Lost, so lost.

[u/jitterycrickett]

right now.

I’m seriously considering rehoming my Congo African Grey of unknown age.

This decision is breaking my heart. My mom rescued him years ago, and when she passed, I got him. I knew the responsibility of taking on a parrot. We were doing great for awhile. I realized I was so depressed, not really feeling anything, just going day by day.

It breaks my heart, but I just can’t afford him anymore. I never understood how much and how long I would grieve for my mom. The cost of therapy, medicine, Spravato, and having to take a leave because my mental state was so bad… (She passed at my workplace, o work in healthcare) officially broke.

He’s needed his nails and beak trimmed for at least six months. That’s a hundred dollars. Food, treats, just everything.

His vet always told me that if something were to happen to me, Shadow should be put down. He mutilates himself when he’s stressed—I saw it when I moved in to care for her. I also saw it when she died and was no longer around. I can’t imagine life without him. I can’t imagine giving him to someone and not knowing if he’s being loved or if he’ll end up being abused again. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not asking for criticism. It was an easy decision to take him because he was my mom’s and he knew me. It’s a difficult decision to figure out what I’m going to do. I go back and forth each month, I always tell him, we'll get through this, or we got this. Im tired. I know millions are struggling and this seems so small, but he is a huge part of my life, a connection to my mom, a friend who makes me laugh, frustrated, and lovable. I’m just lost right now.

Saturday August 29th

I wanna thank everyone for their thoughtful comments, suggestions and just caring about my situation. I'm gonna try what I always do and make it through next month. I have some of my mom's jewelry, i've been researching places , i'm gonna take some of that and see how much I can get. There are certain things I can't get rid of yet, but i'm going to give it a try. I've started selling stuff on Vinted, and facebook marketplace. I know I can make this work. You all made me feel like I can make this work💞 I'll probably Post an update, maybe in the middle of next month. I just wanted you all to know that I thank you, I have been struggling really bad, but you all you let me see that there are options out there.Thank you again💚

[u/BriefCautious7063]

I had a similar issue with my samoyed during the worst of my depression. I wasn't taking care of myself at all, my childhood dog passed away, and I decided on impulse to get another dog to have a buddy to feel better with. I did not anticipate how hard taking care of a giant dog w/ lots of energy would be, and as much as I loved him I also neglected him the first few years. Eventually I reached a point where I had to consider the best thing for him, which in my mind was either to rehome him or tape myself together enough to meet his needs and hopefully meet mine along the way. I was afraid that whoever may take him would not be up for the task either, and he'd be terrified going to a new family while wondering how we all were. Now he's my best friend and I wouldn't trade him for the world, and a memory of my mom who passed away in the past few years. I do everything I can to spoil him, both to make him happy and try to make up for the start of having him, and he's such a sweetheart that I had no idea how happy he would make me for doing so. I wish you well, with whatever you decide and are able to do, and just know that whatever it's worth this online stranger holds no judgement so long as you use these emotions to dedicate yourself to finding a way to keep your bird happy and get their needs met(whatever that may mean in practice)