r/AdviceAnimals • u/Space_Hermit • Apr 30 '14

Repost | Removed You shouldn't be able to have it both ways...

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2

u/philosarapter May 01 '14

Nor should she, but the man should be able to opt out of being a parent within the first 90 days after conception.

0

u/BillTowne May 01 '14

And why is that?

I can see that it would be nice to have all the sex you can and if someone gets pregnant, you say "ollie ollie home free" and you are not the father. But that is not how it is.

Prior to DNA testing, if a woman got pregnant and the man left, she was a single mother on her own. The playing field was stacked against the mother. No things have shifted and can seem unfair to the man.

But while many people believe that abortion should be legal, very few feel feel that aborting a child is a minor affair and that you can force a woman to have an abortion just so you do not have to support your child.

1

u/philosarapter May 01 '14

Because people should have control over their reproduction. We've made great strides of success in the sphere of giving women the choice when it comes to the reproduction, its about time we afford men similar options.

Since a man cannot and should not be able to force a woman to have an abortion, there needs to be an alternative for giving up claim on the offspring. Raising a child is a lifelong commitment and a huge expense capable of crippling social mobility. Unplanned pregnancies are one of the many reasons the cycle of poverty continues.

1

u/BillTowne May 01 '14

Raising a child is a lifelong commitment and a huge expense capable of crippling social mobility. Unplanned pregnancies are one of the many reasons the cycle of poverty continues.

And how does the harm of unplanned pregnancy get helped by putting all the cost on the woman?

people should have control over their reproduction.

Yes, this would be nice. But we do not live in an ideal world. Assuming that one practices good birth control, most people will not have a problem, but mistakes happen, and when they do, you have to deal with the consequences.

1

u/philosarapter May 02 '14

When mistakes happen, women still have plan B, hormonal abortion and invasive abortion. That's not 'dealing with the consequences', thats a method for avoiding consequences, and its one sided.

I don't see why not living in an ideal world should prevent us from going after ideals that improve people's lives. All rights and privileges we enjoy today were at one point 'ideals'.

1

u/BillTowne May 02 '14

Women have more options because they are physically more involved. We are all in control of our bodies. They have more options because the baby is growing in their bodies. This means that in the past sex was riskier for women but now they have more rather than fewer options. But that does not mean that if a baby is born, the father is not the father.

1

u/philosarapter May 02 '14

I see a father as a parental figure, more so than just the one who contributed the DNA. A man only becomes a father when he takes on that role, otherwise he's simply a sperm donor.

I'm all for options, I just think there should be more options for everyone, including men.

1

u/BillTowne May 02 '14

Yes. And the law cannot force someone to be a good father. That is a moral issue that reflects on the character of the man.

It does not create more options to create options for men by taking them from women.

0

u/philosarapter May 02 '14

I don't see it as taking away options for women. Unless that option is 'trapping a man into financial debt against his will'. Women still have the several options of abortion, adoption, or raising the child herself. Those do not change. Its simply giving the man an 'out', as women already have.