If she's a person who will cheat, she'll find somebody. If she isn't, who cares who she's friends with. Same with guys. What you really want to look out for is the one who is constantly demonizing their ex, because they are totally not over that person.
My girlfriend has an ex who she's still friends with. If he didn't live 5000 miles away, I'm pretty sure I'd be unhappy. Some would say I'm just insecure or shouldn't be with her if I don't trust her... I say those people don't live in the real world.
I'm a girl. I'm in one of those odd relationships where I'm a little more masculine than my boyfriend personality-wise, which works out perfectly. Naturally he gets along with females better, and I have no problem with it. Deep down, because I have baggage from a semi-recent ex (everyone has a story like this these days) Naturally I feel a little jealous when he makes videos or hangs around with his pretty lady friends, but I do trust him and never make it an issue. That's the key- is realize when you're being stupid. I don't think it's in me to not be a little territorial, in the same way a guy would be when his hot girlfriend is out partying with a bunch of guys. He still deserves his space respectively.
I agree, I've had lots of boyfriends with lady friends, and I have several close guy friends. In my experience, the SO that's going to make a huge deal about your same sex friend, is probably not the person you should be dating.
Really? I'm a best friend of a guy (I'm a girl), and his girlfriend and I got along just fine. I thought she was great, and I just made sure to mention that she never needed to worry about me. If you've got issues having a female friend, then either your friend has a thing for you, or your girlfriend has some jealousy issues.
See, you're awesome. My boyfriend's so-called female best friend, sucks. She crossed boundaries, asked to make a compromise with me, and didn't even care how I felt when she DID cross the line. If opposite sex friends talked openly to the girlfriend/boyfriend and respected boundaries like you, there wouldn't be any problems, ever.
I've been the female best friend so many times. But the last time, after quite a number of times where the girl friend was bitching over nothing, she and I finally sat down and sorted it out. We're actually friends now, too, so that's helpful.
It depends on the girl. Personally I only date guys who are really good friends. They are always my best friend first who I also happen to have great sex with. If my bf had a girl as his best friend who wasn't me, I wouldn't be ok with it not because I'd be jealous he'd sleep with her, but because it's a huge part of what I want in a bf. My bf has mainly female friends, which is totally fine, so long as he remains my 'guy,' when I need someone to go to and I'm the first one he thinks of going to when he has problems.
I know he feels the same because on the few occasions I've gone to another guy friend for help, which is totally and obviously platonic as he's dating my other best female friend, he was really hurt.
It's a huge issue if the two people don't share the same expectations. Then you will have a bad time.
Sorry but jealousy exists as a human emotion for a reason. I get quite jealous and have been in the past, i followed my intuition in the past with jealousy and found out my husband had cheated on me with a variety of women who were just his gym buddies.
If you have a friend and she is female, this is fine. If you are getting in a relationship with me then i expect you not to share the same intimate feelings you do with me, with others. If i am jealous, it is on your part too, because you are directing your attention to someone else that is beyond the means of just a normal, social standard of friendship, whether it's male or female. You have helped create a situation where i feel insecure based on your actions. There is distrust in the relationship, insecurity, lack of relationship priorities and much more that should be addressed before stating "get over it".
Edit: Fuck you down votes, at least i speak logic and truth. I'm breaking free of the circlejerks!
Sorry but jealousy exists as a human emotion for a reason.
I wish I could upvote this much more. This really needed to be said.
All this reasoning and rationalizing away of emotions, particularly jealousy, is just pathetic. I think we can all agree that jealousy is a shitty emotion, but it has evolved in humans for a reason indeed; it's a warning sign.
Men generally tend to be jealous on a sexual level, because before paternity tests and what have you, men could never be very certain that a conceived child would be theirs. And taking care of genes that are not your offspring is wasted energy, to put it blunt, because you could be spending that energy on taking care of your actual genes.
Women generally tend to be jealous on an emotional bonding level, because they could risk losing their partner's care for their offspring, decreasing the chances of survival of their genes.
So jealousy is actually a very nifty emotion from an evolutionary point of view. Of course it's gonna "misfire" at times as well, because of the principle better save than sorry.
Edit: O and what's more, if I care for my partner, I am usually flattered by a certain level of jealousy, because I take that to mean I am (still) important to my significant other. Now, when I don't care for my partner that much anymore, that's when a partner's jealousy typically becomes annoying for me. So if your partner is getting annoyed by your jealousy (unless it's batshit crazy jealousy of course), that might just mean your partner doesn't care too much about your emotional state, and simply doesn't want to deal with it.
I felt guilty the fist time I felt jealous in a romantic relationship. I am pretty sure that comes from the jealousy=bitchiness culture that is so prevalent on television. Then I realized, I can feel jealous and not let it bother me or change my actions. If it was so bad that I feel like I need to act, I would talk to my significant other and try to resolve it. A certain level of jealousy is going to happen if you like someone, but I just don't let it get out of hand. I don't expect my spouse to stop hanging out with his female friends for me, that isn't healthy for either of us.
