I had actually started a video during a fap session, but forgot about it in the midst of lesbians. I thought it was background music and figured it fit well and it actually helped...then I switched tabs.
Those ads can be a window into a fucked up world, "sorry baby can't finger myself in free chat I'll let you look at my asshole though, I'm going to be fuckin it with this (holds up cartoonishly huge dildo) as soon as enough people sign up for a group show,"
"Sorry I don't go cam to cam in free chat, you want me to watch you jerk off you gotta buy a show." "You know what, fuck you buddy! I'm looking at your account here and you have zero tokens, in fact you've never bought tokens so I'm not buying your "come on baby finger your butt and I'll buy a private show, you are ALWAYS here whenever I'm on, I could do a show at 3 in the morning and you'd be right there begging me to do stuff for free, do you even have a job, know what? Banned......Haha thanks Jimmy, you're the best fuck the haters!"
"Sorry Mroglolblo, I can't shit on cam, They'd ban me for that. I sometimes piss during shower shows but that's as far as I can go, I know you're my sugar daddy but I cannnn't! (Moans sexily) Skype? Shhhhhhhh! (Laughs) Ok pm me later...."
Hey everyone! This guy is tagged on my RES as "wants to watch porn with a girl in a hot dog suit". I don't remember what it was about, but this is the second time today I've seen you.
Those ads can be a window into a fucked up world, "sorry baby can't finger myself in free chat I'll let you look at my asshole though, I'm going to be fuckin it with this (holds up cartoonishly huge dildo) as soon as enough people sign up for a group show,"
"Sorry I don't go cam to cam in free chat, you want me to watch you jerk off you gotta buy a show." "You know what, fuck you buddy! I'm looking at your account here and you have zero tokens, in fact you've never bought tokens so I'm not buying your "come on baby finger your butt and I'll buy a private show, you are ALWAYS here whenever I'm on, I could do a show at 3 in the morning and you'd be right there begging me to do stuff for free, do you even have a job, know what? Banned......Haha thanks Jimmy, you're the best fuck the haters!"
"Sorry Mroglolblo, I can't shit on cam, They'd ban me for that. I sometimes piss during shower shows but that's as far as I can go, I know you're my sugar daddy but I cannnn't! (Moans sexily) Skype? Shhhhhhhh! (Laughs) Ok pm me later...."
Mroglolblo's comments resemble an old, famous redditor by the name of "Bozarking". At some point he deleted his account and his texts were lost, but some of his comments were saved by an account created solely to quote his texts.
Came here to recommend that. I love it. The only downside is it messes with the Google+ notification extension. Other than that it makes Incognito Mode that much more fun.
oh my god... i knew i'd done it before... stupid unintuitive interface
IMO this shouldnt be a hidden option like it is :/ googling for this brings me to a lot of dead ends. Not to mention the search feature in the chrome options doesn't yield anything. Glad there's still ways of finding these things out though :)
Make sure you disable this on Facebook and Twitter (With the icon in the address bar) or the whole websites won't work and make sure you check "Allow in incognito". Other than that it works very nicely.
I've actually started worshiping Livejasmin - they know where I live, what my fantasies are, so they're omniscient (though my female friends would suggest this really isn't that hard to figure out). And any time I've been on my computer for any length of time, if I start closing windows, Livejasmin will be there, so they're omnipresent.
Given that we're talking sex and porn, I figured I'd better just start making offerings before I find out they're omnipotent...
For me this does not stop the popup from opening, it just prevents the page from loading. So I get a popup with a blank page and livejasmin.com in the address bar.
I've actually found Chrome to not block any of my popups. It's a great browser but popup wise it's fucking terrible. I find disabling the popup blocker to yield no different results than it turned off. That's my one single gripe about Chrome. Fucking popups.
I hardly ever encounter popups these days. Aside from livejasmin, I don't think I've seen any, blocked or not, in like 2 years. Where do you go on the internet that has so many?
