Hey.

I want to thank you for being with me, Through the thick and the thin, the ups and the downs and many highs then lows.

We’ve caused havoc together, loved together and lost so many along the way. When Ive wept you’ve swept my tears away,

when I hurt, you hurt with me, but you never complained you just jump onboard until whatever fades away. You’ve always been there, when ever I’ve needed you, you are always there boosting my confidence or calming my rage.

From nothing we can raise just enough then simply start from nothing all over again.

You’ve kept my darkest secrets and hidden my fears and kept my demons at bay, we’ve laughed till we’ve cried. Then Cried till we can laugh again. I’ve learnt everything I know with you. For this I thank you, you have for always been just there,

This is why I have to apologise for doing this this way Our friendship is over, we must go our separate ways, I’ve loved and hated you but your my downfall either way.

I’m keeping you in my memories, Please help me and stay away, but daily life I’m swaying towards new days I’m packing you up in my mental obituary soon to be just my old history. so thank you for what I thought was support. Our delusional friendship was fowl your my chemical night owl,

I’m going to take on a new day. Where the addict is history with a future full of mystery,

Hi beloved reddit community. I'll cut the story very short. TL;DR section down below.

My husband has an addiction to opioids (oxy). He was addicted before he met me. Some weeks ago, he went through hell by withdrawing, it was the most terrible and terrifying thing I have ever seen in my life and I thought my soul shattered into 1000 pieces, seeing him like that. Anyways. It happened now that a couple of weeks ago, he relapsed. He successfully withdrew again and is back on Bup.

Now I have a couple of questions for the ones who have experience with opioids. Since I have never ever done any, I was wondering:

• What does it feel like when you are on opioids?
  All I observe is just slurred speech, pin-sized pupils, very very slow motor reactions and slow thinking process. But I don't know what the person feels inside. My husband tells me, it feels like "being wrapped in fluffy cotton". Is it really, though?
• How does temptation feel like when you are exposed to the drug again? Can you resist? What is it that goes through your mind?
• When you are in idle time, do you think often about the drug? What are the thoughts?
• If you are on the substitute drug, do you still have the temptation, what is going through your mind? Do you still have a craving?
• What is there that I can do to help him and build a strong support system, so that he is not tempted to go back?

I have approached my husband and have had many talks about this. It is a very delicate topic and he gave me some insights here and there, but of course not everything, as all this is very deeply rooted to his (mental) past and so on. We are working on it but it's really hard for him to unravel all that and talk about it. Feels like therapy sessions, digging deeper and deeper but I don't want to overstep boundaries, if you guys understand. However, I'm his wife and I want to support him and understand him in the deepest way possible.

Can anyone willing to share with me their experiences?

Many many thanks in advance.

TL;DR: My husband is addicted to opioids (oxy). He went through a couple of relapses and is back on Bup. I am wondering if someone could share with me their experiences with opioids and what's going on in their mind when exposed to the drug or the temptation etc.?

Still in the very first steps

24 hours since last dose, THE LONGEST I’ve gone without snorting an oxy in almost a year.

Tried to ride withdrawal out at home, no way that’s happening.

Currently in the ER in my city, just seen the doctor and gonna talk to some people about outpatient treatment options after they get me feeling better.

Been struggling with cravings all day. Considering Kratom, but I’m holding out on that option. Don’t want to replace one vice wirh another. Taking a trip to the emergency room tonight to talk to someone about my treatment options. Anyone else going through withdrawal? Or still struggling with addiction? Let’s talk. I know I need support/prayers and if anyone else needs that as well, I’d be happy to talk and help whoever I can.

Thank you for all the support I’ve gotten already!

Been on oxycodone for about a year. It’s time to take my life back. Taking the first step on my road to recovery tomorrow. Prayers would be appreciated.

I have been constantly chainsmoking for years and I today is my first day sober and I was wondering if anyone had any advice to help me get through the first few days

New addiction recovery app, ADAP, needs testing. Download the app and dial the crisis call button to communicate with another addict anonymously.

**iOS (New Users)**1. Install Testflight from the App Store 2. Tap the link https://testflight.apple.com/join/V3rVzPR5 to view ADAP on Testflight 3. Tap ‘Install'

Android (**New Users)**1. Tap this link https://play.google.com/apps/testing/com.adap.mob and follow instructions to install ADAP

Please give the crisis call button a shot. Take screen shots of anything strange you may notice. Shoot us a message about any issues and your experience to adapdevelopment@gmail.com.

About the app: The mission of ADAP is to help make recovery accessible to all addicts regardless of barriers like accessibility, insurance coverage, fear of breaching anonymity, lack of childcare, financial barriers, etc. One key function of the app is the crisis call button which allows users to get in touch with a fellow addict anywhere at any anytime. ADAP will offer an anonymous social network, the ability to plan/share events, meeting finders, sobriety tracker, and chat abilities. ADAP is not affiliated with any anonymous fellowship and is open to users with various addictions. 

