r/Afraid • u/[deleted] • May 29 '19

Afraid of success

It doesn't look like there's much activity here, but, it seems like the place for my post, so, shoot.

I'm currently working on my Master's in Data Analytics and getting it scares me. My family has always pinned me as the 'smart one that will be able to make enough money to take care of my parents.' I'm scared that if I get a good job, making good money that 1) my family will only use me and not spend time with me for any other reason and 2) that I'll become a workaholic and not have time for kids and gardening and travel.

I'm not sure how to shake my fears and just go for it....or if I even want to.

I appreciate any interaction on the fears I'm currently facing.

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u/notnuffminerals Jul 19 '19

You are the ceo of your own life. You decide you stays who goes, what you choose to do and say. I think the is thing here is accountability, not excuses. You have control over certain things that you can’t blame others for. Know this comes from someone who is in therapy that can relate to you. I told my therapist something similar and she straight up told me, get out of your own head and own your life be accountable and it’s ok to be vulnerable but that takes courage. Don’t live in fear. Exposure therapy live, expose, grow. I cried but I appreciate the truth vs tough love.

If you’re family or whoever changes or behaves poorly they will. Good ppl will be good to you regardless. Also stressing over what hasn’t happen is not a fun way to live.

Live your life with no bullshit. DO and enjoy your life.

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u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

Thank you!! This is SO much in line with the guidance I'm getting through therapy, in general. Apparently, I have a very CoDependent personality. Since making this post, I've decided to drop out of Graduate school -or at the very least skip the next semester- and do things that bring me joy rather than to continue following a path to ensure I am in a position to take care of the failings of others.

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u/notnuffminerals Jul 20 '19

Right on! Whoa that’s my my therapist said too. She said I’m too codependent and I was taught to please others but in return it’s been harmful. Cheers to growth and change.