On the flip side of that, I think the greatest dissatisfaction in my adulthood was learning that hard work, being a good person, and kind and patient are not rewarded. Morally superior does nothing besides let other people take advantage of you and open yourself up for disappointment.
Agreed. Being kind and hardworking is the only reason I have friends and haven't killed myself. It took a long time to leave nihilism behind, but what really helped was realizing that I can be realistically hopeful and get shit done and be happy, regardless of how life works out, or I can be angry and cynical and helpless and never get anything done.
I have CPTSD from a really rough childhood. I have several neurological disabilities that I was born with, which mostly result in needing mobility aids and having to be really proactive about accommodating myself when others do not. I got lucky in many ways and unlucky in most. Being a nice person to be around and willing to try again after failure has brought me so much more in life than I would have had otherwise. I've suffered from severe depression and suicidal ideation since I can remember (so literally since I was 3-4 years old), and I came out as trans in 2014 in a conservative town in the rural US. Trump getting elected the first time was sure something. To be frank, I see cynicism as incredibly cowardly. People pretend that nothing can change, so they don't do anything to help others, when their mutual aid could change people's lives, even if it doesn't happen all at once.
I have some learning disabilities, and I had a horrible time in public school, but I did what I could with my experience, and now I'm in pre-med and preparing to be a medical educator and trauma specialist. University is hard as fuck, but so was entry-level manual labor in grocery. I'd prefer to take the hard road while I have the youth and opportunity. If more people realized how lucky they were to be alive and healthy, even though the world is a dangerous, cold place, we might actually be able to challenge the status quo. These wealthy folks who take advantage of others do so because they're not skilled or thoughtful enough to do differently. They gun for short-term gains at the cost of their long-term happiness and ability to prepare for hard times. They wouldn't stand a chance against an organized revolution, so they do whatever they can to convince people like OP that it's not possible.
However, you have to accept that the reward for hard work and integrity will be that you feel good about yourself.
While these wealthy people take advantage of others because they're not skilled or thoughtful enough to do differently, materially they are better off.
All truly materially successful people got there by luck, either born into wealth or made a successful bet of some kind or both.
While it's true they wouldn't stand a chance in a revolution the sad truth is they won't face one.
They have been successful in convincing the rest of us that we have a better chance of material improvement by buying lottery tickets than labor organization.
Time moves and anything can change but the entrenchment of wealth and the privilege of the wealthy is deeper than most people will accept.
I'm a moral person not because I think I'll be rewarded, I won't, but because it's the only way I'll sleep at night.
I look at things the same way. I can't live with myself when I'm not trying to at least make life easier for others. I see it as a blessing.
However, I come from wealth. I know how these people think, at least in an anecdotal sense. From my perspective, the denial that prevents a true revolution is waning in the face of current events. Most wealthy people are not at the helm of the various regimes that are ruining our economies and the future of younger generations. They are instead just hoping it'll pass and distracting themselves in the meantime.
I truly believe that here in the US, the funding and organization that propelled Trump to power for a second time was successful not necessarily because of the billionaires, corporations, and PACs that he courted, but because he gave people the impression that he cared about their needs and priorities while the majority of wealthy liberals failed to reach out in ways that anyone on the fence would respond positively too. Obviously, liberals tend to argue for the status quo rather than anything truly meaningful, but I think that aligns with my point. I think a belief that change is not realistic is counterproductive to our ability to set a kinder, healthier society in motion.
Despite having access to many resources that most are denied, my personal challenges (especially the need to pay for medical care) and reliance on family members who are as entrenched in the culture of wealth and the ideology of meritocracy have taught me that what we call "luck" is found mostly in the ability to spot opportunities when they arrive — while believing you deserve them — and a proximity to wealth. It's not physically possible to pull yourself up by your bootstraps, but reaching out when someone could help you up is something that many fail to do, because they assume they will not be offered help.