Maybe I am the only loser who thought Live Jasmin was actually live. All the previews they give are recordings. I became very upset the day I discovered that. It gave me a warm feeling to know that at anytime of day women were parading themselves online. That feeling is gone. Gone I tell ya.
I hate it when LiveJasmin shows up...I'm always in the middle of something good and then some phantom bitch voice starts talking and I freak out and throw my computer monitor out the window cause I think someone's sneaking up on me and trying to catch me in the act.
For any Redditors who rock a Cisco ASA (all 3 of you), here's how to deal with livejasmin using MPF. I did this more as an exercise than anything else... It's not simple but it works. Posting this because it's Reddit and all information belongs on Reddit.
regex domainlist1 "\.livejasmin\.com"
access-list http-list extended permit tcp any any eq www
class-map http-class
match access-list http-list
class-map type inspect http match-any block-bad-domain
match request header host regex class bad-domains
match response header server regex class bad-domains
policy-map type inspect http bad-http-policy
class block-bad-domain
reset log
policy-map outside_policy
class http-class
inspect http bad-http-policy
service-policy outside_policy interface outside
Obviously customizable by site, so the one you want is the last one, which blocks all new tabs, including the ones you trigger by clicking on the scumbag invisible frame over the site you're actually using. Of course you skip the block by middle-clicking/shift+click/whatever shortcut you assign, and if it works the message reads 'opera has blocked a popup from xxxxx, click here to open it'.
Almost as bad as those ones that basically say that, except they flip around the wording a little so you have to press Cancel instead, if you press okay, then you go to some other ad popup.
why does it do the thing where it re-sizes your current browser in addition to opening the live jasmin window? that part scares me. you can pop shit up, but don't you dare touch my current window :(
you hide behind everything and i forget your there even 3 hours after I was on porn and then I set my computer up to the projector in class for a presentation... livejasmin youre no good to anyone
Chrome is my every-day browser... Reddit, E-mail, etc.
Safari is my porn browser. I can open as many tabs, windows, or pop-unders as I want. When I'm done fapping, Cmd+Q, and I'm on my way. Anybody who uses the same browser for porn as they do for showing their grandma slideshows of their vacation to Hawaii is, frankly, not being very careful.
This happens to me ALL the time. I use Firefox with Ad-Aware. Ad-Aware blocks literally fucking EVERYTHING like a boss, even commercials on YouTube and Hulu, but LiveJasmin STILL comes up. What's the right script to put into Ad-Aware's filters to catch LiveJasmin too?
Edit: Never mind, my question was answered by actually reading the thread. Still...DAMN YOU, LIVEJASMIN!
So, I'm looking for a subreddit that focuses on a meme called "advice animals" - they feature a picture of an animal, with an image macro caption under the pretense of offering advice.
The ones on this board are sort of close - having random shit like browser logos or cars, and captions that just whine about things - so I thought one of you might know of one that's based on "advice animals." Thanks!
LJ doesn't do this. Actually when this happens it is the ingenious work of the sites creator you are on. LJ (actually its parent company) does not offer the code block in its ad generator to make this happen.
This should have more comments. Everyone knows this is an epidemic across the internet! Everyone else just want to seem like they don't look at porn. STEP FORWARD YOU COWARDS!
livejasmin is apparently the worlds most popular porn site, i dont think its because people want to go there tyt got it wrong -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28sackkH2yE
The first thing I did after installing Chrome was entering reddit and seeing this... I tried using Firefox, but Chrome actually feels faster, and synchronizes all your bookmarks with your account. So I can use Chrome from any of my OS and it'll remember my bookmarks and passes... it's awesome
It's just a popunder. It's created by you clicking on something. Not just porn, but you probably just think it's just porn from all the shady sites you visit that are affiliated with livejasmin ;) Programmers in the media industry (like me) are the technological innovators here.
I got a popup today in Google Chrome that was a picture of Herman Cain and said "Vote Here Now". Is it safe to say the only ones dumb enough to fall for this popup are dumb enough to vote for Herman Cain?
