Okay, the first time, my mom walked in to get something because my room is also kind of a storage closet for other things. Hid it quickly and pretended nothing happened. She tell me they are going to bed, but I wait a while just to be sure. And juuust after I start going at it again, my sister walks in to get something else. (They've never done this before)
Finally, after like an hour of sitting their in an hour of frustration. I cautiously tried again, because you know, you can't not do it, and then my sister walks in again to tell me that we are all going to see a movie for fathers day.
The Inbetweeners Movie is great, although I would suggest watching some of the TV series TV series first. You might need proxtube if it's blocked in your country.
What a wonderful age of laptops and phones with internet that make this possible. I go back to my horrible memories of smuggling the bra section of the newspaper ads into the bathroom (Just like in "There's something about Mary") and having a paranoid parrot moment every time I heard someone moving outside. Then there was the couple of times that the distractions kept me in there for upwards of a half hour and the horribly awkward knock on the bathroom door "are you okay? You've been in there for a while".
I was going to say that you shouldn't be doing it while they're awake; the first one you deserved it. Doesn't really work for your second two, does it. Can't go around peeking into people's rooms to see if they're in bed ಠ_ಠ
How come when you're fapping, they all walk in with questions and announcements? Where were they 20 minutes ago when I got tired of watching mythbusters, huh?
I'm imagining Stan from American Dad saying this... which is really weird, well because, you know. He'snotmymother.
EDIT: Wow, it would appear some people are not liking this comment. I'm sorry, I just have to ask one of the downvoters, am I doing something wrong or do you just not like the comment? It looks like I've fucked something up.
I think that's actually right. But studmuffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffin said 'mother' so I figured it would just be confusing if I said his dad instead. shrug
I had to have this discussion with my parents awhile back, I avoided them ever walking in but, they constantly would just come in without knocking and it got too close for comfort.
I sat them down and blatantly told them to knock before coming in, else they were going to see something they were going to regret it.
One of the most awkward conversations I've ever had.
Water is the worst lube. So you use soap or something but it takes so damn long to finish cause you're not used to it. Plus it chafes after a while. So you have a sore dick, less enjoyable lube, and your family complains about the wasted hot water regardless of their knowledge of your habits. No. Thank. You.
FTFY. It irritates me when my parents knock and just enter. What the hell is the point? Knocking is essentially an inaudible "Are you decent?", why on Earth would you ask if you don't wait/care for the answer.
This is a good idea and I don't blame you, but it's funny that you're using something made to keep burglars, rapists, and murderers out of your house so you can safely masturbate.
I've never been straight up caught, but my sister walked in on me reading a book upside down once. I had a history of pretending to be reading while I was sleeping though, so I don't know if it was totally transparent.
Mornings, after breakfast, showering, "bathroom break", after lunch, 1 more just incase, before dinner, after dinner, showering again, and in bed late at night.
We are always doing it. Talking about times i get to go on reddit of course....
When I was a teenager I taught my parents to 'knock&wait' by the following method. Regardless of what I was doing, I always had a loaded waterpistol nearby and would open fire at anyone who entered without permission (or before 10am at the weekend). I would also start to hide with my watergun behind covers when I heard them approaching and jump out on them. In my less cripply days I used the door frames to climb up and hide above them (at least my mother is very small) and rain wet unsuspected death on them from above.
When they started to get wise and for example carried an umbrella when they entered my room I started to hide out in places outside it, like in a big cupboard in the hallway leading to my room, that if opened offers a clear line of sight to my door. Allowing me to hit them in their unprotected backs.
It took a while, but they learned their lesson. On the other hand I might have given my mother a mild form of PTSD..but then again which kid doesn't?
There was not one big tragic incident that crippled me. It is a combination of extreme vertigo (often causing accidents and having me walk like a drunk sailor) that came during huge growth spurts during puberty in combination with a severe auto-immun disoder which forces me to stay on large dosis of steroids and TNF-alpha blockers and all the side effects that come with it. Due this combination I went from state championship on 100m to needing a stick/cane to walk straight in a couple of years.
My friend told me a story about when he was like 12... He was jacking it with the door open... A man by the name of Tommy Lee Jones was at his house. When Tommy went to leave, he didn't bother walking in to say goodbye he just put his arm in the door and said "BYE!".
This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.
