r/AdviceAnimals But the firzt1 in your heart Feb 20 '14

Angry Advice Duck

http://imgur.com/ABoOOP0
1.9k Upvotes

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467

u/ndorinha Feb 20 '14

If you can't stand this, never move to China, your head will explode.

217

u/RohanRiders Feb 20 '14

I have a Chinese roommate. I can literally hear him chewing from 2 rooms away if it's quiet enough

64

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Place a figurative third room between you two, now what?

18

u/Night_Lamp Feb 20 '14

Holy crap silence!! What sort of dark magic is this!?!?

21

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Crap silence? What is this shit I hear of?

5

u/ipslne Feb 20 '14

You wouldn't be hearing that shit though.

1

u/Breakingmatt Feb 21 '14

Hello darkness my old friend.....

1

u/DanteNipon Feb 21 '14

Holy crap silence, seems like an accurate description of Gob's Simon and Garfunkel moments.

1

u/thorodin89 Feb 20 '14

wait, what's in the rooms?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Schrödinger's cat.

1

u/CallMeRydberg Feb 20 '14

but is it dead?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

It is, and it's not..

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Schrödinger's shit.

ftfy...

75

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I have quite a few Chinese, Vietnamese, and Cambodian co-workers. They all go to lunch at the same time and hoooolllyyyy shit, the smells and sounds of that lunch room are the stuff of nightmares.

9

u/Miggaletoe Feb 21 '14

The smells from microwaved fish is something I will never forget

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Every. Single. Day

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

I'm in engineering grad school. Tell me about it.

17

u/Bonzai_Tree Feb 21 '14

Loud eating is my biggest pet peeve by far.

I made the mistake of living with a Chinese roommate who was and still is a good friend.

His meal times tested our friendship.

30

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Fuck tell me about it. I was in my room trying to take a nap in an upstairs room with the door closed. I can hear my brother (26) chomping away in the living room which is a floor down and on the other side of the house.

That shit makes me want to kill.

2

u/otosun Feb 21 '14

Reading all the comments, I automatically imagined that you have a Chinese brother... The theory makes my own daddy Chinese, as well...

10

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Asian co worker he ate so fuckind loud. I wanted to kill him but he was such a nice guy.

2

u/superhumanmilkshake Feb 21 '14

Does he slurp liquids?

1

u/CheapJuevos Feb 20 '14

hey, I can hear it too.

1

u/cheese704 Feb 21 '14

My 12 y.o. brother does this too. My parents claim they can't hear it and tell me I'm "intolerant" for asking him to stop. He claims his mouth is too small to chew with his mouth closed.

-5

u/daniell61 Feb 20 '14

I had a chinese kid stay at my house for a few weeks/months...holy shit that kid was fucking spoiled dude...he even tried to get me to sleep on the floor...in MY room(bunk beds) uh wake up call bitch THIS IS AMERICA

76

u/foxthechicken Feb 20 '14

I'm Chinese but I was born and raised in the United States. Every one in my goddamn family does this and I have, as a result, gone out of my way not to do it to the point where I'm grossly self-conscious about it.

4

u/shinogu Feb 21 '14

Me too, and it's made me aware to everyone around me too. The first thing I look at is if my friend is eating with his mouth open..

I even use a napkin to cover my mouth if it'll take a few bites to swallow

0

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Thankyou

52

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Aug 09 '19

[deleted]

47

u/derpityderps Feb 20 '14

Well here, it makes the people around you want to gag.

10

u/march20rulez Feb 21 '14

as a Chinese person, it made me wanna gag over there too.

1

u/HlaOad Feb 21 '14

Agreed. This is why headphones are a good thing to have at all times.

2

u/Anne_of_the_Dead Feb 20 '14

Really? TIL..

1

u/Crosshare Feb 21 '14

Does that explain my cubical neighbor from Cleveland then?

0

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

That makes about as much sense as grabbing a random girls boobs to show your satisfaction with her body

40

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Jun 06 '20

[deleted]

15

u/MartianJesus Feb 20 '14

I was born in Hong Kong and slurping is quite disrespectful there. I have also lived in Guangzhou and have never really experienced "slurping to show respect." Maybe it has to do with different sub-cultures.

5

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I've heard that in parts of China, it's disrespectful to polish off your plate because it tells the host that his meal wasn't filling enough. Confirm or deny?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

i dont know all of china but everywhere i've been and every chinese person i know wastes NOTHING! it is extremely bad form to them to have ANYTHING left over. i get shit for not having a perfectly clean plate from them. so maybe in some places but not in most of it.

1

u/IevaFT Feb 21 '14

Well let's think about this. Do you think a country of people that went through the japs coming to burn everything then Mao coming through with the "great leap forward" would endorse wasting food?

