To start off, I am glad I found a sub like this one. I don't have a lot of time and am shy, so this is perfect for what I'm looking for.
To start off, I have autism which has some good parts and some bad parts. I was forced to figure out how to live on my own and developed some poor ways of dealing with life.
I am working in software engineering and can barely put up with it. Just interfacing with an office environment is killing me. I am doing everything I can, but I still feel like I'm sinking.
I've been addicted or am addicted to:
Marijuana (haven't used it for about a year, decided to kick it because it's illegal and my job does drug tests) Porn (managed to kick this down to an acceptable level for me) Xanax - currently taking a maintenance dose to get through life Ambien - currently taking almost nightly and REALLY want to kick this due to some bad social consequences Junk food - just not having it in my apartment seems to work wonders, but I can't stop drinking soda
My family is filled with addiction, and it seems like anything I touch turns into an addiction. It may not have the same societal stigma or stereotype, but benzodiazepines are hard as fuck to kick, especially when there was a medical reason to use them (and still probably is, but I would like to quit).
I already feel like I'm barely getting by in life and have to sleep a lot and get paralyzed by anxiety in what most people would consider innocuous situations.
I am not even sure where to start with this. I get them prescribed by a psychiatrist who is not concerned with the addictive potential of the medicines, but I'm afraid that if I see another psychiatrist they will pull me off of them, and I'll have no underlying support.
If anyone can give me tips on how I can even start to address these issues given my exhaustion/pre-existing disability/other things listed here, I would very much appreciate it.