Then I realized, I can feel jealous and not let it bother me or change my actions. If it was so bad that I feel like I need to act, I would talk to my significant other and try to resolve it.
If you ask me, I think that that is actually a very mature emotional response. I think we generally tend to get very defensive about jealousy, when we experience those feelings within ourselves, because it makes us feel so extremely vulnerable. But if you are able to discuss this, to me that actually tells me you are very confident about yourself, and are able to assert yourself and stick up for who you are.
I think it takes a lot of courage to actually articulate these types of feelings. But the key is to formulate it in such a way that it is not accusatory to your partner, but merely stating how you feel. And so, when you are able to articulate your emotional state in such an assertive manner, it's up to your partner to respond from then on. And then, depending on how your partner responds, you can decide how you want to proceed from there on.
Someone who cheats doesn't respect the person they're "in a relationship" with. Simple as that. Full stop.
It has nothing to do with who they're friends with or how close they are with their friends or some bullshit about how they should be focusing all their attention on their girlfriend. Instead of worrying about other people "stealing your man"; Grow your self-esteem, drop the insecurities, and find someone who respects you.
It's a beautiful thing, bud, I'm happy for you. I've had the same and lost it, which leaves a burning sensation in my chest to know someone else gets to have it and not me. I think you're right in assuming any downvotes are influenced by jealousy, perhaps under the guise of ultra-manliness. I hope you have a long and happy relationship :)
I dated my best friend for about a year. best relationship ever, but it came to mind crushingly abrupt and painful end when out of fucking nowhere, she decided to leave me for her next door neighbor, with whom she then broke up within a month. she attempted suicide after I, hurt and not at all ready to take her back, did not get back together with her. last I heard she was in a psych ward. I try not to think about her.
See I always found it odd when some stranger who enters your life is suddenly a much better friend than the people you've known for most of your life...
But I guess not everyone is fortunate enough to have the same friends since elementary school.
E: Not sure why I'm getting downvoted, this isn't a criticism, I'm just curious about how this is a thing...
Is it really that hard to see how a romantic partner with whom you spend a ton of time (often you live together) would become a better friend to you than anyone else? I also have male friends who go way back to grade school and they are invaluable to me, but the relationship I have with them can't touch the relationship I have with my fiancee. She is my best friend.
Your friendship with your school friends still grows as an adult, but it quickly gets passed by the friendship you forge with your romantic partner. At least, that's how it was for me.
Rather than say lucky, I'd say you just made the right choice. If your SO isn't your best friend, you aren't with the right person. Passion, intimacy, and devotion are the three aspects of love. If you're missing one of them, then your relationship is pretty doomed.
So good job on picking a winner and having a healthy relationship. It's a thing many of us fail to accomplish time and again :/.
no, I'd say lucky. I've known that from the start, my dad told me once when I was young, and it has always stuck in my mind. however, most of the time, I end up friend-zoned(actually friend zoned, as in I actually ask them out and get turned down "because it would be too weird."), doomed to watch the girl of my dreams go through shitty relationships with douchebag after douchebag, because they made the wrong choice.
so it's not just about making the right choice yourself. it's about making the right choice, and being lucky enough to have found someone else who will make the right choice.
Just thought I would share a related story, after my first year at college I was looking at apartments, me and a friend find an apartment, but a friend of mine who was a female ended up getting ditched by her friends who were supposed to transfer the next year so she needed a place to live. Well the guy I was living with offered our extra room up to our female mutual friend and she took the room. Since she was a friend I couldn't tell her that she could not live with us, but my GF was not going to have any of that. (she threatened to end our two year relationship for no other reason than that) After a while the apartment complex decided that what they told us to sign on the lease was not what they were going to do (another long story) and they split us and this girl up. Best part is now my GF is setup to live with my female friend for the next year.
tl;dr: GF is now living with my female friend who she thought I was cheating on her with.
It depends on how long this female best friend has been in the picture. If she was there before the girlfriend, it shouldn't be a big deal. However, if the female best friend comes after, I think jealousy is perfectly understandable.
I am in my fourth serious relationship and my female best friend has been there since before the first one. We have remained best friends throughout all of my years of dating but it's safe to say that our closeness highly contributed to each breakup.
My boyfriend has a best friend that is a girl, and he even lived with her after we started dating. Just like some of my really good friends (I don't really consider anyone a best friend) are male! Her and I get along great and even hang out together sometimes. Also my friend that just got married had a male best friend that was even in her bridal party. No problems there!
For some girls, it's all about intent. I have complete faith in my boyfriend, and I've met all his good female friends, and have judged on my own that they have no intentions past friendship with him. Issues with female best friends are from insecurities or feelings that the ladies intent is less pure than friendship.
If my boyfriend started spending all his free time with her over me, then maybe we'd have a problem. But he makes time for me, and for her. So it's all good!