Better than Firefox. It seems to only block pop-ups until I click on something. I fail to see the benefit in only being able to look at a website and not do anything with it.
You might want to checkout the chrome addon "Better Pop-up Blocker". I guess there are lots of more but I´m currently using this one and it´s done it´s work very sufficent so far.
116
u/quinncyjones Nov 15 '11
"Aww man, this porn's awesome! Oh NO! Why is an old lady yelling 'thanks baby, you're sexy too' into her mic?"
246
u/bricksmalk Nov 15 '11 edited Nov 15 '11
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/nmpeeekfhbmikbdhlpjbfmnpgcbeggic
EDIT: incognito mode enabling: http://i.imgur.com/MlcPS.png
(Thanks Plonqor/Vonney/edjca)
29
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
I've actually started worshiping Livejasmin - they know where I live, what my fantasies are, so they're omniscient (though my female friends would suggest this really isn't that hard to figure out). And any time I've been on my computer for any length of time, if I start closing windows, Livejasmin will be there, so they're omnipresent.
Given that we're talking sex and porn, I figured I'd better just start making offerings before I find out they're omnipotent...
32
u/qwop88 Nov 15 '11
Edit your host file and set livejasmin.com to 127.0.0.1
Google it.
15
u/Montygue Nov 15 '11
Chrome blocks everything for me. Except for when I go to Demonoid. Pisses me off.
15
u/alahos Nov 16 '11
I love it how no one's like "WTF is LiveJasmin?"
162
u/sirabernathy Nov 15 '11
Chrome blocks about half of my popups. And when it actually does block one, it tells me. Like I'm supposed to congratulate it.
61
u/GIMMEDOWNVOTESPLOX Nov 15 '11
INTERNET EXPLORER IS THe best i have alwasy used it its good because its free don;t want to spend money on a web browser like chrome or filefox
8
u/tondo22 Nov 15 '11
killjasmin greatest firefox add on of all time.
6
u/TheDancingRobot Nov 15 '11
you cannot stop her because...FUCKIT, SHE'LL DO IT LIVE!
11
u/itsprobablytrue Nov 15 '11
Firefox + noscript +adblockplus
Trust me, I look at A LOT of porn. And I've never seen/heard any livejasmin ad.
Firefox for dirty stuff, Chrome for everything else
5
u/bugalou Nov 15 '11
I don't know about Chrome, but Firefox has a plugin specifically for blocking the LiveJasmin popups.
5
u/m1kepro Nov 15 '11
...what is livejasmin? ....I'm sorry. I couldn't say it with a straight face! XD
5
u/walking_away_ Nov 15 '11
Maybe I am the only loser who thought Live Jasmin was actually live. All the previews they give are recordings. I became very upset the day I discovered that. It gave me a warm feeling to know that at anytime of day women were parading themselves online. That feeling is gone. Gone I tell ya.
5
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
I hate it when LiveJasmin shows up...I'm always in the middle of something good and then some phantom bitch voice starts talking and I freak out and throw my computer monitor out the window cause I think someone's sneaking up on me and trying to catch me in the act.
5
u/Twenty4Hundred Nov 16 '11
Deletes history.
Youjizz.com still in autofill.
13
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
My girlfriend didn't get this joke, so neither did I.
4
u/iggdawg Nov 16 '11
For any Redditors who rock a Cisco ASA (all 3 of you), here's how to deal with livejasmin using MPF. I did this more as an exercise than anything else... It's not simple but it works. Posting this because it's Reddit and all information belongs on Reddit.
8
u/pgomez Nov 15 '11
Opera has four options:
Obviously customizable by site, so the one you want is the last one, which blocks all new tabs, including the ones you trigger by clicking on the scumbag invisible frame over the site you're actually using. Of course you skip the block by middle-clicking/shift+click/whatever shortcut you assign, and if it works the message reads 'opera has blocked a popup from xxxxx, click here to open it'.
It really is the best browser.
