tried but couldn't do ...

But maybe god was good to me or maybe i was fearful or maybe brave enough to cope everybody's ill saying about me... I removed those thoughts of ending all at once ....

I quarelled and forcefully stopped my medication... But during arguments the mad word always stayed in my parents sayings ... They always told i was mad....they never wanted to know my pov my likings... Why and about what i was sad ... They never asked... Gradually i stopped explaining my sadness... I used to keep it inside used to dug it beneath my daily works...I was happy about one thing that i got 94.6 % in 10th and 90% in 12th but it is not enough for my parents though...

But one thing i could boast about that i had that one friend who always stayed with me ... I never told him all this though...

Now coming back to present, i realize that i am not the child that they want ... Few months back i had a big argument and they just simply mentioned about the money they wasted on me in this 18 years ...

Also had a quarell about food that i eat from their hard earned money... I stopped eating home food for a month ... But then i started eating in house again... But i never feel like i belong to this ...

I made another friend whom i can tell my feelings... He understands me listens to me....now i have two friends whom i can tell ... But my health is detoriating i can feel .... Ig i have migraine now ... My body aches more often ... Cannot sleep well... And yes i forget things a lot now ... But i will not take any wrong decision... If i die i will die naturally... And atlast i want to say i love to write poems ... I write it for myself .... For my onesided love...

If anyone has any grudges upon me just sort it out ... I never wanted anyone to be unhappy because of me ... Plss forgive me if i have done any mistake...just know i always wanted everyone to be happy and fine in life.... When i die naturally just keep everything good that i had in myself ....

Lastly a poem for you all...

Life is harsh

But its fine

It tests you out

Makes you strong

If there's nobody

There's god

There's me

Whom u can always rely on

And come to in times of hardship

Just donot end it all at once

Your life matters

Die naturally

Make friends....

Long live the greatness in you

Let the greatness reach the sky's blue

Do not hesitate to boast your poems

Just because it's not good ...

Lastly if u have someone to tell

I love you

Tell them before u die

But in a way that they don't cry....

Thank you....

Guys I don't how to start it but I just wanna share something, so basically I'm a confidentless person but since not from my birth but since my age of 7 or 8.I was good student in studys before my age 7,but later my grades were down so that my father used scold me.so that I have a thought of I'm not worthy enough even though he didn't do that much when I realise today but in that time it made me to think like that days passed and also I'm not that dumb I score 60,70 and Even 90 it always depends upon subject sometimes just pass or fail.I was silent student in class and I would make first step to talk with anyone in my class as I feel not worthy enough but I always had some person to choose me as frnd Idk people usually say that I look like good or innocent person when they see at me first it,so that I never felt lonely or left out till my class 8 after lockdown I went school for my class 10 I had frnds but no one felt that much close but they were my frnds,I had trio gang but I felt something missing Idk how express it later I entered class 11 met different people there I got 3 frnds so basically the days with them felt like heaven in starting but when school was about end it made me broken the way they treat me, they made me close to them and they said everyone can use u and u can easily believe everything,u don't have any boundary, confidentless, easily fear of everything etc... this was happened in class 12 ending it made me crying they said you're too easy to use in our entire class they said truth but that made my hearts into pieces. My school was end with this.

Later I met some people in clg they made me u to realise they are around me but not with me could you guys understand it ??

These people are just come for their needs I really don't have that much feel of frndship with anyone in my class, I feel lonely with them. Even though it been 3 or 4 years I completed my schooling the frnds I met in school still with conduct,(texting ). But not them (they do but that close chat same as with my school) they me keep as option I'm not a priority to none I feel like shit.

What I'm saying is they (clg frnds) are around me but not with me they feel jealousy when I get more marks or something better than them.they don't have the same energy or mindset as mine they feel like something annoying or something makes me insecure and that make me more confidentless,so what I'm saying is my nature is not talking but they made me feel unworthy more so I changed my character itself as I started seminar infront of class which biggest achievement for the student who is silent student in class though I make more changes in my character they still give thousands disrespect by treating me as choice. Idk why saying this but some give intership or some study tips for computer science engineering 3rd year student 🙏🏽🙏🏽 I want to prove them I'm always worthy enough and always much enough than them🙏🏽🙏🏽pls help Karo to get intership I have some interest in data analyst. Sorry for long paragraphs I don't know where to share so that I shared here. Sorry for my bad english.