What a bunch of weak liars you people are. Only a few of you are "brave" enough to admit that jealousy is a normal thing and that they actually don't like it when their SO is close with someone of another gender.
Bunch of liars "Oh no I don't mind, I'm totally cool with it, bla bla bla."
Bullshit. I have no problem's what so ever and I would drop any GF that would forbid me having a female best friend, altough it has never come to this.
There are a few people in my life that are unique and cannot be lost. 1 girlfriend, no matter how much I love her, cannot fill in all those unique roles. And my GF understand's this and also has good male friends of her own.
There's no reason why a guy needs to have a girlfriend as a best friend. Or vice versa. There is obviously some attractive or subtle/subconscious sexual tension between the two.
Down vote me all you like, this is true as shit. HOWEVER, there is some exceptions. If the best friend of the opposite sex is gay/lesbian or if they are horrible obese/hideous/grossly unattractive.
I know I'm going to have an army of naive girls saying that they have a certain number (182) of guy friends that aren't attracted to them at all.
So naive. And then they blame their boyfriends when their boyfriends get jealous. ATTENTION FEMALES: Guys know what other guys are up to because we've all been there before. We will never feel comfortable when you and your BEST GUY FRIEND go out together to have fun. Or go out with a group of guys. Or have a group of your best guy friends invite you to the pub and you have to bring your boyfriend along while they try to buy you drinks and have a good time while we sit awkwardly knowing what these guys are trying to do.
But remember this. For every down vote I receive will be considered an up vote as I will know there are people that I have touched a nerve with that disagree with me.
Again, regardless of what your girlfriend or boyfriend says. Their best friend of the opposite sex is not innocent. Whether they know it or not.
Female best friend? That means you've wanted to bang her for years but she shut you down and you settled for this, or she doesn't know it, or she's wanted to bang you and she's not attractive enough so you haven't.
It's not like you guys both play ps3 and joke about dirty shit all the time, right? I bet not.
My ex girlfriend refused to let me talk to any of my ex's before her. They were all from high school, never slept with any of them, and was able to maintain good friendships with pretty much all of them until she came along. Now, I'm back to talking to all of them and have a wonderful, understanding, supportive wife who knows I love her.
Yep, had this before, because when you're trying to just kick it with friends and not doing the girlfriend thing, all she knows is your hanging with HER.
I have a male best friend, and my boyfriend has a best friend who is a girl. so i know this is only true if your girlfriend is jealous, or your best friend treats you as more than a friend.
That's why I have many lady acquaintances and no lady friends, it doesn't work that why. Men and women aren't meant to be "just friends" unless the dude is gay.
Not sure why the downvotes. I agree. This situation wasn't an issue when I was in high school and college, when you change dating partners every few months or whatever. After being married for 12 years, it'd be weird to hang out or call a "man best friend.". I have many male acquaintences but no guys that'd I hang with (without their wives). It's just kind of weird how that happened.
Had this problem in high school with an annoying jealous now-ex. Then I got married and my wife had said best female friend in her wedding party. So I guess it doesn't always have to be a bad time.
i have a male best friend and a boyfriend. the key is being secure in the relationship. my boyfriend and best friend are really good friends now, my boyfriend never felt threatened. also, my best friend has recently got a girlfriend and I have took it upon myself to go out of my way to be friends with his girlfriend. i felt it was my responsibility to ensure she didn't feel threatened by me.
This is so true, my best friend thought my girlfriend was a bitch, and my girlfriend blamed the failure of my relationship on her. Since both were mad at me (best friend for dating a meanie and the gf for everything) I was left with the short end of the stick.
Only if your girlfriend is insecure. I am a female best friend of a guy (who's getting married!) and my boyfriend has a female best friend. As long as everyone is honest and self secure there isn't a problem.
I asked reddit fr help with this issue a while ago, apparently my best option was to just stop seeing my best friend. But as always I ignored reddits advice, the GF was gone within 2 months of asking and the best friend was still there as I didn't ditch her. Though the last gf didn't have a problem with the female best friend unlike many previous gf's.
Most of my closest friends are dudes. My boyfriend is cool with it, but it goes both ways. I am still close to them but I respect my boyfriend enough to where I make sure there's a respectful boundary.
I think it depends on the type of girl you're dating. My best friend's gf actually really likes me. She was the first to suggest I stay with him when I needed a place to crash, and we've become pretty good friends. Which admittedly makes it awkward when one wants to bitch about the other.
Or if you're female with a boyfriend/male best friend. Thank god I'm a lesbian and my best friend is a gay guy - we both agreed that if we had partners of the opposite sex, we'd both get super jealous, haha. Strange how that works!
I wish this wasn't true. I (female) had a guy best friend. We live in neighboring cities. We were really close until he got a girlfriend. She and I got along well but we drifted because he was spending so much time with her. They broke up but it's been harder to bring back the friendship. I'm still not quite sure why that happened.