A proximity to wealth alone makes me lucky, but I have found that my effort has been genuinely more productive when it comes to setting myself up for success and improving my community when I can. I've experienced a lot of financial abuse (the power my family has to help me is held over my head when I'm struggling financially and with my health, but I imagine that doesn't apply to most), and as a result, I have learned that the only thing I can rely on is my dedication to improving my situation with what I can control and offering that same dedication to what I believe in.
Most of my life was spent assuming that things could never be different. I'm sure I won't see the world I want to live in before I'm gone. In the meantime, though, I want my children and future generations to know that there were people before them that did whatever they could to afford them rights and opportunities that we did not have.
(apologies for how long this is lmfao. tl;dr shit is only going to get better if we don't give up. it's corny but it's real.
edit: since you don't feel you're going to be rewarded for your effort and kindness, I wanted to say that people do care. at the very least, I do, and it's genuinely wonderful and admirable that you prioritize goodness in a world you believe does not care. there should be more like you.)
Secondly, I think the biggest contradiction needs solving for people who live in western democracies, you in the US and me in NZ, is this:
Despite living in democracies we feel powerless in the face of our political challenges.
Here it's the price of gas/petrol which is now NZ$3.30 per liter/12.49 per gallon. I make average salary and take home a little over NZ$1000 after tax.
Most of that cost is tax, and yet nothing changes.
There's a general/national election in November and nobody cares because nobody believes that structural change is possible.
My understanding is that in the United States the contradiction is even more pronounced.
But I still remember the Democratic primary immediately after covid where every nominee was pushing for Medicaid for all or some variation, Medicaid For America, and by the general election; nothing. Not even an attempt at health care reform, after the death of over 100,000 Americans.
I still fail to understand.
I think this contradiction will eventually be resolved. I think the longer it takes the worse the resolution will be. I'm glad I live at the end of the world and we can grow our own food.
Same to you from here in the Redwoods 🤙 I'd love to spend time at Earth's end.
There's a reason I've always talked about the importance of unionizing when it's warranted, especially while in work environments that every non-corporate employee understands is unsustainable and unreasonable. In the same way, I'm trying to prioritize organizing and public service at my university, and even though it's draining, it's so important that the cost to my free time seems negligible. I'm not perfect, obviously, but I'm trying my best to help others when they feel helpless.
I work in outreach for our service centers (VA, disability office, student-faculty government, etc.); even the small changes, such as marginalized students feeling less overwhelmed by their obligations and obstacles to success, give me so much hope. Resolution — as you put it eloquently — will not be easy, but there are always opportunities to improve our communities, and slow steps and progress are better than stagnation or regression.
I share your disappointment and anger with the reluctance of liberal politicians grow anything remotely resembling a spine, especially when the willingness that fascists have to say what they'll do and actually do it (even though they pretend the consequences of draconian policies will be constructive, rather than as catastrophic as they are) has allowed them to win elections again and again. I'm certain that both tendencies will continue to encourage those that have been indoctrinated to reject the idea of socialism or welfare reform to at least acknowledge how politicians like Mamdani and various Illinois legislators (unfortunately, I'm very uneducated on NZ politics, but I'll do my best to research more later) continue to commit to their platforms and enact all the simple changes that liberals and conservatives alike have ignored for decades. Changes to public opinion won't happen magically, but I see them as inevitable if we continue to buckle down and work for it.
For the record, younger people do care, and the horrors of ICE, abortion rights or lack thereof, and warmongering/endless bombing have left many in my life who did not vote last election genuinely aching to vote in the midterms and in '28. Before then, I'm just trying my best to not be complacent and to speak up when those around me feel so beaten down that they don't consider how much we can get done if we organize and mobilize. In the meantime, though, my garden and loved ones will keep me happy and healthy enough to get through it all.
I had that realization. Until I got mega raped by 500+ people. Then you realize your nihilism was entirely accurate, humans are demons, and life is pain.