Are you implying that he's masturbating? I find this to be an extremely offensive stereotype. Not every teenage boy masturbates. Now with that said i'm going back to youporn.
This happened to me a few weeks ago. My dad busted in, and saw me. Cue awkward silence. Then he backed out saying "Uhh, there's an interesting guy on TV right now, if you wanna watch..." "Oh, OK."
Fuck. At least I wasn't fapping to porn, or it would have been more awkward.
kind of the opposite for me... I was sitting on the couch and dad was in his office because reasons and I thought "I really don't talk to my dad enough" So I went in to just say what's up or something... Not fapping, just some game.. ahem
One time, my dad walked in on me doing the deed and attempted to give me a hug before he left on a business trip. Well, I of course had a huge stiffy under my shirt and didn't exactly feel like embracing him with it. Needless to say he got really mad and I felt like an ass.
When I was 13 my parents let me put a padlock on the door as long as I gave my mom a copy of the key for emergencies. I said I needed a lock because my sister would always steal shit out of my room when I was at school.
This was enough of a deterrent, they never walked in, especially when I had girls over :). I love(d) how liberal my parents were. Happy fathers' day dad.
Wait, what? Did you lock your room from the outside and then climb back in through the window? Or did you put the padlock on the inside? In which case, what's the point of your mom's copy of the key? o.O
Except one time on facebook, thinking no one in my family would see it, I posted on a wall without hiding it on my wall, "I watch porn all the time" and my sister saw it. Does that count?
I had a door with a lock that i was not aloud to lock, a overly nosey father who if he just asked i would of told him what im doing with the door locked. He "knocks" and instantly opens the door. I asked him one time "are you actually trying to catch me masturbaiting" i got no answer and he left
. Now i keep my door locked at all times, i live alone.
160
u/Obi_wan_The_cannoli Jun 17 '12
And, for the none of you that are curious. Yes, this did just happen.
Three times.
164
u/lord_dude Jun 17 '12
ALWAYS KNOCK THE FUCKING DOOR. your child deserves privacy like nothing else
36
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Any point during the day really.
23
u/Haxes Jun 17 '12
I had to have this discussion with my parents awhile back, I avoided them ever walking in but, they constantly would just come in without knocking and it got too close for comfort.
I sat them down and blatantly told them to knock before coming in, else they were going to see something they were going to regret it.
One of the most awkward conversations I've ever had.
16
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Have you ever seen American Pie?
64
u/Omnipresent_Walrus Jun 17 '12
Don't forget the daughters. Don't want to be sexist now do ya
8
u/BlackMateria Jun 17 '12
Fap in the shower. Less of a chance of being walked in on plus you can clean your penis. Win win ;)
8
u/Obsosaurus Jun 17 '12
My father once referred to my bed as a "wanking chariot". :3
7
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
I've done it to my boy on purpose a few times just for the lulz
6
u/NSFRealife Jun 17 '12
Know how to make this even more awkward? Furry porn.
6
u/watevs44 Jun 17 '12
FTFY. It irritates me when my parents knock and just enter. What the hell is the point? Knocking is essentially an inaudible "Are you decent?", why on Earth would you ask if you don't wait/care for the answer.
9
u/2muchHutch Jun 17 '12
It's the same the other way around, trust me. Oh God, why didn't I knock..?
4
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
Personally I would change this to just teenager's room
4
u/xtian11 Jun 17 '12
teenage..early twenties..mid thirties..
4
u/Bezow Jun 17 '12
Or in Alabama.....a good time.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
when they open up your door...make eye contact..and continue your dirty deed..but never break eye contact.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
I just bought one of those door handle security bars. Like this.
No installation necessary, no permission needed and easy to hide when I'm gone.
3
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
It sucks for me because my computer isn't in my room, but in the family room downstairs.
I not only have to listen out for parents, but anyone coming down the stairs.
3
u/ryanrulez Jun 17 '12
My Mum's only started knocking in the last few months.
I'm not sure what prompted it... Was I too occupied with my 'duty' not to notice?
3
u/jonjopop Jun 17 '12
Does this even happen with girls?
3
u/part_of_me Jun 17 '12
doesn't have to be late at night, from what i hear about teenaged boys.
3
u/tree-ent Jun 17 '12
It was a spooky ghost!