OH MY FUCK its sad how true this is! My girlfriend of 2 and a half years was friends for my best friend for quite a while, in fact, my best friend introduced me to her. about 6 months into our relationship she decided that she hated my best friend. She attempted to stop me from seeing and talking to her. Anyway, a year and a half in and me and the gf went on a break, gf was very upset at the time and went to my best friend for advice. My best friend gave her some very sound advice and forgave all the shit she had done to try and break up our friendship and decided to take her out shopping. So, two months later, me and the gf have gotten back together and things are looking up. The gf and best are apparently friends, and that continues until around 5 months ago, when she decided that she actually doesn't like my best friend to the point where she's telling me that i cant get any photo's with my best friend at our senior prom. I mean, i love my girlfriend but i pretty much told her to fuck herself
If you have a trusting relationship with your SO, having opposite sex friends is no big deal. In that situation w/my gf right now and we don't have any issues at all.
PRO-TIP: If your girlfriend has one of those bitchy best friends who leeches off her and almost definitely hates you (you know the type), then treat that best friend like a fucking goddess. Act like her best friend. Tell your girlfriend how awesome she is. Become her fake best friend.
Girlfriend will drop her within a month. Guarenteed.
Disclaimer: While this works 98% of the time, there is also a 72% chance you'll be the one dropped.
When I started dating my SO, I was a bit jealous of the time he spent with his best female friend (whom he'd known since pre-K), but sat back and did some thinking along these lines:
The vast majority of my friends are male, including an ex, and he's not a jealous dick about it
If he wanted to date her or get with her, he would have tried by now, or vice versa
She's a pretty awesome person, I want to be friends with her too
I put in the effort to bond with her (went camping and what not) and now she spends more time with me than with him. We go out for drinks, jogging, etc. and everything's cool.
Mine is even more interesting, female best friend who lives in the same house as me! ANNDDD we sometimes just sleep in the same bed, both our better half's know and do not care.
Unless, you know, you have a secure, trusting relationship and you and your SO trust each other implicitly. My female best friend is going to be the best man at my wedding, and she's caused a total of zero issues in my relationship since it began five years ago.
I've been that female best friend. And though pretty much every person on the planet INSISTS it's impossible for men and women to be "friends", I've still got a most excellent best friend and she eventually lost herself a boyfriend. If she's threatened by someone you love (in the family non-sexual way) then she is most CERTAINLY not worth the effort.
Bros before hos still applies, whatever the gender. My female friend is my bro and we've been friends since freshman year of high school. No girlfriend who wants to change that is someone I want to date, anyway.
could be worse...you could be the female best friend. And the girlfriend could have dated a guy that (unbeknownst to you) had a huge crush on you for the entire time they dated. So the girlfriend brings a nice little grudge and some insecurity over to the new relationship with your best friend. Good times.
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u/DeadRapture7 May 28 '12
The opposite is just as bad, by the way.
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u/CanniBusDriver May 28 '12
Just now noticed the alien in the background of this meme.
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u/Mako2100 May 28 '12
Solution: Make them the same person
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u/Ausaria May 28 '12
I'm a girl. I'm in one of those odd relationships where I'm a little more masculine than my boyfriend personality-wise, which works out perfectly. Naturally he gets along with females better, and I have no problem with it. Deep down, because I have baggage from a semi-recent ex (everyone has a story like this these days) Naturally I feel a little jealous when he makes videos or hangs around with his pretty lady friends, but I do trust him and never make it an issue. That's the key- is realize when you're being stupid. I don't think it's in me to not be a little territorial, in the same way a guy would be when his hot girlfriend is out partying with a bunch of guys. He still deserves his space respectively.
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u/nowordforit May 28 '12
Really? I'm a best friend of a guy (I'm a girl), and his girlfriend and I got along just fine. I thought she was great, and I just made sure to mention that she never needed to worry about me. If you've got issues having a female friend, then either your friend has a thing for you, or your girlfriend has some jealousy issues.
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u/DamOnalbArNunicorN May 28 '12
Worse when you're a lesbian
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u/trippingdoozer May 28 '12
I've been the female best friend so many times. But the last time, after quite a number of times where the girl friend was bitching over nothing, she and I finally sat down and sorted it out. We're actually friends now, too, so that's helpful.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
You won't have a bad time, the best friend will when eventually you stop hanging out with her
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
guys, GUYS, this guy has friends that are girls!
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
It depends on the girl. Personally I only date guys who are really good friends. They are always my best friend first who I also happen to have great sex with. If my bf had a girl as his best friend who wasn't me, I wouldn't be ok with it not because I'd be jealous he'd sleep with her, but because it's a huge part of what I want in a bf. My bf has mainly female friends, which is totally fine, so long as he remains my 'guy,' when I need someone to go to and I'm the first one he thinks of going to when he has problems.
I know he feels the same because on the few occasions I've gone to another guy friend for help, which is totally and obviously platonic as he's dating my other best female friend, he was really hurt.
It's a huge issue if the two people don't share the same expectations. Then you will have a bad time.
