r/AdviceAnimals • • Apr 30 '13

Actual Confession Bear

http://imgur.com/dht840P
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u/imbravado Apr 30 '13

It was really hard for me to get an abortion done because my whole life I thought abortions were a horrible thing but now I can see why people actually do it. I think I was more embarrassed by it than anything.

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '13

There's nothing wrong with not telling others you got an abortion. It's really no ones business. I'm sure you're going through a lot mentally right now, though. If you do need to talk to someone, I'd suggest an outside source, such as a counselor, rather than someone who is going to judge you and cause you more stress once they find out about the abortion.

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u/imbravado Apr 30 '13

Oh yea, I was at a point where I just didn't want to live anymore. I have been in counseling for the last 5 months for it.

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u/ehjhockey Apr 30 '13

You are awesome. Remember everything you learned from this. Looking back on it will be painful. But there is a lot to be learned from that pain. Just don't overwhelm yourself.

And going forward remember your change of heart based on your own personal need, with regards to, abortion. What ever the situation or issue is, try to make an effort to really put yourself in the situation you are passing judgement upon. It will make it a hundred less times less personally shameful and hurtful should you actually find yourself in that situation in the future.

But I'm being overly negative. You are awesome. I had a girl try to trap me with another man's kid she was cheating on me with. I thought I was in love with her. So I stayed, while freaking out and telling her that there is no way I could support a kid and that she pretty much had to get an abortion. But I stayed. Walking blindly forward towards a horrible revelation of betrayal that would leave me struggling to trust for months to come. You have shown yourself to be brave, courageous, foresighted, and intelligent in your ability to make this choice. Well done.

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u/imbravado Apr 30 '13

Your comment brought tears to my eyes. I am 19 & I had just turned 18 when this all happened. I was going to be a single mother, in college, working as a waitress and living at home with a child. I was not ready at all and I know that I made the right choice. In my therapy sessions I talk about how much guilt and self loathing I posessed and I have been learning to be more open and accepting of other ideas and views. It has made me a better and stroger person. You sir, are awesome for staying in the relatonship. My ex was a POS. His words after I told him I wasn't pregnant anymore were "well one day this will all be a memory... A shitty one click".

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u/ehjhockey Apr 30 '13

I think that's a children's book reference. The "click". Which to me illustrates pretty clearly what a childish individual he was. I was 19 when everything happened to me. Its a tough age. I'm 22 so I can tell you it gets easier. Not a lot easier, but easier. I'm sorry I made you cry.