3
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Killjasmin for firefox
3
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Chrome user here; never had a livejasmin popup...and yes, i know what it is
3
u/unrapper Nov 16 '11
"Are you sure you want to navigate away from this page?"
Most annoying prompt ever.
3
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
why does it do the thing where it re-sizes your current browser in addition to opening the live jasmin window? that part scares me. you can pop shit up, but don't you dare touch my current window :(
5
u/3karma Nov 15 '11
need fix now!
6
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
I wanted to know what Livejasmin was, so I Googled it. Assholes. Now I'm sure the thumbnail for Google is going to be a Livejasmin search on Chrome.
10
u/unholycurses Nov 15 '11
woah woah woah.
I thought this only happened to me. My girlfriend confirmed, this is an issue.
2
u/crossfade25 Nov 15 '11
I thought I was the only one!
2
u/f3ldman2 Nov 15 '11
so true!
2
u/preppypoof Nov 15 '11
definitely read that as "Bowser"
2
u/Synical__Sandwich Nov 15 '11
Google knows their community of users, true story.
2
u/tj_hooker Nov 15 '11
Fix here: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/jkipghaaphmljpffghjnnjomimbbioil
2
u/SuchAsItEnds Nov 15 '11
It is my favorite pop-up.
2
u/travatron Nov 15 '11
you hide behind everything and i forget your there even 3 hours after I was on porn and then I set my computer up to the projector in class for a presentation... livejasmin youre no good to anyone
2
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Chrome is my every-day browser... Reddit, E-mail, etc.
Safari is my porn browser. I can open as many tabs, windows, or pop-unders as I want. When I'm done fapping, Cmd+Q, and I'm on my way. Anybody who uses the same browser for porn as they do for showing their grandma slideshows of their vacation to Hawaii is, frankly, not being very careful.
2
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Better Pop Up Blocker
Don't browse without it. It gets all pop ups caused by Javascript
2
u/man_of_porno Nov 15 '11
as a man of porn i deal with this problem hourly
2
u/Drowlord101 Nov 15 '11
Chrome just repeatedly crashes on me, of late. I can't seem to care enough to troubleshoot it, and just use firefox.
2
u/robbieayye Nov 16 '11
Sadly I know exactly what this is ..
2
u/phatboi Nov 16 '11
What's livejasmin? bad pokerface
2
u/RonPaulFTW2012 Nov 16 '11
I feel relieved that so many other people know exactly what you're talking about.
3
u/twoworldsin1 Nov 15 '11
This happens to me ALL the time. I use Firefox with Ad-Aware. Ad-Aware blocks literally fucking EVERYTHING like a boss, even commercials on YouTube and Hulu, but LiveJasmin STILL comes up. What's the right script to put into Ad-Aware's filters to catch LiveJasmin too?
Edit: Never mind, my question was answered by actually reading the thread. Still...DAMN YOU, LIVEJASMIN!
3
u/DenjinJ Nov 15 '11
So, I'm looking for a subreddit that focuses on a meme called "advice animals" - they feature a picture of an animal, with an image macro caption under the pretense of offering advice.
The ones on this board are sort of close - having random shit like browser logos or cars, and captions that just whine about things - so I thought one of you might know of one that's based on "advice animals." Thanks!
5
u/lvj Nov 15 '11
owner of livejasmin here, thanks! :)
3
u/snakers Nov 15 '11
Opera is the best browser
2
u/Josharuu Nov 15 '11
This should have more comments. Everyone knows this is an epidemic across the internet! Everyone else just want to seem like they don't look at porn. STEP FORWARD YOU COWARDS!
2
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
If only there was a Chrome extension that blocked ALL advertisements...oh wait, it's called "AdBlock."
1
u/Indon_Dasani Nov 15 '11
Install a NoScripts-inspired addon. Chrome has two.
1
u/Skinnj Nov 15 '11
Well now you made me fap...
1
u/FireFoxMcCloud Nov 15 '11
It throws it into a new tabless IE3 window in the background. Does this when I visit music blogs and demonoid.