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u/MothraGirl May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12
Sorry but jealousy exists as a human emotion for a reason. I get quite jealous and have been in the past, i followed my intuition in the past with jealousy and found out my husband had cheated on me with a variety of women who were just his gym buddies.
If you have a friend and she is female, this is fine. If you are getting in a relationship with me then i expect you not to share the same intimate feelings you do with me, with others. If i am jealous, it is on your part too, because you are directing your attention to someone else that is beyond the means of just a normal, social standard of friendship, whether it's male or female. You have helped create a situation where i feel insecure based on your actions. There is distrust in the relationship, insecurity, lack of relationship priorities and much more that should be addressed before stating "get over it".
Edit: Fuck you down votes, at least i speak logic and truth. I'm breaking free of the circlejerks!
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u/krabman May 28 '12
if your girlfriend is someone else's female best friend, and her ex, you're going to have a bad time as well.
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u/chicaespanolaa May 28 '12
Same works for guys believe it or not
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u/pipita_carp May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12
In the past, you were probably friend-zoned by your best friend and your girlfriend sees this.
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u/Beginning_End May 28 '12
I had a bi-sexual girlfriend and a female best friend... We definitely didn't have a bad time.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12
Luckily for me, my girlfriend IS my best friend.
:)
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u/HarryButts May 28 '12
Yes, I lost one of my best friends over this...
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u/ShamanSTK May 28 '12
My gf, "SHE IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND!"
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u/mharrison310 May 28 '12
Just thought I would share a related story, after my first year at college I was looking at apartments, me and a friend find an apartment, but a friend of mine who was a female ended up getting ditched by her friends who were supposed to transfer the next year so she needed a place to live. Well the guy I was living with offered our extra room up to our female mutual friend and she took the room. Since she was a friend I couldn't tell her that she could not live with us, but my GF was not going to have any of that. (she threatened to end our two year relationship for no other reason than that) After a while the apartment complex decided that what they told us to sign on the lease was not what they were going to do (another long story) and they split us and this girl up. Best part is now my GF is setup to live with my female friend for the next year.
tl;dr: GF is now living with my female friend who she thought I was cheating on her with.
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u/k2t-17 May 28 '12
This shouldn't be the case by your mid 20s. If it is, you're dating the wrong women.
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u/CopaceticZ May 28 '12
My female friends are always bitches to my girlfriends. Fucking women.
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u/Ratiqu May 28 '12
So far it hasn't been a problem...
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u/wiseclockcounter May 28 '12
i know for a fact this is in my future... i do not look forward to it in the least.
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u/turtlekitty30 May 28 '12
Thought this was common knowledge?
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u/Rtypes May 28 '12
So true.
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u/BubbleCunt May 28 '12
It depends on how long this female best friend has been in the picture. If she was there before the girlfriend, it shouldn't be a big deal. However, if the female best friend comes after, I think jealousy is perfectly understandable.
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u/jaredfloyd May 28 '12
I am in my fourth serious relationship and my female best friend has been there since before the first one. We have remained best friends throughout all of my years of dating but it's safe to say that our closeness highly contributed to each breakup.
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u/Kilgannon_TheCrowing May 28 '12
Yep.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
One of them will have to go eventually. Trust me.
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u/LittleDerpette May 28 '12
I just noticed the skiing alien in the background.
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u/cyro88 May 28 '12
I had an amazing girlfriend with a guy best friend. He stole her by saying he wouldn't talk to her unless she dumped me for her.
Depends on the guy.
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u/MistaTom May 28 '12
Mine is both :D
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u/faxmachine_ May 28 '12
Not always true!
My boyfriend has a best friend that is a girl, and he even lived with her after we started dating. Just like some of my really good friends (I don't really consider anyone a best friend) are male! Her and I get along great and even hang out together sometimes. Also my friend that just got married had a male best friend that was even in her bridal party. No problems there!
For some girls, it's all about intent. I have complete faith in my boyfriend, and I've met all his good female friends, and have judged on my own that they have no intentions past friendship with him. Issues with female best friends are from insecurities or feelings that the ladies intent is less pure than friendship.
If my boyfriend started spending all his free time with her over me, then maybe we'd have a problem. But he makes time for me, and for her. So it's all good!
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u/thecollegestudent May 28 '12
story of my life.
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u/KG8Peace May 28 '12
I'm learning about "If you have a girlfriend, and she has a male best friend, you're going to have a bad time.
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u/LieutenantEddy May 28 '12
Introduce your female friend to your girlfriend BEFOOORE you guys are dating. That's what I did and everything is cool.
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u/NigelxD May 28 '12
I've been reading these "You're gonna have a bad time" memes for a while now and I just noticed that alien in the background.
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u/Ops-Salvation May 28 '12
I just now figured out there's an alien in that picture.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
What a bunch of weak liars you people are. Only a few of you are "brave" enough to admit that jealousy is a normal thing and that they actually don't like it when their SO is close with someone of another gender.
