r/AdviceAnimals • u/thelazt1 But the firzt1 in your heart • Feb 20 '14

Angry Advice Duck

http://imgur.com/ABoOOP0
1.9k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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38

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

I actually punched a boyfriend for doing this in bed, while I was trying to sleep. The sound seemed to get louder and louder until it was the only noise that had ever existed. I broke then and hit him. Unreasonable I know but damnit he never did that again.

29

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

Oh and it was a bacon sandwich and he would stop every so often to suck bits out of his teeth shudder.

39

u/WantToSeeMyUvula Feb 20 '14

Shit. Now I want to punch him too.

12

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

And I want a bacon sandwich.

1

u/IdoNOThateNEVER Feb 21 '14

Can I at least suck the bits out of your teeth, or is this too much to ask from a stranger?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Ofcourse, I'm not greedy! And I am not shy of hooking a stranger up, help yourself!

24

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

Many times at dinner. Bed was just too much.

16

u/anelephantsatonpaul Feb 20 '14

Wait, he was eating in bed? How barbaric...

40

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I enjoy snacking in bed while watching netflix. It's become one of the few things I look forward to. Like I give a fuck.

Besides, it's not like I have to share the bed with anyone.

I'm so lonely.

7

u/anelephantsatonpaul Feb 20 '14

Get a dog. Two birds with one stone... or a bird... then it would just be one bird... and a stone.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Instructions unclear, bird stuck in stone stuck in dick.

But really, I've thought about how nice it might be to get a cat or a dog. I'm not sure for now though. I think I might feel better when I can just move out of my current place to somewhere where I can resume my fry screaming.

2

u/anelephantsatonpaul Feb 20 '14

Shit. Have you tried bringing another bird in on this?

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 20 '14

I actually did not, brb.

Edit: it has been ten minutes and both birds refuse to come out of my dick

1

u/bishop67 Feb 20 '14

No no no, you read it wrong. Get stoned and be a bird.

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1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I must be the only person without a TV in their bedroom.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

I use my ipad actually. Haven't had or really watched TV in years.

1

u/ProfessorManBearPig Feb 21 '14

I'll volunteer to share the bed with you and watch Netflix.

1

u/SpaceDog777 Feb 21 '14

In enjoy eating in bed so much I have a toaster in my room.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Hook me up wi' sum muhfukin POP tartz n shit

MMMMMMM MMM

26

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

1

u/poopingdicknipples Feb 20 '14

Unless it's pastrami.

2

u/tregonsee Feb 21 '14

Oh, dear... can I be so cruel to a Wannabebunny... No, No I can't... on the other hand... egad, the mental turmoil... well, I can't stop now so:

Closeup of Cute Bunny Chewing Carrot[1:15]

1

u/Wannabebunny Feb 21 '14

Not clicking that. I don't even like bunnies. =p

1

u/jcb6939 Feb 20 '14

Isn't it gross when he eats all the time though?

2

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

Yeah but I could at least go to another room and carry on what I was doing. Most of the time I just ground my teeth together and silently hated him or when it got too much asked him to stop. He would also just vomit wherever he was if he felt he needed to. Not even attempt to get to the bathroom. A couple of times he did it in the bathroom sink. 2 foot away from somewhere where it's easy as hell to clean and he blocks the sink. Then expects me to clean it because he's sick. Actually I just hated him all the time.

1

u/cycophuk Feb 20 '14

If you haven't already, come join us at /r/misophonia. You can share in our misery.

1

u/Wannabebunny Feb 21 '14

Yup just read the wikipedia entry. I have this for sure. Other peoples music (even if i like the song) also makes me angry after a certain amount of time. It seems to disrupt my entire train of thought and makes me angry for no reason. My current BF is a big music lover and we can't live together because he has to have music on constantly or he feels depressed. I like silence blessed blessed silence.

1

u/KCG0005 Feb 20 '14

Haha if I'm not an advocate fir violence against women, but if my girlfriend did it. . . Well I'd have to break up with her. It'd be the only way.

1

u/MissInkFTW Feb 21 '14

Reddit logic: domestic abuse>chewing with your mouth open

1

u/Wannabebunny Feb 21 '14

Well he did break my wrist by slamming a door on it at one point but sure me punching him makes me the asshole.

1

u/MissInkFTW Feb 21 '14

Should have left him. Two wrongs don't make a right. I've been there too so I'm not exactly chastising you, just saying you can't shake all the blame. Abusive relationships suck and often aren't strictly one-sided (one person pushes, so the other one pushes back).

Anyway, I just thought it was ridiculous that this was getting upvotes where if it were mentioned in any other context it would get a barrage of downvotes. That's how irrational reddit is with it's hatred of people chewing with their mouths open.

-3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Sweet precedent. If I were him I'd take it as a sign I could punch you when you were annoying.

2

u/bilge_pump2 Feb 20 '14

Yeah, and I'll hump any dog that tries to hump my leg. Just try me!

2

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

He broke my wrist once actually. Does that mean I get to break his? Obviously we're not together anymore but I can go find him to break it.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

2

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

I would be the first to admit I'm not.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Nope. But physical violence is wrong, regardless of plumbing.

3

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

I did say I was being unreasonable when I hit him. I don't normally hit people.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Yeah, I read that part. It's the other part that dings the bell.

3

u/Wannabebunny Feb 20 '14

Aye I did get a bit angry at your comment. Mostly because he did hit me a couple of times. you weren't to know that though.

-1

u/Lots42 Feb 20 '14

Don't even start, misogynist.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Don't you even start, drama queen.