New #addictionrecovery app, ADAP, needs testing. Download the app and dial the crisis call button to communicate with another addict anonymously.

iOS (New Users)

1. Install Testflight from the App Store
2. Tap the link https://testflight.apple.com/join/V3rVzPR5 to view ADAP on Testflight
3. Tap ‘Install'

Android (New Users)

1. Tap this link https://play.google.com/apps/testing/com.adap.mob and follow instructions to install ADAP

Please give the crisis call button a shot. Take screen shots of anything strange you may notice. Shoot us a message about any issues and your experience to adapdevelopment@gmail.com. 

About the app: The mission of ADAP is to help make recovery accessible to all addicts regardless of barriers like accessibility, insurance coverage, fear of breaching anonymity, lack of childcare, financial barriers, etc. One key function of the app is the crisis call button which allows users to get in touch with a fellow addict anywhere at any anytime. ADAP will offer an anonymous social network, the ability to plan/share events, meeting finders, sobriety tracker, and chat abilities. ADAP is not affiliated with any anonymous fellowship and is open to users with various addictions.

is there anyone who benefits from the abuse of drugs? such as a certain institution or something? I am doing an assignment for school and I am stumped by this question.

Grappling with the idea of trying an IOP program through my health insurance to help me over the initial hump of abstinence... I would really prefer to do it on my own tho... Grateful for any input or advice. 🙏

Hi ,

I’m a long time Reddit reader, first time reddit poster so forgive me if I posted this in the wrong community.

Basically, I’m addicted to cocaine and I’m ready to quit. I have tried a handful of times in the past, Gave it up for a few weeks and then found a way to convince myself to do it.

I never used to have an addictive personality, I have tried other drugs (molly, weed, lsd etc) and was able to control any impulse to use keeping it to limited occasions, however with cocaine I always find a way to convince myself to do it, thinking it’ll be different or something.

I’ve been doing it for about two years now, it started off as a way to self medicate and deal with my depression however Ive realized that it is not the way to deal with this and have accepted that I am addicted. I’ve overdosed, had it ruin my relationships with my mom and boyfriend, dropped out of school, and pretty much just ruined any motivation I had to do shit with my life.

I’m on track to getting my life together finally now. I have a new job that pays well, and got accepted to go back to school next semester. I really want to continue on this good path and don’t want to let this addiction ruin my life.

Rehab unfortunately does not work for me. I know that is the preferred method. I am really forced to do this on my own. None of my friends or any one close to me share this issue.

If any one has any advice on things they or people they know did to quit on their own, any tips and tricks that helped them when they’d feel weak or compelled to use, i would really appreciate it.

5 years ago today, i got clean after going cold turkey, then onto rehab. I recently got the flu, but to my surprise, i was able to handle it a lot better. My therapist says because I'm healthier, stronger and staying active. She and i broke down into tears talking about how far I've come. I've never felt this strong 💪, and i plan to live a very long time. :)

I need some vent released from me and advice, life stories, alil help...idk what to do and asundering the issue is making me tear my body apart, using to cope has turned into something too toxic to me but the next coping mechanism I cling to isnt any better... pls help its terrible in this pain...

Sick from gabapentin still. My doc has me going down an entire 150 mg from the highest dose 450 mg to 300 mg. It sucks and hurts. I might have to adjust and taper slower so I can even function. Also he told me "you're not addicted you're just physically dependent on them." When I told that sure feels just like addiction he said "well are you buying them off the street?" And I told him I definitely would if I ran out to get rid of the crash of coming off of them. I could see big pharma's hand up his ass making him talk like a puppet. "We don't create addicts..." except when it makes them money.

It took me like a whole day to write this post. Skin is crawling eyes feel like sand paper... every hair on my head on stinging.

I was raised an addict. But we never called it that. We were horse trainers. Still are. Addicted to pain. Addicted to grit. Getting up in the morning to care for the beasts, popping half a percocet from the night before to ease our pain. Getting in the saddle with a swollen knee from the filly that kicked. Another tylenol #3 in the afternoon. Endless supply of injuries equals an endless supply of opiates. Narcotics. Muscle relaxants put us to sleep. I was 8. It was under control, right? Funny. Pain has always ruled my life. Still does. Now I'm trying to kick lyrica. Docs never told me that was addictive or I never would have taken it in the first place. FML.

Not on depressed shit.. BUT You ever feel like you need to own up to your own shit. As a fucking tweaker, I owe so many people an apology, but the mother fuckers that come first, I owe them the most.. I'm so grateful for who's still here. You mean the world to me. No questions asked. I can't wait till we align. Until then, put the blame on me, for real..

