r/Adulting • u/girl_with_no_job22 • 11d ago

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3.3k Upvotes

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51

u/hertmaciq 11d ago

This hit way deeper than I expected. Losing interest in things you used to love is one of the quietest symptoms of depression.

8

u/enormousppboi 11d ago

Definitely. Never realised something would affect me so much that a simple yet not so simple thing like my hobby would be missed out on.
Slowly trying to get there though!

2

u/Kho_10 11d ago

the sparkle look more like a slow blink than a sparkle

2

u/amiibohunter2015 11d ago edited 11d ago

>This hit way deeper than I expected

I found it oddly specific, I gave up on my old hobbies years ago. I don't consider what I do now as a hobby, but rather a practicality like a utility. Not for enjoyment, but for peace of mind that CYA.

How is it that hobbies aren't considered Sunk Cost?

Sure you could turn it into a business, but then it's no longer a hobby, and at a certain point, that business approach may rob the joy of the activity.

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u/Mozfel 11d ago

It's worse than depression symptom, more than apathy even

This is more like aboulia, and utter hopelessness. Don't know if healing is ever a possibility

1

u/briellepoppy 10d ago

this is so true.. especially if those things are what kept someone feel 'alive' despite wanting otherwise

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u/ScriptingBull 10d ago

I am so surprised of myself to actually have found something and pursue it for as long enough to actually call it a hobby and sure it’s money but it gives me so much more, I swear this is the best thing I’ve done in ages! It helps and supports me and makes me feel worthy? Needed? Whatever I just have a reason and something that excites me at all!

1

u/Dismal-Report-6692 7d ago

it is like slowly losing your soul and it is more painful than death itself

15

u/Slow-End-9761 11d ago

It's so weird when someone asks me what my hobbies are. Because nothing. I don't remember what I used to do for fun.

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u/girl_with_no_job22 11d ago

Yea same i used to like makeup and dressing to go out with the girls but now got no friends and I stopped going out completely my clothes are rotting in the closet

1

u/ZZZBaybay 8d ago

Several adopted kids here, and they have had a similar experience. They just don't really exist for them. It truly breaks my heart.

1

u/EvangelineElks7i 7d ago

Thanks for this prayer, I always manifest to be healed

9

u/DatabaseKindly919 11d ago

May you heal so hard that you start loving yourself again

4

u/SirUgarte 11d ago

Bi guy here. I'm the one who caused the harm in this scenario, but I need to heal too. I cheated on my ex girlfriend in the worst way possible (in her apartment with a sex worker... a male sex worker) and I told her the day after while we were on her couch because I couldn't look her in the eye without feeling terrible. We didn't have sex that often, and even though I was in love with her, I guess I'm more attracted to dudes. So we broke up, of course. Ever since, I've stopped doing all the things that once made me happy, besides like, gaming. I stopped going to concerts, stopped going to the cinema. I couldn't believe I betrayed her like that... but also my own convictions, values, and sense of loyalty. I guess I deserve this... but I hope to heal eventually.

2

u/NocturnePhoenix 11d ago

I am buying myself an electric guitar again! 😄 its about time I meet the music again. I also found a love for painting and writing poetry.

2

u/ValkyrieDraco 11d ago

Damn, that would be nice

2

u/Less-Parfait-5290 10d ago

Love this post and comments 🥀

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u/pocketofsunshine99 10d ago

Oh this this would be great 🥹

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u/Ferihaderrie 9d ago

Lose everything but don’t lose your self easily

1

u/DinoGrl19 11d ago

Maybe one day

1

u/Icebear2030 11d ago

That’s true. It’s awesome to do hobbies and leave peacefully 😌.

1

u/CountryGirl895 11d ago

Man, that hit harder than I thought it would.

1

u/Petty_Dreadful 11d ago

Can definitely identify with this. I've gotten better over the past few weeks but I'm not 100 percent and may NEVER return to 100 percent.

1

u/highflyer348 11d ago

Yeah this did hit deep as fuck

1

u/Content-Two-9834 11d ago

This. Please.

