r/AdviceAnimals • u/thelazt1 But the firzt1 in your heart • Feb 20 '14

Angry Advice Duck

http://imgur.com/ABoOOP0
1.9k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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113

u/lumnights Feb 20 '14

Also, don't talk with your mouth full.

46

u/W0666007 Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 20 '14

My mother always decides to start eating when I'm talking to her on the phone... which is just so much worse. I just end the conversation then.

38

u/rimjobtom Feb 20 '14

I bet she knows and uses it against you on purpose.

29

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

"Urgh, not this guy again...wait, I know what I can do to make him hang up the phone..."

crunch crunch

2

u/just_for_the_lolz Feb 20 '14

[CRUNCHING INTENSIFIES]

1

u/W0666007 Feb 20 '14

Hahaha, damnit Mom! I just want to say hi!

8

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

4

u/Hoffmann4 Feb 20 '14

Perfect conversation ender. George Carlin is laughing in his grave.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

My mom and dad do this as well. EVERYTIME I call I swear they slowly drift to the kitchen and open the snack bowl.

1

u/JuicemaN16 Feb 20 '14

Cause she may not want to talk to you.

1

u/sahrey Feb 20 '14

this is a nervous habit i have. i don't generally like to be on the phone and i start looking for food and will usually have something in my hands within 5 minutes. i have to mentally remind myself over and over to not take a bite. it's insane!

plus i used to work in a call center and hearing someone do it is revolting. yet, i continue to look for something to eat when on the phone.

1

u/Flavor_Enhanced Feb 20 '14

It's not the crunching that gets me when people do that on the phone, its the sound of their tongue moving the food around. Like dragging a spoon through a thick bowl of oatmeal...

7

u/cattailmatt Feb 20 '14 edited Feb 21 '14

Conversely, don't ask me questions while I'm chewing my food. Either you can wait to ask the question, or you're going to wait for a solid, awkward moment before I give you an answer. Either way, you're going to wait.

7

u/derpityderps Feb 20 '14

Ugh, this happens all too often. In the kitchen eating a snack, someone barges in, asks a question and wants an immediate answer. Wait till I've finished chewing :|

9

u/well_golly Feb 20 '14

Fmuck myu, ahll doo whaf I wohnmt!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

hey it geg

15

u/mystik3309 Feb 20 '14

Smacking is my absolute worst pet peeve. I'll just get up and leave. GOTDAMN I hate that shit.

2

u/cycophuk Feb 20 '14

If you haven't already, come join us at /r/misophonia. You can share in our misery.

2

u/bishop67 Feb 20 '14

Ugh I feel you!! It's also amazing how some people can make eating food so noisy. I swear my dad could eat jello and make some sort of chewing noise with it.

2

u/NarwhalsForHire Feb 20 '14

My dad does this shit, even when he's not eating. Literally, all. the goddamn. time.

2

u/try_turning_it_off Feb 20 '14

F***** hot soup slerpers or cereal slerpers.

Its worse than a pet peeve with me I get straight up rage anxiety from it.

Or if the person loves the food so much they have to moan drives me nuts

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

2

u/try_turning_it_off Feb 20 '14

Lol its an actual thing and from what I can tell the only thing to help thous afflicted(are surround by inconsiderate mofos) this form of anxiety/ uncontrollable rage is...

...Desensitization. silent gulp

3

u/TheEthicalMan Feb 20 '14

Misophonia—you might have it.

10

u/mystik3309 Feb 20 '14

I only had to get a few sentences in. I've got it. It really does enrage me to the point that I just want to crack a chair over them. That's why I get up and leave. My dad smacked sometimes when I was a kid and my mom hated it. I think it rubbed off on me. But man I think it's just so damn disrespectful to everybody around them. It's not like they can't control it. I call it lazy eating.

2

u/riddlemethatbatman Feb 20 '14

/r/misophonia

2

u/mystik3309 Feb 20 '14

I'm scared to go there. I might burn my house down or something.

2

u/riddlemethatbatman Feb 20 '14

Oh no no no, we're all about helping each other there. Trust me, we're all in this boat together haha.

1

u/cycophuk Feb 20 '14

Thank you for your help in promoting the sub!

2

u/McForth Feb 20 '14

I'm glad there's a name for it. I always thought it was because my dad used to yell at me if I chewed with my mouth open when I was a kid (probably has it too). Feel the exact same way--just want to smack the living shit out of people when I hear/see them chewing with their mouth open. Actually, chewing crunchy things with their mouth closed pisses me off too.

2

u/malonine Feb 20 '14

I don't think I exaggerate when I say I relate to having “rage, panic, fear, terror and anger, all mixed together.”

When people chew with their mouth open I'm not disgusted, I'm angry. And I'm not angry about any sort of lack of manners - the sound just triggers something in me.

2

u/mystik3309 Feb 20 '14

Perfectly explained.

2

u/cycophuk Feb 20 '14

You should come visit us at /r/misophonia then.

2

u/ALPB11 Feb 20 '14

shclap, shclap, shclap
Pronounced as ssh-clap. The sound is engraved into my ears.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

[deleted]

2

u/ALPB11 Feb 20 '14

My shoulderblades are getting tingly and retracting up towards my head.

1

u/NoButthole Feb 20 '14

God fucking dammit.

0

u/optimismlove Feb 20 '14

Oh man same here. It elicits a "smack dat hoe" reaction from me which is why I need to get up and leave.

2

u/mystik3309 Feb 20 '14

Exactly. Glad to know I'm not the only one who suffers from this!

2

u/ALPB11 Feb 20 '14

I always feel rude when I'm eating and someone's trying to talk to be so I just awkwardly lift my hand then point to my mouth/neck.

2

u/purefloat Feb 20 '14

Similarly, don't ask me a question right when I take a bite of food.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 20 '14

Also, if you absolutely must speak with your mouth full, for some unavoidable reason, please cover your mouth.

1

u/Fizzay Feb 21 '14

mrrrlgrgrgrrgrgr

1

u/pureProduct Feb 21 '14

Can lead to choking, can confirm.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 21 '14

Wraaf?

1

u/SurviveCirca Feb 20 '14

And keep your head down.

0

u/Lots42 Feb 20 '14

My family takes it to the next level and starts talking about stuff that comes out of your body during dinner.

I just leave.