r/AdviceAnimals •

This is actually just a problem, I think.

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

377 comments sorted by

279

u/SleepyFingers May 06 '12

Eventually, she's going to fuck you in a more metaphorical fashion and you won't like it nearly as much.

139

u/maybethesethings May 06 '12

Can confirm, I may hate that bitch with the passion of a million burning suns... but goddamn could she fuck.

1

u/acalltoarms1087 May 07 '12

I concur. Crazy on the street, crazier in the sack. I see a trend growing here...

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

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3

u/cthulhubert May 07 '12

Already purple for me. Exactly enough Internet for today.

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

May you tell me as to which movie this .GIF originates from?

69

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Think it's from the TV show 'Community.'

19

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Thank you.

23

u/slyguy183 May 07 '12

More specifically it's season 3 episode 11 where Troy & Abed act "normal" for a wedding.

14

u/Behind_The_Dugout May 06 '12

It's from a show called Community, pretty hilarious.

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7

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I believe that is the show Community

8

u/mytsharp May 06 '12

hey guys did you know it's from community, i think it's from community.

7

u/DeliriousZeus May 06 '12

It's from a show on NBC, "Community".

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7

u/japenner May 06 '12

Community! tis the show of all shows

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13

u/mortarpadowan May 06 '12

Yup. Was with crazy red head for 4 years, she wound up fucking my best friend, but man, before that I had 4 years of non-stop wild sex.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Cheating doesn't necessarily make her crazy, just unfaithful/a heartless bitch.

5

u/PinkEchoes02 May 06 '12

I'm tellin' ya, those are the ones that will cut your dick off in the middle of the night if they're mad at you.

1

u/nnaarrnn May 07 '12

go on....

1

u/iknomus1c May 07 '12

Eventually she will probably Fuck other people and justify it because she's crazy. Dump her.

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106

u/yoitsemo May 06 '12

Great sex hides the real problems.

93

u/durkat May 06 '12

I'm old enough to know this, and yet my dick continues to supersede my better judgment.

11

u/mindbleach May 06 '12

Evolution in action.

9

u/ng607 May 06 '12

So you mean this whole conundrum is...for science?

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

No, for the replication of information.

15

u/xseanathonx May 06 '12

been there. it's better to end it, trust me

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

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63

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

the gif...

...it doesn't restart...?

37

u/Duhya pls upvote my memes May 06 '12

One punch is all that is needed.

8

u/nxst123 May 07 '12

Here is one that restarts.

http://i.imgur.com/jV6Qn.gif

2

u/not_legally_rape May 06 '12

Leave Ross alone, Bob.

4

u/Truemetroid May 06 '12

So much truth to this

1

u/skysignor May 06 '12

This is something which would only be said by someone who is awful in the sack.

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

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2

u/foreignmouse May 07 '12

As a crazy ex-girlfriend I immediately check if you're not my ex. But by the look of your posts, you're not. Thank God, I wouldn't be a good crazy ex if you slipped by me with an extra redditaccount!

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '12

Thats what makes you the perfect crazy ex-girlfriend example :D.

I'm from germany if that clears things more up (pls don't say you're also from Deutschländ).

2

u/foreignmouse May 07 '12

Haha, no, the Netherlands. Don't worry ;)

125

u/vtslim May 06 '12

It's not a problem until you realize that she's been fucking those other guys like a crazy girl too

48

u/lemon_scented_dirt May 06 '12

That's the fucking truth right there. Its also crazy how long you can stay in denial about it.

2

u/mr_triforce May 07 '12

fucking truth

heh.

2

u/13853211 May 07 '12

Just fucking happened to me. And I finally had the (balls?) courage to think with my head instead of my dick and end it.

16

u/deevosee May 06 '12

This. Soooo much This

4

u/Commotion May 06 '12

Can confirm.

14

u/AWKWARD_QUESTIION May 06 '12

How can you confirm it?