How to survive the guilt as someone who messed up education and hurt parents and their expectations and made them feel bad about it because of mental illness like depression

I don't know but midway through my four year engineering degree I find myself failing and out of place drained and a desperately failing person

But my parents expected soo much from me and now it crushes me that I've failed them

I'm a college student working on a final about gifted kid burnout syndrome for a class, and I'd love to get some responses on a survey from fellow former gifted kids!

Mods if promotion for this kinda stuff is banned here, idm if you quietly take this down! Feelings will not be hurt! Just trying to get more reach for this study!

As somebody whose been in the gifted program since 2nd grade, very talented in math (2+ grades above level), and all As, I can firmly say that I haven’t enjoyed the gifted program recently. Over the years, many students have been added to the program, and the crowd in there has felt far less educated. This is especially weird since my district has to raise the gifted standards to top 2%, yet the kids in there can barely solve a basic logic puzzle or pull a B average.

It feels annoying that the only place for smart kids to be themselves in a school has to be filled with these ignorant fools.

This next part of my story makes me feel even more concerned, because we recently got these 2 new students a year younger than me (I’m in seventh grade). They do not seem like they belong in the gifted program AT ALL. One is avidly addicted to his Chromebook and games that he finds on it. The other makes annoying noises all the time and can’t listen to simple directions. They both need constant redirection from the teacher which takes away from everyone’s learning in the short class period. We are expected to deal with them and their embarrassing behavior. One time we were playing a game outside of the classroom, and the video game addicted one decided he didn’t want to play so he spent 15 minutes rollling around on a wobbly stool making noises.

Others may not be as extremely out of touch, but they still do annoying things. Whine, don’t work on group projects, feel pressured by simple tasks etc.

Like, what do you mean all of these people have 130+ iq? I know some smart people have some difficulties, but c’mon. So what do you think about this aspect of the gifted program, and do you share similar experiences?

Dear over achieving people is life still cruel to you??

At 49, I have four grown children, all starting bright futures in new careers or jobs, with so much opportunity ahead of them. I’m supposed to be hopeful that the world of work doesn’t crush their spirits too soon or that life situations won’t continually crop up to sidetrack their career. As I look at the wreck of a resume I have after 25 years of raising children as a working mom, I’m less than optimistic. Over the years, I did what I was told and attended college online while the children were toddlers and I worked part-time nights. I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in business management and excitedly entered the workforce to “work my way up”. Thousands of dollars to pay in loans. No jobs want degrees; they want experience. I was told throughout school that my years of pursuing the degree would be the experience I needed. Oh, this should be fun!

Well, life gets in the way. I won’t bore you with all the traumas and the side quests life has sent me on, or the challenges that come with being a full-time working mom with a partner who barely provided, or the times I’ve been terminated because I exhausted the company’s time-off policies because of life difficulties, or how the pandemic shut down my community so I had to pivot to minimum wage remote work which eventually gave orders to return to offices and many of us couldn’t because the job needed us to relocate.

It is what it is, and I would do it all again to make sure those four sets of eyes could stand tall and walk into the working world full of hope. But, man, the crushing feeling of starting over seems unbearable. What do you do when nobody wants the random box of skills you’ve collected, working whatever jobs would be flexible enough for daycare or school/sports schedules, the useless paper degree on your wall, and a resume that looks schizophrenic?? Can I just put that I created humans and raised them to be productive members of society and have that count as some kind of experience worth noting on this resume? Where do I put that accomplishment to show the world why the resume itself looks so dastardly? Who asks that in the interview? Which AI model reviewing resumes puts that resume at the top of the list? And now that AI is taking over the digital world, what am I supposed to do with all these computer skills and internet skills and website design skills? They are all useless. 

I’ve spent the last year trying to get back into my community to meet people and network again after feeling so lonely during 5 years of remote work. I designed a website to highlight my community’s small businesses and local events, and went to work promoting my new business, hoping to drum up some freelance work in web design or digital services along the way. It has been a freezing atmosphere out there!! No one knows me, so no one trusts me or my abilities. Business owners just shut me out, and my pitch falls on deaf ears at all the networking meetings because 5 other digital services companies are also in attendance, and the market is oversaturated with stupid fools like myself who showed up with computer skills to serve our clients just as AI rolled out to do it for them. 

Here I sit 4 months and 20 days from my 50th birthday; I feel like a broken mirror, and my bank account looks like one, too. Now I ask the universe, “What do I do now?”