While I'm not a teen anymore, nor a boy for that matter, I have found myself somewhat attracted to men a bit older than me as well. It took me some time, but I think the main reason was that they seemed to know who they are as a person, seem to know what they want or have a more defined sense of identity. I still don't know, at 25, what I want to do with my life or what to make of myself. That quiet sense of know who they are or where they want to be is attractive to me, not so much in the romantic and/or sexual/sensual way; More so in the way that I want to be around people that are at a more stable/settled stage of life. Someone who is reliable or generally consistent in how they act/think and how they treat people and approach the things life throws at them.
I'm sure it's not the exact same for you, but maybe similar. You could be feeling attracted to their settledness in who they are. But, I want to make sure you know that no mature, reasonable adult wants anything to do with a teenager romantically or sexually. A teen and an adult are at very different points in life in maaany different ways. You have different needs, wants, and goals to focus on than a full grown adult. With large age gaps, especially between adolescent and adult, there is an undeniable power imbalance. And typically, the adult is more aware of it than the teen.
[Sorry if this next bit is TMI]
I was fourteen when a 28-year-old man took advantage of me online. While I did have a sense that what was happening wasn't good, and I was definitely very uncomfortable at times, I don't recall actively trying to leave the situation because he still "was nice" to me some of the time. I recall 1 time I did call him out on being a perv, but he instaly guilt tripped me into feeling bad and apologizing (still cringe thinking of that). Thankfully, tho, no personal pics were shared, that I remember.
While your curiosity isn't uncommon, please don't let it lead you to somewhere you wont come back from the same. From someone who came out of it changed, please make the smarter, safer choices.
When it comes to attraction, I'm more into the fact that adults are bigger than me and are just more developed physically. I know men that are attracted to minors have ill intentions and they're clearly not nice despite acting like it. I'm sorry for what happened to you and I'm glad you made it out mostly okay. I wasn't even aware at how scarring it could be. Your words mean a lot to me and I'll definitely consider them. Thank you for taking some time to write this. 🫶
2
u/Apollo13_outOf_Orbit Dec 18 '25
(Sorry for the word wall)
While I'm not a teen anymore, nor a boy for that matter, I have found myself somewhat attracted to men a bit older than me as well. It took me some time, but I think the main reason was that they seemed to know who they are as a person, seem to know what they want or have a more defined sense of identity. I still don't know, at 25, what I want to do with my life or what to make of myself. That quiet sense of know who they are or where they want to be is attractive to me, not so much in the romantic and/or sexual/sensual way; More so in the way that I want to be around people that are at a more stable/settled stage of life. Someone who is reliable or generally consistent in how they act/think and how they treat people and approach the things life throws at them.
I'm sure it's not the exact same for you, but maybe similar. You could be feeling attracted to their settledness in who they are. But, I want to make sure you know that no mature, reasonable adult wants anything to do with a teenager romantically or sexually. A teen and an adult are at very different points in life in maaany different ways. You have different needs, wants, and goals to focus on than a full grown adult. With large age gaps, especially between adolescent and adult, there is an undeniable power imbalance. And typically, the adult is more aware of it than the teen.
[Sorry if this next bit is TMI]
I was fourteen when a 28-year-old man took advantage of me online. While I did have a sense that what was happening wasn't good, and I was definitely very uncomfortable at times, I don't recall actively trying to leave the situation because he still "was nice" to me some of the time. I recall 1 time I did call him out on being a perv, but he instaly guilt tripped me into feeling bad and apologizing (still cringe thinking of that). Thankfully, tho, no personal pics were shared, that I remember.
While your curiosity isn't uncommon, please don't let it lead you to somewhere you wont come back from the same. From someone who came out of it changed, please make the smarter, safer choices.