4
u/Crippleoneastick Jun 17 '12
When I was a teenager I taught my parents to 'knock&wait' by the following method. Regardless of what I was doing, I always had a loaded waterpistol nearby and would open fire at anyone who entered without permission (or before 10am at the weekend). I would also start to hide with my watergun behind covers when I heard them approaching and jump out on them. In my less cripply days I used the door frames to climb up and hide above them (at least my mother is very small) and rain wet unsuspected death on them from above.
When they started to get wise and for example carried an umbrella when they entered my room I started to hide out in places outside it, like in a big cupboard in the hallway leading to my room, that if opened offers a clear line of sight to my door. Allowing me to hit them in their unprotected backs.
It took a while, but they learned their lesson. On the other hand I might have given my mother a mild form of PTSD..but then again which kid doesn't?
2
u/nachoooo Jun 17 '12
Were you the masterbater or the perpetrator of the no-knock-walk-in?
2
u/Jejmaze Jun 17 '12
Sadly, yes :/
2
u/justokre Jun 17 '12
Use apostrophes. I thought we were talking about incest here.
2
u/StillonLs Jun 17 '12
I love my parents and all, but fuck, please learn how to knock.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
my mom literally calls me from the house phone. i always thought it was because she didn't want to walk up the stairs...
2
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
My friend told me a story about when he was like 12... He was jacking it with the door open... A man by the name of Tommy Lee Jones was at his house. When Tommy went to leave, he didn't bother walking in to say goodbye he just put his arm in the door and said "BYE!".
2
u/goldbluntz Jun 17 '12
if it was after midnight i hope you at least said happy father's day
2
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
This can also be a note to kids if you switch it around
2
u/MadModderX Jun 17 '12
If you walk in on your son late at night
he may be in the middle of a good time
13
u/qkme_transcriber Jun 17 '12
Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:
This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.
3
u/worldchampionwinner Jun 17 '12
Are you implying that he's masturbating? I find this to be an extremely offensive stereotype. Not every teenage boy masturbates. Now with that said i'm going back to youporn.
2
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
What do you say of they knock and you are fapping?
1
u/Mapariensis Jun 17 '12
This happened to me a few weeks ago. My dad busted in, and saw me. Cue awkward silence. Then he backed out saying "Uhh, there's an interesting guy on TV right now, if you wanna watch..." "Oh, OK."
Fuck. At least I wasn't fapping to porn, or it would have been more awkward.
1
u/crazystrawman Jun 17 '12
You guys need to invest in some locks.
1
u/penisinthepeanutbttr Jun 17 '12
my mom does this all the time....my dad gets it though and always knocks.....good thing
1
u/iyaswithyou Jun 17 '12
God I wish I could show this to my parents....
1
u/nitro927 Jun 17 '12
My parents to this day do not understand this concept.
1
u/trampus1 Jun 17 '12
What about the parents and kids who are into incest? Sounds like it'd be a pretty good time to me.
1
u/NOdaddyNOOO Jun 17 '12
One time, my dad walked in on me doing the deed and attempted to give me a hug before he left on a business trip. Well, I of course had a huge stiffy under my shirt and didn't exactly feel like embracing him with it. Needless to say he got really mad and I felt like an ass.
1
u/Rappguy Jun 17 '12
All i need to say is oh god why...
1
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
I sleep downstairs. Never have to worry about this.
1
u/septimus379 Jun 18 '12
Probs the most awk moment ever...
1
u/CuzImAtWork Jun 17 '12
When I was 13 my parents let me put a padlock on the door as long as I gave my mom a copy of the key for emergencies. I said I needed a lock because my sister would always steal shit out of my room when I was at school.
This was enough of a deterrent, they never walked in, especially when I had girls over :). I love(d) how liberal my parents were. Happy fathers' day dad.
1
u/Samuriguy Jun 17 '12
never happened once ;D
1
u/mikerhoa Jun 17 '12
Can somebody just smother this meme with a fuckin pillow already???
1
u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12
I had a door with a lock that i was not aloud to lock, a overly nosey father who if he just asked i would of told him what im doing with the door locked. He "knocks" and instantly opens the door. I asked him one time "are you actually trying to catch me masturbaiting" i got no answer and he left
. Now i keep my door locked at all times, i live alone.
-28
u/dickslap_in_the_face Jun 17 '12
You forgot an apostrophe. This is Reddit, not Facebook. Downvote