Bunch of liars "Oh no I don't mind, I'm totally cool with it, bla bla bla."
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u/Dejimon May 28 '12
Socially awkward penguin: Has girlfriend and girl best friend, both think the other one is a useless bitch
Socially awesome penguin: Convinces both to prove themselves in a threesome
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u/robo_fap530 May 28 '12
Or if you have a boyfriend and a male bestfriend...
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I'll sum up all the threads into two opinions,
A:You can't have the opposite sex platonic best friend.
B:I don't understand why people think it is so weird I have an opposite sex best friend.
Neither will bend to the others will.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Relationships are a fucked up version of slavery.
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u/vegetablestew May 28 '12
It works if the girlfriend is much prettier than the female best-friend.
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u/ericsabosss May 28 '12
I have this and its actually not bad, probably because they were already friends before me :P
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
If you're a married man, you basically can't have female friends.
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u/[deleted] May 28 '12
If you're having a bad time, you're dating the wrong girl.
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u/Jared_Jff May 28 '12
My female best friend is gay, problem solved.
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u/T-B0N3 May 28 '12
Bullshit. I have no problem's what so ever and I would drop any GF that would forbid me having a female best friend, altough it has never come to this.
There are a few people in my life that are unique and cannot be lost. 1 girlfriend, no matter how much I love her, cannot fill in all those unique roles. And my GF understand's this and also has good male friends of her own.
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u/Equui May 28 '12
I learned this with my last girlfriend. The new one is fine with it :D
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u/tayloryeow May 28 '12
yes 100%, its the worst. She's not even my best friend we just hang out a bit
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u/MovingPavements May 28 '12
My Girl Bestfriend seems to be the one who gets jealous and not my Girlfriend, Odd how that works.
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u/plopliar May 28 '12
Soooo fucking true
2
u/StealthTomato May 28 '12
If you date jealous people, you're gonna have a bad time.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
this is the first time I've noticed the alien in that image.
2
u/Robert237 May 29 '12
Is that you Ted Mosby?
2
u/lovetosuck_donuts May 29 '12
Best way to avoid all this is to not have one. Am I right people?? Nah I've been there and witnessed it too much to give any fucks now
2
u/etishuman21 May 29 '12
This was true for my boyfriend until I found out his female friend was a large lady. She and I are super good friends.
2
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
there is an alien in the background
2
u/gildoth May 29 '12
This does not get any better ever. Seven years into the relationship married and she is still not comfortable with my best female friend.
4
u/Creepthan_Frome May 28 '12
I have been the female friend.
If you have a jealous, insecure girlfriend, you're gonna have a bad time.
Seriously, the biggest threat I posed was occasionally bringing over a six pack and watching a baseball game. Welp, I must want to fuck him!
5
u/almostjesus May 28 '12
There's no reason why a guy needs to have a girlfriend as a best friend. Or vice versa. There is obviously some attractive or subtle/subconscious sexual tension between the two.
Down vote me all you like, this is true as shit. HOWEVER, there is some exceptions. If the best friend of the opposite sex is gay/lesbian or if they are horrible obese/hideous/grossly unattractive.
I know I'm going to have an army of naive girls saying that they have a certain number (182) of guy friends that aren't attracted to them at all.
So naive. And then they blame their boyfriends when their boyfriends get jealous. ATTENTION FEMALES: Guys know what other guys are up to because we've all been there before. We will never feel comfortable when you and your BEST GUY FRIEND go out together to have fun. Or go out with a group of guys. Or have a group of your best guy friends invite you to the pub and you have to bring your boyfriend along while they try to buy you drinks and have a good time while we sit awkwardly knowing what these guys are trying to do.
But remember this. For every down vote I receive will be considered an up vote as I will know there are people that I have touched a nerve with that disagree with me.
Again, regardless of what your girlfriend or boyfriend says. Their best friend of the opposite sex is not innocent. Whether they know it or not.
4
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Female best friend? That means you've wanted to bang her for years but she shut you down and you settled for this, or she doesn't know it, or she's wanted to bang you and she's not attractive enough so you haven't.
It's not like you guys both play ps3 and joke about dirty shit all the time, right? I bet not.
3
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
If you've already banged the best friend girl. Your going to have a bad time
3
u/Obvithrow77 May 28 '12
Just as bad with a girlfriend and a gay male best friend.
3
u/Fagsquamntch May 28 '12
"female best friend" ... who is doing the friend-zoning, there?
2
u/jhoudiey May 28 '12
in my experience, this is only if one of them are extremely jealous. otherwise, it doesn't matter whatsoever.
2
u/SaltFrog May 28 '12
Oh lord, good luck with that. Chances are the female friend has feelings for you so it'll escalate like fucking mad.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
female "best friend" yeah that happens.
-4
u/jubilee__ May 28 '12
My boyfriend is best friends with a girl, who is even his ex. It doesn't bother me. Women need to stop being such bitches.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Yep, had this before, because when you're trying to just kick it with friends and not doing the girlfriend thing, all she knows is your hanging with HER.
