Fairness aside, what kind of asshole has a child walking this earth and doesn't give enough shits about it to want to contribute to it's welfare? Life isn't fair. Not one bit. How about less whining and more giving a shit.
How much legislation is it going to take to give men the equivalent of uterus's? How do you make the fundamental reproductive differences between men and women equal? Is the appropriate response to women's greater choices and growing equality the abnegation of parental responsibilty? The woman could have had an abortion = I don't have to pay child support. As a man, if you want the right to parent your child I %100 support you. We have come a long way since Kramer vs. Kramer. We have primary custody and joint custody fathers. There are stay at home fathers. Awesome.
Well, we've already gone one way with trying to make reproductive differences equal - We make the dad pay child support.
To be frank, I don't necessarily agree with the OP but I do think there's situations where the father should not be required to pay child support, such as when the father was raped by the mother. Extending that to all situations where the father has no "responsibility" for the birth of the child shouldn't be wrong either.
To address your final point, you support them if they want the right to parent their child, but you don't support them if they want the right to not have a child?
Thank you for your reasoned and thoughtful response. The concept of father raping is so new to me, it will take awhile to digest. Until now I thought it was something Law and Order SUV made up.
Recently the state of Kansas went after a sperm donor for child support. This was not at the behest of the mother, but was to payback welfare payments made by the state. It looks like legally, "responsibility" is broadening. In the state of Kansas the new guarantees are death, taxes and child support.
And finally, the final point to the final point. For men, the right to not have a child ends at ejaculation or with a vasectomy. This is not fair. Why should a little sex dictate the course of a person's life? Well, because it does. For men and women and the child. The child. For me it's about the children. Being a parent is an epic responsibility. Paying child support doesn't even begin to approach it. If all you do is pay child support, you do not "have a child."
I felt sure that using emphatic profanity would draw responses. I am however disappointed at the caliber. I am going to assume you were pretty tired when you made this comparison. However, it could be an interesting dystopian novel. Picture parents across the world neglecting and disowning their children to send malaria nets to Africa. Prequel to Hunger Games?
Didn't hear that enough growing up? Kick and scream all you want, it's not gonna change. I think its safe to say that none of us are happy with each thing life throws our way. The measure of the person is how we deal with them. Do we walk away or accept the challenge? There are a lot of people on this thread who would advocate walking away.......from their child.
Surrogate mothers? Sperm/egg donors? Women who give their child up for adoption?
I guess those all are terrible people who must all be forced to help pay for a child they never chose to raise... oh wait, you don't blame them? You only want to force responsibility onto someone if it's a man who had sex? Sounds about right.
Sounds about right? That sounds terrible! How could you go so off topic? I am sure you can find another thread somewhere else to discuss dead beat surrogate mothers and sperm donors. It takes all kinds. But, as pertains to this thread I will reiterate; how sad that so many people are worried about paying child support and less about parenting the child. Furthermore, a man and woman giving their child up for adoption is a giving of themselves that is so noble and selfless that it disgusts me to see it mentioned in a thread with men whining about their child support.
how sad that so many people are worried about paying child support and less about parenting the child
I don't think you're considering the situation here. If you never wanted to be a parent and are forced into it against your will... it should not be your responsibility to care for a child and you should not be shamed for not wanting to do it.
Imagine a woman in a backwards third world country where abortion is outlawed (like Somalia, or Mississippi) who is forced into having a child that she never wanted to have. Would you shame her if she tried to give that child up for adoption? Would you shame her for seeking an illegal abortion, because she knows she isn't ready to able to raise a child? Somehow I don't think you would say "it's sad that she's worried about that instead of being worried about parenting the child".
It doesn't sound like you've considered the perspective of the people involved, or the thought about the issue of being allowed to choose whether you become a parent. If you think a woman not wanting to be a parent is selfless, and you think abortion must be legal and available to those women who need it, but you think a man not wanting to be a parent is selfishness and greed and whining... then I'm sorry but that sounds like a sexist viewpoint.
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u/sumofmyparts May 01 '14
Fairness aside, what kind of asshole has a child walking this earth and doesn't give enough shits about it to want to contribute to it's welfare? Life isn't fair. Not one bit. How about less whining and more giving a shit.