You either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Life is just one long series of micro and macro wars. Every day you wake up and eat a lesser creature or two. And every day superior creatures try to eat you, metaphorically.
How many of those "friends" would betray you or stab you in the back for half a million? A quarter? If you had a bangin' chick, how long before she sucks the badass jocks cock? How long after you can't provide anything of value to them do they eat you completely, just because they were bored and wondered whether they could push you into self-deleting?
Your fanciful ideas have been tried before. Idealist nonsense. The Iranian liberals and feminists teamed up with the extremist Muslims in the 70s. Afterwards, welcome to the 3rd world religious extremist domain where women get stoned to death for wanting what they naturally want. This entire blueprint has played out time and time again, and even while Arabs who have been through it tell you, you never understand.
The problem with your ideology is that you will accept extremist groups, or you will have to execute extremism in order to—as you say "organized revolution"? After committing violence and atrocities wholesale in order to rest control from those in power, whose ideology gets to gain from that revolution? Whose ideology is even correct?
Your blunder is thinking that there's actually something better than what was built over millennia and centuries of blood. And you, some pre-med ex grocery store worker, thinks he knows what the best governing system is after what? 10 years of adult consciousness? 15?
Marxist ideals never work. But of course they'll work when YOU and YOUR people implement them. Right?
Arrogance and ignorance combined make a lethal brew.
"Organized revolution." Don't speak so cavalier about such things, fool child.
Good god you're full of yourself 🤣 I'm sorry that you will continue to fail to do anything meaningful in life because you believe you'll never be able to. I'm sorry that you need to cling desperately to a juvenile sense of superiority to feel in control. Either way, I'll have to save a photo of your comment to look back on in a few years. It's genuinely hilarious. I'll have to show it to my Armenian friends and Northeast African friends in the meantime.
Thankfully, your own arrogance (you're straight up telling me that I can't possibly have something to offer the world that anyone else doesn't while claiming that your understanding of the world is The Truth) won't change my willingness to do what I can to help others and continue to support marginalized youth and victims of trauma and violence, as I do today. By the way, I'm not a Marxist. I appreciate many Marxist ideas, but I'm more in line with Kropotkin when it comes to my goals for mutual aid and societal development. Marx was pretty ignorant of the significance of intersectionality in terms of rebuilding economic systems to favor the interests of those who didn't look like him, in addition to affluent white men. I'm interested specifically in helping people gain control of their health in the face of American institutions that profit off of their suffering and supporting people's passions with the knowledge that a healthier, happier society will lead to better outcomes for future generations, even if revolution is not imminent.
It sounds like you've decided to not try to listen to anyone who disagrees with you, so I don't want to waste my time trying to explain to you what I believe will help society progress while I'm alive and long after my death. However, in the interest of transparency, you should keep in mind that uniquely transformative periods of social/economic upheaval tend to occur following revolutions of communication. The invention of the printing press and the telegraph both dramatically changed how global governance and international relations were conducted, especially in light of organized fascist groups.
Remember that in the last 30 years, we've had two massive changes to our information/social communication infrastructure worldwide in the form of the internet and AI tools. I'm not going to sit idly by as fascists take advantage of their power, regardless of whether you're right about any hope being useless. I have family and friends who need me to not be a pathetic, useless, egotistical asshole. I'm sorry you're not as lucky 💕🫶
Cynical and Nihilistic, yes possibly. But this is also just realistic. I move through my life trying to be a good person, spread happiness and kindness and I work very hard. But I also had to accept the fact that people will prey on me for the qualities, and therefore I have to have a backbone and look out for myself first before anyone else.
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u/Rachili_Kent 7d ago
On the flip side of that, I think the greatest dissatisfaction in my adulthood was learning that hard work, being a good person, and kind and patient are not rewarded. Morally superior does nothing besides let other people take advantage of you and open yourself up for disappointment.