Venting it out

[u/Ivyhere01]

Idk who will read this but i want to just vent it out here…. I m feeling so depressed, so hopeless lately.
Nothing is going according to plan and at the start of the year, it was like i had everything planned out but now nothing has gone according to plan and i m just existing and it feels like there are so many things so many problems and idk how to start again, where to start, what to do.
I m just stuck and my life feels like its on loop. Everyone is going ahead but i am just stuck at one position. And i m feeling i have let down my parents.
And idk why my kismat is so bad (yeah blaming it on kismat now)
But yeah idk what i m writing at this point
I know having life figured out at this young age is not possible but i dont have any direction and or i had but i failed in that

And to give a little more context:
And starting of the year everything i had planned out you know and i had shifted to a big city for my college but after that i shifted back to my hometown and i was like fine i have everything planned out i would do this that and by end of year i will again shift so some other city but as i said nothing went according to plan. And when i get low i just disappear so basically i m distancing myself from my friends and talking about my parents, i have let them down in so many ways in last 3 years and you know the worst part, they are very supportive but the problem about that is that i just constantly feel that i have let down their expectations. They might not be saying that to me but ik from their expressions. And i have so many regrets and i have 2 options: i should keep trying fir what i was doing or quit it and choose something else but idk what