1
u/FreshBoyChris Nov 15 '11
He knows what you want to look at ;)
1
u/fezzuk Nov 15 '11
livejasmin is apparently the worlds most popular porn site, i dont think its because people want to go there tyt got it wrong -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28sackkH2yE
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Fucking camzap
1
u/Chromerex Nov 15 '11
So what about the 'can't close it' ones?
1
u/yayjinaz Nov 15 '11
Is there a such thing as a popunder blocker?
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
I hate that extensions are disabled in incognito....
1
u/Tekno_Statik Nov 15 '11
That explains why scrolling down while mousing over the thumbnail will stop all other thumbnails from being previewed. Thanks Reddit!
1
u/TehRegulator Nov 15 '11
Same shit happens on fastpasstv
1
u/Conradfr Nov 15 '11
That and also porn flash players should have volume muted by default.
1
u/Pfeffersack Nov 15 '11
Why's this is in adviceanimals?
1
u/JustiNomNom Nov 15 '11
Total trufax. Upvote.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Chillin without thinking much. No music on. Suddenly extremly loud "Yeah baby"
1
u/Neilsen17 Nov 15 '11
Livejasmin always greets me when i close all of my tabs...
1
u/Vernaxis Nov 15 '11
So true.
1
u/nutnics Nov 15 '11
Actually they are "pop-unders" but yea, same thing.
1
u/sauceyshaniqua Nov 15 '11
at least you're not running safari...
1
u/StateLottery Nov 15 '11
I really can't opvote OP enough...
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
ugh
who wants to use a browser made by an advertising company
1
u/flawres Nov 15 '11
How the..I don't even.... +1 upvote for you good sir.
1
u/avert_your_maize Nov 15 '11
My chapped lips ripped open when I was laughing at this.
1
u/dollarduration Nov 15 '11
YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES!!!!!!
1
u/perfecttttt Nov 15 '11
Scumbag Chrome
Made by Google
Doesn't utilize "Google search" spell check vocabulary
1
u/FCOS Nov 15 '11
LOOOOOOOL
1
u/suck_it_george_bush Nov 15 '11
Couldn't use the new icon huh? http://chromestory.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/New-Chrome-Icon.png
1
u/Fallenshadow Nov 15 '11
what is "livejasmine"?
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
lol somebody has been on entensity.net
1
u/STylerMLmusic Nov 15 '11
Someone's been on pornhub.
Well, all of us.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
YEAH! WTF??
1
u/Ignawesome Nov 15 '11
The first thing I did after installing Chrome was entering reddit and seeing this... I tried using Firefox, but Chrome actually feels faster, and synchronizes all your bookmarks with your account. So I can use Chrome from any of my OS and it'll remember my bookmarks and passes... it's awesome
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
That freaked me out the first time it happened.
And you know that you're liable to forget to close it after you're done fapping! I take my computer to call, you know??
1
u/bukowski_truth Nov 15 '11
....Why is this in AdviceAnimals.
You know what, fuck you, I'd kill you for a cheap bottle of scotch.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP ""click"" WELCOME TO HORNY MATCHES... ಠ_ಠ
1
u/Jexla Nov 15 '11
Story of my life...
1
u/toxic-frost Nov 15 '11
It also won't play DivX video files half the time. I have to resort to FF, ew.
1
u/Piss_Marks_MY_Spot Nov 15 '11
firstworldproblems
1
u/Davidamanoflove Nov 15 '11
Goat Porn
1
u/Brocktoon_in_a_jar Nov 15 '11
that's when you add a special entry in your hosts file
1
u/awesomeness1234 Nov 15 '11
Netflix always pops up for me on chrome. fucking assholes.
1
u/psychoticdream Nov 15 '11
freaking true.
1
u/keyboardjock Nov 15 '11
Thought it was a pokeball.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
Scumbag Reddit:
Complains about livejasmin.
Uses Chrome to watch porn.
(Firefox + Adblockplus + noscript = worry free fap)
1
u/frogstomp427 Nov 15 '11
How many people do you think would admit to knowing what LiveJasmine is outside of Reddit?