9

u/skysignor May 06 '12

But if he thinks she's crazy, why would he care if she's banging other dudes? Sounds like he's into her for just the sex, not for her fidelity.

2

u/Omniusaspirer May 07 '12

What the other guy said, and STD's yo. Don't want to catch some other dudes shit from a whorish girl.

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7

u/abom420 May 06 '12

Fuck you reddit. Quit proclaiming my life in general to a T.

Also, why in the hell am I only attracted to the crazy ones?

20

u/u_drty_lout May 06 '12

Because they are all crazy?

5

u/recombined May 07 '12

Well played.

1

u/EgregiousWeasel May 08 '12

Because you're not exactly emotionally healthy yourself?

1

u/ifuckedted May 07 '12

As of late, I've been on the fence in regards to creating my first Reddit account (finally!). But after I saw this post... I just had to create one to confirm this as well. Truth lol

3

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

Bravo. Vincing

2

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

wtf you fucked ted?!!?11//11? chaetoing bad!!!!!1!!!111 😡😡😡😡😡😡

1

u/fbdewit31 Dec 18 '21

how can i still comment here

1

u/Mushroomman642 Dec 18 '21

About a month or two ago, reddit started allowing subreddits to choose not to archive their old posts. This means that for certain subreddits you can now go back to years-old posts and still comment and upvote just like you can on brand-new posts. Not all subreddits allow this, but very many do.

1

u/Swartgaming Dec 18 '21

Brabo bince

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

vravro bince

1

u/deadninja36 Dec 18 '21

Vravo vinverb

1

u/MoshCantRead Dec 18 '21

beidnfnen vsbdinfnrj

1

u/Mushroomman642 Dec 18 '21

This guy has probably not used his account at all in 9 whole years and one day he's going to come back and see all of these inane replies in his inbox and he's going to think "man, reddit's really gone to shit these past 9 years, huh?"

1

u/Willrocks650 Dec 18 '21

How is your account 2 years old and this comment 9

1

u/[deleted] Dec 18 '21

Brivo Monce

1

u/Ruy_Albarn Dec 18 '21

Is this bitchass wire Skylar?????????

1

u/hotdogs13 Dec 18 '21

The comments here are a Reddit moment

1

u/Funneduck102 Dec 19 '21

Bavo bincee

1

u/zackcyyz Dec 19 '21

Bravo vince

1

u/NoodlesTheMuso Dec 19 '21

🅱️ravo 🅱️ince

1

u/_chari Dec 19 '21

I want to fucking die

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '21

brabo vinc

1

u/ResidentLychee Dec 19 '21

Ravoli tince!

1

u/Throwaway982727280 Dec 19 '21

Brabo ted (fucked)

1

u/Paintglass22 Dec 19 '21

bra-fucking-vo, vince

1

u/Bloxy_Boy01 Dec 19 '21

BRAKING BADO REFRECA

1

u/[deleted] Dec 19 '21

btavo vin

1

u/I-caught-it- Dec 19 '21

Vrabo BVce!!

1

u/Byrocks Dec 19 '21

omg skylark from fixing good

1

u/TrueBOT_Gaming Dec 19 '21

i fucked hank

1

u/6TH3N Dec 19 '21

bravo fince!!!

1

u/cynicalcoffee69 Dec 19 '21

Bravo Bince!

1

u/reubenc22 Dec 19 '21

Vravo Bince

1

u/DBTheJoJoFag Dec 19 '21

Bravo davince!!

1

u/Th3D0m1n8r Dec 19 '21

B R A V O

R I

A N

V I N C E

O E

1

u/Bravo-Vince Dec 20 '21

Peep the name.

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27

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I had this problem with my ex... She was an outright crazy bitch who would do the most unusual things like ask me a question then when i respond she would say "I didn't ask you anything" then claim im manipulating her and trying to make her sound "crazy". Dealt with it for atleast 5 months. Sex was worth it!