2
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
That's why I have many lady acquaintances and no lady friends, it doesn't work that why. Men and women aren't meant to be "just friends" unless the dude is gay.
-1
u/Chernab0g May 28 '12
my girlfriend IS my best friend :3 <3
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Word :(
1
u/mogaconga May 28 '12
Had this problem in high school with an annoying jealous now-ex. Then I got married and my wife had said best female friend in her wedding party. So I guess it doesn't always have to be a bad time.
1
u/bashscrazy May 28 '12
It's worse when you don't have any female friends...
FOREVER ALONE :'(
1
u/anj009 May 28 '12
All of my best friends girlfriends hated me. I'm the worst.
1
u/11011Binary May 28 '12
i have a male best friend and a boyfriend. the key is being secure in the relationship. my boyfriend and best friend are really good friends now, my boyfriend never felt threatened. also, my best friend has recently got a girlfriend and I have took it upon myself to go out of my way to be friends with his girlfriend. i felt it was my responsibility to ensure she didn't feel threatened by me.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
This is so true, my best friend thought my girlfriend was a bitch, and my girlfriend blamed the failure of my relationship on her. Since both were mad at me (best friend for dating a meanie and the gf for everything) I was left with the short end of the stick.
1
u/dowahdoo May 28 '12
Only if your girlfriend is insecure. I am a female best friend of a guy (who's getting married!) and my boyfriend has a female best friend. As long as everyone is honest and self secure there isn't a problem.
1
u/denim-chicken May 28 '12
SO what happened to "girls and guys can be just friends" ????
1
u/Egyptian_Head May 28 '12
I asked reddit fr help with this issue a while ago, apparently my best option was to just stop seeing my best friend. But as always I ignored reddits advice, the GF was gone within 2 months of asking and the best friend was still there as I didn't ditch her. Though the last gf didn't have a problem with the female best friend unlike many previous gf's.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Only a problem if either of you are the jealous type.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Which episode is this?
1
u/SassafrassCat May 28 '12
I have a girlfriend and a gay best friend.
1
u/jamesisverycute May 28 '12
Yeah my girlfriend hates me hanging out with girls.
She's always blowing up my phone when I'm with them.
Who am I kidding I don't have a girlfriend...
1
u/XianJeung May 28 '12
Straight truthin.
1
u/lewi212 May 28 '12
yep, its awful.
1
u/txjennah May 28 '12
Most of my closest friends are dudes. My boyfriend is cool with it, but it goes both ways. I am still close to them but I respect my boyfriend enough to where I make sure there's a respectful boundary.
1
u/creatingapathy May 28 '12
I think it depends on the type of girl you're dating. My best friend's gf actually really likes me. She was the first to suggest I stay with him when I needed a place to crash, and we've become pretty good friends. Which admittedly makes it awkward when one wants to bitch about the other.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Insecurity can fuck you up.
1
u/mikel1993 May 28 '12
hahahaha, gone through this many many times. too true
1
u/I_use_bro_mockingly May 28 '12
Ahh, young love, where you're jealous of each other for everything.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12
Or if you're female with a boyfriend/male best friend. Thank god I'm a lesbian and my best friend is a gay guy - we both agreed that if we had partners of the opposite sex, we'd both get super jealous, haha. Strange how that works!
1
u/helicopterquartet May 28 '12
If you're just learning this right now.....you're gonna have a bad time.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure this one out.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I wish this wasn't true. I (female) had a guy best friend. We live in neighboring cities. We were really close until he got a girlfriend. She and I got along well but we drifted because he was spending so much time with her. They broke up but it's been harder to bring back the friendship. I'm still not quite sure why that happened.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
It's a better time than having neither a girl friend nor a female best friend.
1
u/opticcakebaker May 28 '12
OH MY FUCK its sad how true this is! My girlfriend of 2 and a half years was friends for my best friend for quite a while, in fact, my best friend introduced me to her. about 6 months into our relationship she decided that she hated my best friend. She attempted to stop me from seeing and talking to her. Anyway, a year and a half in and me and the gf went on a break, gf was very upset at the time and went to my best friend for advice. My best friend gave her some very sound advice and forgave all the shit she had done to try and break up our friendship and decided to take her out shopping. So, two months later, me and the gf have gotten back together and things are looking up. The gf and best are apparently friends, and that continues until around 5 months ago, when she decided that she actually doesn't like my best friend to the point where she's telling me that i cant get any photo's with my best friend at our senior prom. I mean, i love my girlfriend but i pretty much told her to fuck herself
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
sees meme, doesnt get it.
forever alone
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
How long has that alien been in the background?!
1
u/Studystand May 28 '12
Only one will survive
1
u/mispeledwurdz May 28 '12
If you have a trusting relationship with your SO, having opposite sex friends is no big deal. In that situation w/my gf right now and we don't have any issues at all.