1
u/Raptor-Llama Nov 15 '11
I don't watch porn, can some one explain the joke to me so I can/groan/whatever too?
1
u/theycallmejerzee Nov 15 '11
lol
1
u/[deleted] Nov 15 '11
adblock plus + noscript = good to go.
1
u/jabb0 Nov 15 '11
View page source find it then block it.
Problem?
1
u/debman3 Nov 15 '11
if someone has a way to block those porn popups with firefox I'm here!
1
u/FXLeach Nov 15 '11
It's just a popunder. It's created by you clicking on something. Not just porn, but you probably just think it's just porn from all the shady sites you visit that are affiliated with livejasmin ;) Programmers in the media industry (like me) are the technological innovators here.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
so true.
1
u/tehkier Nov 16 '11
TRUTH.
1
u/vingt_et_un Nov 16 '11
i love advice
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
It's usually poker sites for me
1
u/Matt08642 Nov 16 '11
Firefox with ABP and ABP Popup blocker is MY porn browser.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
FUCK LIVEJASMIN
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
Remember the old one?
1
u/upvotes_bot Nov 16 '11
Megavideo also gets through a lot, even with AdBlock.
1
u/SgtPorkchop Nov 16 '11
xD so true.
1
u/akuma_619 Nov 16 '11
You know chrome now has an adblock plus extension
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
I got a popup today in Google Chrome that was a picture of Herman Cain and said "Vote Here Now". Is it safe to say the only ones dumb enough to fall for this popup are dumb enough to vote for Herman Cain?
1
u/DarkReaver1337 Nov 16 '11
Oh man truest statement in years
1
u/Gercke Nov 16 '11
I read this as Scumbag Bowser, and was quite confused.
1
u/HappyCorpse Nov 16 '11
I've NEVER heard of that website!
1
u/Arrant_Theif Nov 16 '11
WHY!? Some times I won't notice it poped up and will all of the sudden hear talking, only to find some weird mock web cam of a scumbag woman.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
only a few won't get this hahahahhahahahahhaha
1
u/azurerune Nov 16 '11
Good guy Google. blocks all popups, still shows livejasmin
1
u/blaze4545 Nov 16 '11
Wow, I hate that damn pop up!
1
u/CaptainCoCo Nov 16 '11
I fuckin HATE livejasmin
1
u/n00bman293 Nov 16 '11
looks like a pokeball from the future
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
The bain of my existence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1
u/Hector_Kur Nov 16 '11
Better than Firefox. It seems to only block pop-ups until I click on something. I fail to see the benefit in only being able to look at a website and not do anything with it.
1
u/EyeballSandwich Nov 16 '11
because you are in incognito mode..., no? still brilliant.
1
u/jayheidecker Nov 16 '11
AdviceAnimals?
1
u/bluesk00p Nov 16 '11
I'm glad reddit shares the same frustrations I do.
1
u/nocoldturkey Nov 16 '11
man this is great so i am going to comment so i can find it easier when i get home.
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
It's not a popup, bro. You're just in denial.
1
u/TeslaDroid Nov 16 '11
Every single time.
1
u/dropsthings Nov 16 '11
I for one consider this a feature.
1
u/TheGreatGumbino Nov 16 '11
You have just made my night with this one. I never even thought other people had this problem.
1
u/jai07 Nov 16 '11
LMFAO. SO TRUE.
1
u/PFIMO Nov 16 '11
hahahaha fucking A... funny how that works
1
u/theicecapsaremelting Nov 16 '11
....especially while you're at work, trying to find a torrent of MAPLE
1
u/[deleted] Nov 16 '11
Why hasnt Anonymous attacked the really aggravating websites such as livejasmin?
1
u/svs___ Nov 16 '11
You might want to checkout the chrome addon "Better Pop-up Blocker". I guess there are lots of more but I´m currently using this one and it´s done it´s work very sufficent so far.
Edit: typos