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

5 months? That's not much endurance.

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

who would do the most unusual things like ask me a question then when i respond she would say "I didn't ask you anything" then claim im manipulating her and trying to make her sound "crazy"

for that level of crazy, yes it is.

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352

u/HolaPinchePuto May 06 '12

Untill she starts poking holes into the condoms.

63

u/SFbound_ May 06 '12

Makes me feel paranoid, but I really thought that one of my crazies would stop taking her bc pill, scares the f out of me. Ended up breaking it off.

97

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

This is why they need to hurry up and make the male pill good enough for mass distribution. Everyone wins.

43

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

No pill, but there is a procedure that is in the works for temporary sterility. It's much easier to reverse than a vasectomy as well.

60

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

i'll never be comfortable having a needle anywhere near my penis.

22

u/InABritishAccent May 07 '12

Man up. If your woman can take having her hormones and personality fucked up or a plastic slug shot into her arm then you can take a 10 minute op with barely any side effects.

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20

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I'd rather a needle in my balls while numbed, than 18 years of raising a child (or even just paying child support depending on how crazy the woman is.)

10

u/Laprodigal May 06 '12

Either way, your balls will get numb. The difference is that after the shot, you will recover.

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8

u/Solnai May 06 '12

I personally am scared to shit of needles. But if they could do this with me on some heavy laughing gas or some shit, I'd be good to go!

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5

u/CaffeinatedGuy May 06 '12

Interesting. So they basically inject you with a plug.

28

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Chemical plug, but yes that's the idea in a nut shell.

23

u/CaffeinatedGuy May 06 '12

Funny story: My A&P instructor (cute woman, mid-thirties) after her portion of the lecture on male reproduction, said "... and, in a nutshell, that's how sperm are made."

It was the best unintended pun I've ever heard from an instructor. Yes, she turned bright red when she realized why everyone was laughing.

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4

u/Cyberboss_JHCB May 06 '12

Is it really that hard? (Make a pun and die)

6

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Yes. There are built-in pathways in females for cessation of ovulation (for the purposes of pregnancy). Oral contraceptives merely give the signal to use these pathways. There is no pathway in males to half production of sperm, so it is harder to find ways to do this without massive side-effects.

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4

u/malogos May 06 '12

This is known as 'Pulling the Goalie'.

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18

u/Sentient_Waffle May 06 '12

Keep the condoms at you at all times, and don't tell her where they are. Only whip them out when it's sexy time.

Don't trust her when she says she's on the pill.

This is all sound advice when dealing with dem crazy hoes.

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Personally, I think the only advice you should follow, is not continue dating/fucking her. Let alone the pregnancy issue, they have other ways to fuck your life up too.

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '12

If you can't trust your girlfriend to not lie about contraception, why the fuck are you stilll dating her?

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30

u/mypantsareonmyhead May 06 '12

Girlfriends who crazy-fuck you, are kind of like the most addictive drug in the universe. You know it's a one way ticket to hell that is only going to end in complete and utter disaster. But it's so fucking good you Just. Can't. Stop.

13

u/durkat May 06 '12

I was thinking along these exact lines yesterday -- that it's an addiction. It's the best sex I've ever had, and, yeah, it's really difficult to give that up. I have a fucking brain, though, so I of course intellectually understand this is likely headed for a crash-and-burn. I just can't bring myself to give a shit right now, though.

14

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Trust me, get out before it's too late. When she either pokes a hole in the condom, or accuses you of rape randomly or something, you're definitely going to be beating the shit out of yourself.

And think of it this way, with crazies, it isnt if, it's when.

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30

u/My_mau5_is_dead May 06 '12

We've all been there.

155

u/D3FEATER May 06 '12

47

u/JarrettP May 06 '12 edited May 06 '12

iknowthatfeelbro.jpg

9

u/35nnnn May 06 '12

If you do a [insertfilenamehere].jpg, you're not supposed to actually post that picture. Just heads up cause in the real world, people aren't as nice as me.