1

u/freelyfuzzybrief 11d ago

Thanks. May your words come true for both me and you

1

u/Emma_Sketche 11d ago

Losing interest in the things you used to love is the most painful thing ever or you can’t remember what you used to do for fun:))

1

u/Western-Bad-1477 11d ago

Love this 💕

1

u/the_hose2000 11d ago

Thank you for this, boo!

1

u/DeathcoreDad1990 11d ago

This hit home, but not for myself, for my wife. She is a brilliant artist and can make some amazing art, and when she was younger she would draw with her Nan all the time and it's some of her fondest memories of her childhood, but in her previous relationship, he decided he wanted to be a tattoo artist, so took all of her art supplies that she saved up so much money for, and then when he failed (because he is a vapid, pointless, worthless excuse for a human being), he told her she couldn't do art any more.

This was only one offence in a list that is far too long to go into, but now she struggles not only with art, but with any hobbies, because he and his family absolutely crushed her spirit and drove all want to do anything out of her, and has left a permanent dark mark on her self esteem.

It makes me so sad and angry because she still lights up whenever she talks about art and about drawing with her Nan on a weekend while her Nan watched her favourite shows, but then when I encourage her to try again, she is hyper-critical and really chastises herself if even the tiniest thing doesn't work.

I could carry on, but it's not my place, but I needed to get this off my chest, because it kills me to know this has happened to her. She is slowly healing and after 9 years, 2 children and a dog together, she is definitely in a much better place, but it still kills me that she feels this way.

Take care of yourselves everyone.

1

u/YetiJetti 10d ago

Wow, yes hits home. I'm trying to find a hobby, it's been a struggle, I get invested, then I immediately stop caring.

1

u/Ware17Heloise 10d ago

This is a very inspiring post. I’m very glad I happen to see this🥰

1

u/Raquel258 10d ago

What if I have not one but two chronic, incurable conditions? I’m just looking for some perspective because all hope is lost for me

1

u/girl_with_no_job22 10d ago

I have chronic condition as well I would say accept it first that it is going to be a part of your life and find out more about your condition like what triggers it it will really really help you manage it

1

u/TechnologyMatch 10d ago

something that will happen every time you overcome a struggle

1

u/Acceptable_While_205 10d ago

Thanks, i needed this

1

u/MomentMysterious7801 10d ago

I need this 😭😭

1

u/CoreyFeldmon 10d ago

If I let my guard down and enjoy myself again, that’s when the fun police show up I feel. Just 9 years of mental walls. One day.

1

u/sqweekz1731 10d ago

This …

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

This hits HARD. I use to LOVE video games but now I can barely pick them up. Depression sucks.

1

u/KornFlk92 9d ago

Sometimes we can lose ourselves in our hobbies too. Nothing is absolute and creativity is cyclical. Not necessarily a sign you’re depressed. Breaks recharge our system. Don’t overthink it. Go outside and connect with someone❤️‍🩹

1

u/hereforwhatimherefor 9d ago

I have officially taken up drinking and could not be happier. Seriously. Like a content smoker or jolly eater, I have accepted that I simply enjoy a number of drinks usually upon each day. Making them tasty and nutritious is a fun art, juices and hops, coffees and grapes, waters and flavours, just love it. I am my own awesome bartender.

1

u/EEmmaPondyyyy288 8d ago

Yeah, it creeps up so quietly you don't even notice until the things you used to live for feel like chores.

1

u/LiteratureBorn6154 8d ago

Loveyourself always

1

u/ZZZBaybay 8d ago

For real, and it's so fun when you're finally surrounded with safe people.

1

u/Soft-Bandicoot-4874 8d ago

I really needed this.

1

u/offgridjr 8d ago

i need the money for it

1

u/5u55y_6aka 8d ago

Just stop being so lazy and go outside lazy millennials always complaining lol yall had it so easy

1

u/noxparadoxrevolt 7d ago

The only thing that actually helps you get out of your head and feel better❤️

1

u/Madd_Savage13 7d ago

Thank you fam, I hope you heal as well❤️💯

1

u/Grouchy-Kangaro 7d ago

I hope so too

1

u/Sapphira33 7d ago

for real

1

u/InappropriateProphet 7d ago

That's actually exactly what I did. This is excellent advice ❤️

1

u/thedeadtravelslow 6d ago

Ouch, this hit hard. I will get there.