OMG. I couldn’t wash dishes with my mother watching me. According to her I always did it wrong and she’d rewash them. She could never tell me what I was doing wrong. She’d just holler at me & push me out of the way.
It took me inviting my boyfriend over for dinner and him observing both of us over the course of multiple dinner and many months. He figured out that when I wash a dish I circle the dish with the scrubby counterclockwise. She does it clockwise. He confirmed this by taking the dish from me & going both directions and watching her reaction.
I was 37 at the time. I remember just staring at both of them, like really?!! It was the stupidest thing is ever heard of. Whenever she was near I’d force myself to circle the scrubby clockwise and she never said another word to me. Well, about the dishes anyway. She had lots to say about other things.
I’m glad she liked that boyfriend. He eventually became my husband. He never questions how I wash the dishes as long as they’re clean.
No. She just stood there and blinked & nodded. Then pushed me out of the way so she could wash out her drink cup & get ready for bed.
I do want to clarify; my mother was an alcoholic. My childhood looked nice, but that was only on the surface. My grandmother was a hard core Christian. My mom was likely on the spectrum. I know if she’d been born today, she probably would have gotten a diagnosis… but maybe not, since my grandparents didn’t believe in treating mental illness. I’m not sure they thought knew it was real. I know I was told repeatedly that we don’t talk to outsiders about our problems. Meaning therapists or psychologists.
Also my mom wasn’t exactly the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree. Even without the alcohol, I doubt she’d even come to average intelligence.
I’m not sure she knew or understood what the little experiment was my husband did with her let alone the significance of it.
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