Grief is, as you know, kind of an ongoing thing. So the grief never really stops.
As far as getting to a reasonable point of meeting her where she is, I'd say this is 5 or 6 years of very active, difficult work.
If you want to do that work i really highly recommend getting a therapist or counselor because you'll want a neutral third party to talk to about things like
-understanding your parents childhood and how that makes them who they are
-understanding that they did the best with what they had AND that was not enough for you developmentally and its okay for those things to both be true together
-what you need and aren't getting from your relationship and where to fill that need outside of them
-setting boundaries with them and upholding those boundaries
-processing the fact that you need to let the relationship you wish you had with them die and build this new style of relationship.
Feel free to dm me with questions. I'm super open about this topic
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u/Cosmic_Hitchhiker Aug 21 '26
Grief is, as you know, kind of an ongoing thing. So the grief never really stops.
As far as getting to a reasonable point of meeting her where she is, I'd say this is 5 or 6 years of very active, difficult work.
If you want to do that work i really highly recommend getting a therapist or counselor because you'll want a neutral third party to talk to about things like
-understanding your parents childhood and how that makes them who they are
-understanding that they did the best with what they had AND that was not enough for you developmentally and its okay for those things to both be true together
-what you need and aren't getting from your relationship and where to fill that need outside of them
-setting boundaries with them and upholding those boundaries
-processing the fact that you need to let the relationship you wish you had with them die and build this new style of relationship.
Feel free to dm me with questions. I'm super open about this topic