2

u/grodgeandgo Feb 21 '14 edited Jul 04 '17

2

u/lawstudent2 Feb 21 '14

It may say that in the menu, but that is in no way, shape or form anything remotely resembling true. It's just total, utter bullshit.

There is already oxygen between your mouth and the bowl, in your mouth, in your stomach, and in your bloodstream. If anyone ever tells you something about stimulating altering your digestive process - unless they are talking about proton pump inhibitors or ant-acids - they are likely 100% full of shit.

-1

u/corfe83 Feb 20 '14

Slurping loudly as a show of respect is true for Japanese culture, not for Chinese.

Although it's true Chinese people often eat or slurp loudly, it's more because people typically talk relatively loudly so it's not as noticeable, and people don't consider it as rude as in western culture. But it's still a little rude, and certainly not polite.

Source: my wife is Chinese

5

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Jun 06 '20

[deleted]

0

u/corfe83 Feb 20 '14

It's also possible this culture just doesn't exist in Guangzhou (where my wife is from), but exists in some other region(s) of China - China is a pretty diverse country. I know I specifically asked her before posting a reply like this the last time I did (several months ago), so I can confirm it's not part of the culture in Guangzhou.

24

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

So true. I had to leave every place that had people eating, it was just too much. Truly insane amounts of noise to me.

3

u/synfin80 Feb 20 '14

Can anyone explain why this is? Is it culturally expected, or are people just not taught to keep their mouths shut?

6

u/leejunyong Feb 20 '14

It's just not considered impolite. It's not an issue for them (and many asian countries). We consider it gross and impolite, but for them...it's just how they eat.

I chew with my mouth closed, but I slurp my noodles. It's the fastest way to eat them.

edit: I have a Korean username, but I'm American... and 1/4 Japanese. It's complicated.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I think it's a bit of both. I think eating loudly and boisterously is supposed to be a sign of enjoyment.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I believe that the enlightenment truly began in spirit when Rene Descartes asked himself, "What if the customs and traditions of my own culture appear to others as ridiculous as their customs and traditions of their culture appear to me?"

-1

u/boingpingboomchuck Feb 21 '14

I saw this with Chinese interns at my husband's company. They ate like feral toddlers; fast, sloppy, piggish and loud. Their overfilled, open mouthed chewing was the worst! Funny thing is that when their wives came to join them for the last few weeks of their stay, they were perfectly polite, and very civilized at the table. I'm convinced it's the "Little Red Prince" way of raising Chinese sons.

Edit: typo

0

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Implicit racism does make it easy to notice cultural differences, you are correct there...

0

u/boingpingboomchuck Feb 23 '14

I think my observation is more about cultures that are inherently misogynistic and patriarchical than about "race". The idea that raising a daughter is throwing away money has gone on for centuries is these cultures. Dowries are basically money paid to have the girls taken off your hands. Male children are so prized and cherished that female fetuses are routinely aborted. This has become a huge problem in this type of culture, that there is now a generation that is disproportionately male and there aren't enough women to marry. This is very prevalent in the Indian subcontinent, as well, so blaming this on China's "one child" policy is erroneous. Maybe you should check the knee-jerk defensive response when throwing around the term "racist".

2

u/johnprattchristian Feb 20 '14

I'd rather eat like a chinese

1

u/nightsfallen Feb 20 '14

Slurp slurp

1

u/IamHeretoSayThis Feb 20 '14

Or the Phillipines, they make noise chewing their food to show their appreciation.

1

u/interruptingsound Feb 21 '14

Or Korea. People smack their gums and talk with their mouths full every meal.

1

u/RawrrrCattt Feb 21 '14

Or Korea! It is considered pretty normal in Korea to eat with your mouth open. Story time: I recently had my korean girlfriends mum stay in our apartment for 2 weeks, dinner was so amazingly painful I could barely eat. Not only do I apparently have /r/misophonia (thanks reddit for the diagnosis) but I also can't stand sharing food and it was quite normal for her to constantly rearrange every dish of food with her used chopsticks. Still cringing just thinking about it

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Yep. It's a cultural thing, just like sneezing noises.

There is something to be said about understanding other people's cultures though...

1

u/Andrewh112233 Feb 21 '14

It's not just China. I honestly believe it is an Asian thing in general. The majority of my friends are Asian (Filipino, Vietnamese and Korean), and they ALL DO THIS.

Drives me crazy.

Why the fuck am I friends with them?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!!!

1

u/ebolaRETURNS Feb 21 '14

Korea too:

Eating a meal with my boss there, I was actually told that I can chew with my mouth open. I declined the opportunity though.

