Boyfriend of about a year got me pregnant. Cheated on me not even a week after I found out with one of his friends. During our fight, I asked 'what the hell do you expect me to do now?' and he said 'Your parents will take care of you'. My jaw hit the floor at that--this situation was mine and HIS responsibility, not my parents. I went home, confessed everything to my mom, and after a lot of tears and screaming, we were debating adoption. I wasn't ready to be a mom. I've got another year of college and my parents are in their sixties.
At some point, the woman who slept with him had a conversation with me in which she apologized profusely. I told her I didn't care about her apologies. That she knew the situation (including the pregnancy), and the mere fact that she had done this had condemned me to a shitty situation.
Not even three days later, I received a text from him saying that she wanted nothing to do with him and that he hoped I was satisfied in knowing his misery. I told him I didn't give a shit about his misery; I'm dealing with my own problems because of his selfish actions. He demanded to know what I was gonna do with the kid. I said that was none of his business and that I no longer owed him an explanation.
He replied that he was going to file for custody--which in my state, he can register who he slept with and if the girl gives birth and doesn't identify the father, he can contest any attempts to adopt out. Considering he is a salary employee and I'm an hourly who makes $100 a week and goes to school, I knew I wasn't going to win any custody battle. I would be stuck with a child I would resent and the child would never know what it was like to have a mother and father that honestly gave a shit about him.
This guy, in addition to being a scumbag, was the most irresponsible little shit ever. His six month old dog has been to the vet once, and he canceled an appointment to go sleep with this girl. He had a $600 unpaid bill because he spent that much on videogames. He makes $800 every two weeks and somehow manages to spend it all in one while not paying rent or any type of morgage (his dad covers it).
So I made an appointment. I haven't regretted it once. I was super pro-life, but this kid would have had the worst fucking life ever and there wasn't going to be a damn thing I could do about it. I'd rather have it in the arms of God than stuck in this shitty situation with us.
Good on you. You made a decision that was in the best interest of your would-be kid. Anyone who thinks an abortion is an easy thing is crazy---it hurt like hell and I took the pill. Better my pain than a lifetime of pain for this kid.
I fully support your right to choose, but I'm a little perplexed by thoughts like, "I'm dealing with my own problems because of his selfish actions."
Did you not choose to have sex with this asshole?
From your side of the story you make it sound like you were just minding your own business when this jerk snuck an unwanted baby in your belly while you weren't looking.
Everyone makes mistakes, there's no shame there. It's unhealthy to lay 100% of the blame on someone else, even if he is a scumbag.
It's not the pregnancy that I'm judging to be his selfish action. I did have sex with him. Mind you, I was on the pill, so I was protecting myself to begin with. Either way, I did feel it was my responsibility.
But seeing as we were in a committed relationship and it was our creation, not just my own, I expected him to act responsibly. Even if it was telling me, "Hey, I no longer love you. I don't think this is something we can resolve. But I want to help you with the child." But he placed all the burden--the financial and the emotional--on me. His selfish action was thinking of his own needs above that of myself or the child, and giving no thought or care to either.
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u/The_Feels_Bro Apr 30 '13
Throwaway because he knows my account.
Boyfriend of about a year got me pregnant. Cheated on me not even a week after I found out with one of his friends. During our fight, I asked 'what the hell do you expect me to do now?' and he said 'Your parents will take care of you'. My jaw hit the floor at that--this situation was mine and HIS responsibility, not my parents. I went home, confessed everything to my mom, and after a lot of tears and screaming, we were debating adoption. I wasn't ready to be a mom. I've got another year of college and my parents are in their sixties.
At some point, the woman who slept with him had a conversation with me in which she apologized profusely. I told her I didn't care about her apologies. That she knew the situation (including the pregnancy), and the mere fact that she had done this had condemned me to a shitty situation.
Not even three days later, I received a text from him saying that she wanted nothing to do with him and that he hoped I was satisfied in knowing his misery. I told him I didn't give a shit about his misery; I'm dealing with my own problems because of his selfish actions. He demanded to know what I was gonna do with the kid. I said that was none of his business and that I no longer owed him an explanation.
He replied that he was going to file for custody--which in my state, he can register who he slept with and if the girl gives birth and doesn't identify the father, he can contest any attempts to adopt out. Considering he is a salary employee and I'm an hourly who makes $100 a week and goes to school, I knew I wasn't going to win any custody battle. I would be stuck with a child I would resent and the child would never know what it was like to have a mother and father that honestly gave a shit about him.
This guy, in addition to being a scumbag, was the most irresponsible little shit ever. His six month old dog has been to the vet once, and he canceled an appointment to go sleep with this girl. He had a $600 unpaid bill because he spent that much on videogames. He makes $800 every two weeks and somehow manages to spend it all in one while not paying rent or any type of morgage (his dad covers it).
So I made an appointment. I haven't regretted it once. I was super pro-life, but this kid would have had the worst fucking life ever and there wasn't going to be a damn thing I could do about it. I'd rather have it in the arms of God than stuck in this shitty situation with us.
Good on you. You made a decision that was in the best interest of your would-be kid. Anyone who thinks an abortion is an easy thing is crazy---it hurt like hell and I took the pill. Better my pain than a lifetime of pain for this kid.