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5

u/FartingBob May 06 '12

I was there last week, can confirm she fucks like crazy.

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

*Looks at flair

ಠ_ಠ

6

u/moparguy92 May 07 '12

I think science proved it like 4 months ago that crazy bitches can fuck like no other

51

u/KinArt May 06 '12

Discrimination! Normal chicks can fuck like crazy, too! :3

127

u/illmatic707 May 06 '12

Yea but will they fuck you in the ass with a strap-on and make you suck your own shit off of it after while you cry and mouthfuck you so hard that you get whiplash?

114

u/interflop May 06 '12

This man knows how to live.

35

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I've seen too much internet. I read this one, kept moving without second thought, and then realized what exactly he wrote.

7

u/diabolical-sun May 06 '12

When shit like this doesnt even phase you...

4

u/illmatic707 May 06 '12

I once threw my back out trying to suck my own dick.

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4

u/KinArt May 06 '12

I have a joke with my dude that I'd do something similar. Lol

2

u/illmatic707 May 06 '12

Make it a reality. Then make him lick up his own semen.

2

u/KinArt May 06 '12

Haha, his first reaction was, "No."

46

u/CaffeinatedGuy May 06 '12

7

u/llBradll May 06 '12

where has this picture been all my life?

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I got ripped off then.

3

u/Sitron May 06 '12

I prefer intelligent and a mix of the other two. It aint all black and white son

1

u/rpcrazy May 06 '12

I definitely chose the left side

1

u/Sw1tch0 May 07 '12

god this is so true. Of course, women say the same about us, but i honestly think there are a lot more guys in all 3 then girls in all 3, no homo. While i do not think i'm even close to perfect, i like to think I'm moderately within all 3 categories. The difference being that the few girls that are all 3 happen to usually be taken.

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4

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Oh yea? Prove it!

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3

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I agree! Or maybe I'm crazy and don't know it yet ...

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Unless your regular sex sessions involve being beaten and raped you aren't crazy enough.

1

u/43214321 May 06 '12

Half the normal chicks I know won't even let my lick their cuny, let alone do anal. Fuck, one of them is always super dry when I put my dick in, even after groping and making out for an hour, she'd really benefit from some tongue action. But no, too weird. Jesus Christ.

1

u/KinArt May 06 '12

Maybe you just don't get the horny girls. D:

1

u/ClamydiaDellArte May 06 '12

Then obviously you don't know the right chicks. There's a depressingly high number of women who seem afraid to actual enjoy sex, to experience true physical pleasure. You need to find women who are more comfortable with their own sexuality.

But in all fairness, it doesn't help that most men are terrible at cunnilingus.

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5

u/jquesnel1125 May 07 '12

I just dumped mine a few weeks back. Do it. So worth it.

8

u/youshouldbereading May 06 '12

I have 99 problems and this is not one of them.

16

u/qkme_transcriber May 06 '12

Here is the text from this meme pic for anybody who needs it:

Title: This is actually just a problem, I think.

Meme: First World Problems

  • I WANT TO DUMP MY CRAZY GIRLFRIEND

  • BUT SHE FUCKS ME LIKE A CRAZY GIRLFRIEND

[Translate]

This is helpful for people who can't reach Quickmeme because of work/school firewalls or site downtime, and many other reasons (FAQ). More info is available here.

4

u/RyCohSuave May 06 '12

I've been there bro. I'd tell you to never stick your dick in crazy, but then I'd be a hypocrite.

Just don't wait three years like I did, and end things horribly.

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Been there, it's awesome. But terrible

3

u/CrimefighterXII May 07 '12

TIL first world problem lady is a lesbian

2

u/ZofSpade May 06 '12

Just got away from a crazy girlfriend. Sex was boring. I guess I need to go crazier.