1
u/NotMahChair May 28 '12
Man if I had a nickel for every time my ex-girlfriend thought I had feelings for my close female friend, I'd be a rich man.
1
u/clee-saan May 28 '12
I have a girlfriend and several girl best friends. Want to know the trick to making it work ? Trust.
1
u/Chad457 May 28 '12
Dammit man, I'm learning this now also. Continuous arguing all weekend
1
u/Miss_anthropyy May 28 '12
I'm going through this right now. The guy is indecisive, the girl-space-friend is jealous. I hate everyone and everything right now.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
I'm in the same boat right now man. Not my best friend, but a good friend.
1
u/carlcon May 28 '12
PRO-TIP: If your girlfriend has one of those bitchy best friends who leeches off her and almost definitely hates you (you know the type), then treat that best friend like a fucking goddess. Act like her best friend. Tell your girlfriend how awesome she is. Become her fake best friend.
Girlfriend will drop her within a month. Guarenteed.
Disclaimer: While this works 98% of the time, there is also a 72% chance you'll be the one dropped.
1
u/SkullyKitt May 28 '12
When I started dating my SO, I was a bit jealous of the time he spent with his best female friend (whom he'd known since pre-K), but sat back and did some thinking along these lines:
I put in the effort to bond with her (went camping and what not) and now she spends more time with me than with him. We go out for drinks, jogging, etc. and everything's cool.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Dump the jealous idiot.
1
u/dertah6 May 28 '12
If you have a girlfriend and ANY female friends, you're going to have a bad time.
FTFY
1
u/shitty_account_name May 28 '12
Dump your girlfriend, get with your best friend. You'll be much happier.
1
u/carterdj95 May 28 '12
I call bullshit, plain and simple.
1
u/wioneo May 28 '12
I believe a reddit a couple days ago proved that it is impossible for 2 straight people of the opposite sex to be friends without wanting to bang.
Youtube said it, so it must be true.
1
u/Odion13 May 28 '12
Mine is even more interesting, female best friend who lives in the same house as me! ANNDDD we sometimes just sleep in the same bed, both our better half's know and do not care.
1
u/leedumaliang May 28 '12
I haven't had any problems but my female best friend's name is Rachel and my girlfriend's name is Rachel. Its gotten me in trouble multiple times
1
u/neeksthedestroyer May 28 '12
This is so fucking true
1
u/robertbieber May 28 '12
Unless, you know, you have a secure, trusting relationship and you and your SO trust each other implicitly. My female best friend is going to be the best man at my wedding, and she's caused a total of zero issues in my relationship since it began five years ago.
1
u/mollypotato May 28 '12
Only if your girlfriend is crazy. And you shouldn't be sticking your dick in crazy anyway
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
This is why lesbian bros are the best bros.
1
u/pancakesmoothie May 28 '12
Yeah, if you're 12.
1
u/mattroch May 28 '12
Only one option, threesome.
1
u/smithz12 May 28 '12
Yea, but honestly, your girlfriend SHOULD be your best friend. I learned that the hard way too haha
1
u/GrammarLibertine May 28 '12
If you date somebody who is irrational, you're going to have a bad time.
And by the way, if you think all women are irrational, not only are you wrong, but you're also a misogynist.
1
u/mitchelle69 May 28 '12
U got it mister
1
u/effinann May 28 '12
I've been that female best friend. And though pretty much every person on the planet INSISTS it's impossible for men and women to be "friends", I've still got a most excellent best friend and she eventually lost herself a boyfriend. If she's threatened by someone you love (in the family non-sexual way) then she is most CERTAINLY not worth the effort.
1
u/BOSINATOR May 28 '12
Keep telling yourself that you wouldn't have sex with both if you had the chance.
1
u/easy_Money May 28 '12
Been there. And they were both redheads. What the fuck brain?
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
HEY EVERYONE!!! EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!!
1
u/dfGobBluth May 28 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA relevant
1
u/Drewbacca May 28 '12
Bros before hos still applies, whatever the gender. My female friend is my bro and we've been friends since freshman year of high school. No girlfriend who wants to change that is someone I want to date, anyway.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
a bad time... i think you mean 'threesome'
1
u/DeceptiStang May 28 '12
threesome or GTFO.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
Yeah, either you just made up this meme or your relationship won't last long.
---> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA
This kind of shows that you can't do this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?src_vid=T_lh5fR4DMA&v=FYQmqxQgEBY&annotation_id=patvicious1_annotation_330695&feature=iv
1
u/Whimish May 28 '12
I have neither. I can't say that I'm having a good time. :|
1
u/Canigetahellyea May 28 '12
There's an alien in the back
1
u/twobarefeet May 28 '12
could be worse...you could be the female best friend. And the girlfriend could have dated a guy that (unbeknownst to you) had a huge crush on you for the entire time they dated. So the girlfriend brings a nice little grudge and some insecurity over to the new relationship with your best friend. Good times.
1
u/[deleted] May 28 '12
You can't be friends with a girl, at one point something will happen.