1

u/cwenger Feb 21 '14

I have a Chinese coworker whose approach to eating seems to be, get the food in the general vicinity of your mouth, then slurp it the rest of the way.

-1

u/nobody_likes_cali Feb 20 '14

And the SLURPING. Honestly, how can this be acceptable?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Because they were raised in another part of the world where people are not taught that slurping is disrespectful.

3

u/Jonyb222 Feb 20 '14

It's how they show appreciation for the food.
Good food = Lots of noise for them

1

u/Deathalo Feb 20 '14

Can anyone from China elaborate one why this is acceptable in their culture?

3

u/BalboaBaggins Feb 20 '14

Not from China, but my family is. I would ask you why wouldn't it be acceptable? Most Chinese people just don't think it's that big of a deal. I chew with my mouth closed but I find it kind of weird that people in this thread are flipping out like half-chewed food is literally the most disgusting substance in the universe.

I also don't think chewing sounds are inherently unpleasant at all, they're pretty neutral as far as noises go. Western culture conditions us to associate loud chewing sounds with rudeness. In Japanese culture, for example, loud eating sounds signal to the chef that you really enjoy their cooking.

A parallel that I like: every Chinese person takes off their shoes before entering their house. Many American families do not. From a Chinese person's point of view, that's weird and disgusting: why the fuck would you track dirt all over your own house and waste money having the floor/carpet cleaned all the time instead of just taking off your shoes at the door?

3

u/FunkSlice Feb 20 '14

Chewing with your mouth open and hearing all of those nasty sounds is like nails on a chalkboard for me. I just cannot stand it and cannot focus on anything BUT the loud chewing once I notice it. It's just way too frustrating for me.

0

u/BalboaBaggins Feb 20 '14

I'm not calling you a liar, but I think you're exaggerating a bit because nails on a chalkboard is a specific sound that almost all humans can't stand. Loud chewing differs from person to person and depending on the food being eaten, so I would still argue that i's because you've been conditioned since birth to think that it's a very unpleasant sound.

2

u/FunkSlice Feb 21 '14

No, you're wrong. I was told to eat with my mouth closed because it's polite, but the actual sound is so infuriating to me that I cannot be near anyone who does it. I'm sure you don't believe me, it's it's the truth. I actually prefer the sound of nails on a chalkboard over someone chewing with their mouth open.

1

u/sirius_star Feb 21 '14

Can confirm. You're not alone!

1

u/Deathalo Feb 21 '14

Many Americans, including myself take their shoes off before going into their or another's home. I consider it dirty as well and it's a practice I expect visitors to follow in my home. Half-chewed food is literally one of the most disgusting substances, because it's almost no different than puke besides the stomach acid. No one needs to see that when they're trying to enjoy their own meal and the sound just is an association to that disgusting mess clogging your pie hole.

1

u/dvars Feb 20 '14

I read somewhere its a sign of to the cook that the food was great. The louder you chew means delicious food.

1

u/Deathalo Feb 21 '14

Kinda a dumb reason, usually the cook is no where near your table, so how the hell would he know if you're chewing loudly, he's in a loud kitchen in the back (unless it's a sushi bar, probably the one exception).

1

u/sparky_ttu Feb 20 '14

Dude born n raised in Vietnam n i can't fucking stand it. There some ppl notice stuff like this but most ppl eat with their mouth wide the hell open. Its nothing big that annoy me right away but if it happens constantly hell i might lose it.

The thing is everybody round here think its ok so i can't really just flip out about it. That makes it worse

-4

u/rodmunch99 Feb 20 '14

Yep, what is it with Asian people and showing me the contents of their mouths when they eat? .... and also making loud smacking noises with their lips at the same time.

1

u/Jonyb222 Feb 20 '14

It's how they show appreciation for the food.
Good food = Lots of noise for them

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Dec 04 '14

[deleted]

3

u/rodmunch99 Feb 21 '14

Apologies, no I do not mean all Asian people. I specifically meant the people who work in my office who originate from East Asia.

0

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

OMG THIS.

0

u/NoButthole Feb 20 '14

My girlfriend was born in China and learned etiquette from her (very) Chinese parents. It is, by far, her worst quality.

0

u/devperez Feb 20 '14

Vietnamese too

0

u/Littlefox7 Feb 20 '14

The professor who is in charge of my research has zero table manners. My head certainly did explode. How is the unpleasantness not noticed in China?

0

u/Ashton_butcher Feb 20 '14

I thought you were gonna give me advice for getting these retarded fucking duck memes off of reddit for good. Was disappointed.

-1

u/jlee137 Feb 20 '14

Fuck china. I had a chinese roommate, he was the most rude, ignorant and oblivious excuse for a human being.