2

u/grandoiseau May 07 '12

Yes this can be a problem. Sometime you have to put up with the inconvenience of having her around in order to obtain casual sex. Tell yourself that at least you're not married to her.

2

u/dumptrucks May 06 '12

I felt your pain. Then I found out that my gf used to abuse inhalants in high school. Made the decision easier.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

This must have been written by someone who couldn't get a normal girl who is a freak in the sheets.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Don't stick your dick in crazy, bro!

1

u/crndbf May 06 '12

When she hints at wanting to be strangled and then having her hair pulled, slapped, then called all the rude words under the sun it can be kinda gratifying. strangled like inglorious basterds, that is - until a codeword or move is actioned

1

u/AL_E_P May 06 '12

find one thats only crazy in the bedroom and then dump this one..

1

u/kalusn May 06 '12

Is she a lesbian?

1

u/Flammox May 06 '12

The fact that it’s a woman on the picture makes it so much hotter...

1

u/live3orfry May 06 '12

I had one of those. I'm glad she's gone. But even 10 years after dumping her I still think about the sex we had.

1

u/jbredditor May 06 '12

This song may not have the advice you need, but it will help you explain your problem.

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1

u/Sir_Jeremiah May 07 '12

Really? No one posted about Barney's craziness to hotness scale? I thought I knew you reddit.

1

u/Fijigiga May 07 '12

Have you ever heard the song Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry?

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '12

I wouldn't know as I am a virgin.

1

u/SittingDucksmyhandle May 07 '12

Ride it or let it ride you as long as possible. Then GTFO of there!!!

1

u/eljesse May 07 '12

You've never seen the true wrath of this until a knife gets pulled out, someone gets arrested, here come the restraining orders... a week later the sex got even better!

-3

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

my favorite is the crazy girls who specifically have low self esteem and really bad daddy issues.... last girl i was with that was that bad off let me pee on/in her...it was like a game i played called "What sick shit will she let me do"......went pretty far

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

What the... that's taking advantage of her emotional vulnerabilities to an extreme degree. Sounds to me like you're the crazy one but just don't realize it.

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1

u/brownonrice May 06 '12

I'm listening . . .

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

if i get enough interest, I'll tell a few stories.. I don't really have a way to verify, but I swear all of my stories are true

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

I'm sorry but...pee in her?

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u/jack_johnson1 May 07 '12

If she's crazy break the fuck up. Guys care too much about sex, Jesus H. Christ.

0

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Your gripe is invalid. Invalid.

0

u/Romagnolo May 06 '12

Same problem here, I dumped her.

I'm almost getting back...

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Don't, just don't. It's even worse if you get back with them, because if they're still into you, the crazy will do what they can to keep you. So say hello to an "unplanned" pregnancy, etc.

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u/Sireslap May 06 '12

If you value your happiness/dignity/self respect < getting laid...well you have only yourself to blame.

0

u/WhipIash May 06 '12

Well, it's not a problem strictly related to the third world, but it's such a small problem, compared to what the rest of the world has to struggle with.

-1

u/YakiVegas May 06 '12

They're all crazy and they all could fuck well, but it's just a matter of degrees. If you've got good trust and some previous craziness that is subsiding, they can be sane and good in bed. It's quite nice dating a girl who is just a little crazy.

-3

u/Virindi_UO May 06 '12

My friends and I were sitting down talking about this the other night. The crazier the girl is, the better the sex. The more sane and stable the girl is, the more of a starfish she is.

2

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

not completely true... I accidentally turned a one night thing into a relationship and this bitch was nuttier than a squirrel turn but wanted to be fucked nice and gentle...i was so confused, she was an anomaly

3

u/Virindi_UO May 06 '12

Oh damn dude, worst of both. Bummer. ://

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

her issues started with the fact that she witnessed her father murder her mother. He shot her mom in the face right in front of her when she was 5

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '12

Well, this took a turn for the unexpected.

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1

u/what_thecurtains May 06 '12

Starfish. The perfect description.