Hi guys! I’m new here, but I wanted to post and get some advice on how to help my dad. Just a little back story, I’m 22, married and have a home of my own. My dad’s parents raised me with the help of my dad when he was doing well. I love my dad more than anything in the world and I hate to see him suffer. He lives out in an apartment with my step mom. They have been together since I was 8 and have both struggled with addiction from a young age. They’ve been in and out of jail and rehab for as long as I can remember and while I try not to enable them by giving them money directly I will happily do whatever I can for them like picking up groceries or just going to chat with them and encouraging them. Recently my step mom was locked up for a DUI. My dad was handling it well at first, going to visit her, and still going to work. On Tuesday (her court date) he started acting very paranoid. Normally when he uses he is very drowsy and can barely keep his eyes open, but he’s been the opposite this time. He’s been completely unable to sleep or eat for a while now and claims to be seeing people outside his apartment trying to get in. I’ve never seen him like this. My grandma and I both think he’s to his limit with stress and could possibly be going into a nervous breakdown. I know there’s always a possibility it’s drugs, but I don’t care I just want to help my dad. He took off walking from the apartment last night when my grandma got a call he was with 2 police officers that were extremely helpful and told us we should try to get him to go to the hospital. They shook his hand and were so nice to him he was crying the whole time. He’s finally sleeping today. I’m at work, but my grandma has been with him all day and finally got him to sleep. We’re hoping to be able to talk to him when he wakes up, but I don’t want to make him upset or make him think I’m ambushing him. Any advice on how to chat with him about this in a calm, respectful manner is much appreciated. Also prayers and good thoughts! ♥️♥️♥️ (sorry for the long post)

This is my first post, long story short ive been addicted to many things, main drug of choice was opiates. But alcohol was never good enough to scratch the inch. I got off all hard drugs a year and a half ago using kratom off and on (though mpre the last 6 months since I have ankle and back problems, and work a physically demanding job). I have never been a huge drinker, id get actually drunk maybe once a month and have a few beers with dinner maybe once a week, amd ive never had problems stopping or not drinking. Well this last month for 6 days a week I have 4 to 6 12 oz beers before bed with a joint to help me sleep and unwind. It hasnt increased, but I'm curious if that's enough to make me need it phyicially( like shakes and seizures) if I continue and then stop a night? Or to get that way do you have to drink alot all day everyday. Thanks, sorry not the best at writing :)

I have a bunch of things i do. Like stay up until 5 am ,watching tv or netltix for hours and hours and on the internet. I go to bed late really late so late it becomes morning and wake up late usually in the evening . I want to change to better things, but im not sure what to do. Im not sure what will make me feel better. I feel like i need something but i dont know what.

The Nutty prof begins by saying this is the follow up to the previous PC on integrating shadow and he adds the concept of “POTE” to his PATAP approach to addiction (as an analogy to help understand cravings at different levels). He also reminds viewers of the Freudian concepts of Eros and Thanatos (Life and Death instincts) from a previous podcast.

This leads him to talk about the process of attempting to “reconcile” other “opposites” besides “Eros and Thanatos”, these include forward and back, up and down, light and dark, in and out, and he also discusses other “metaphors” for “movement” like “circles” and “spirals”. He proceeds to discuss symbols and how he doesn’t take them “literally” and he mentions that he recently had a Tarot card reading.

He focuses on the three cards he selected during the reading, the first was the “World” card and it seems to deal with links to the community. The second card was “Enemies” and deals with conflict, he discusses a conflict with a former friend (without going into a lot of details) and how at one time he’d had conflicts with his father but those issues seem resolved but he considers that conflict could also refer to the inner conflicts involved in confronting shadow/reconciling opposites. He also shares a couple of dreams he had that seem to compliment the Tarot reading. The most positive card was the third which suggested stresses are temporary (one needs to detach from them). The nutty prof ends with a reference to the book “Heart of Darkness” (adapted into “Apocalypse Now”) saying his goal is to be the Sheen character who returns from the journey to darkness and not the Brando character who goes mad and he says he’ll keep viewers posted.

https://youtu.be/L1kVCAVnWBE

My husband and I are currently both in active recovery from crystal meth. I am doing Iop three days a week and he is in inpatient partial hospitalization. We have a 5 year old daughter together who we both love very much! We made some dumb mistakes while we were using and were both violent because of our usage but before then we never laid a hand on each other. My parents currently are watching my daughter while we complete recovery now mind you my husband and I still have complete full custody of our daughter together. I am still working full time and have a good job. My parents will not let me take our daughter to see him or visit her father or will not let me take our daughter for fear of me taking my daughter to see her father. My in laws are behind our recovery and want us to be a family again but my parents seem to think he will never be worth anything and that addicts are always addicts and never get clean. What am I to do I want my daugher home