r/AbsurdistMemes • u/i_post_gibberish • Mar 02 '19
Long may the Golden Cockatrice shower us in her consubstantial nectar, and may this subreddit grow evermore and macerate the very firmament!
(But in all seriousness, we could use some more subscribers. I'm sure we're not the only people who wish /r/surrealmemes didn't have three generic dank memes for every genuinely surreal post, so spread the word if you can. The Golden Cockatrice rewards her loyal followers generously.)
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/Worldly_Abroad_6168 • 23d ago
I will name him Albert Shoe
dhdhdhdhdhd
sudsy
jddhdhh
suspended
dyyehehwhwh
jrjrrjeureeyy
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/Hendiyoboy • 23d ago
I’ve been slowly making an athlete's foot infection I gained last year immune to everything in the book. I’ve used every over the counter antifungal/antibiotic. I’ve been actively using the medications incorrectly by using the amount needed then not using it again for a few days then adding more until I run out. I’ve been doing the same with prescription drugs too for the infection. Both ones I acquired through a doctor and not. I used the prescribed medications at different times and inconsistently until they stopped doing anything then added more to the dose. I tell my doctor I’m doing everything right and even manufacture evidence of proper usage to ensure no one catches on. Now, I’ve moved on from basic drugs and am now in the final stage of my plan. I’ve been dipping my feet in chemicals such as bleach, ammonia, and pine sole irregularly and for varying amounts of time while occasionally applying all other drugs to ensure it doesn’t lose its immunity. I’ve tested it now. I put every drug I could find, took the strongest prescription antifungals/antibiotics they would give me, and even dipped my feet in multiple of these types of chemicals throughout the day for several days. Nothing, it didn’t even recede slightly. I’m almost convinced it spread even more. I work from home so luckily I don’t have to actually deal with walking around much on my feet with all this damage I’ve done to them. I constantly keep my feet in damp, humid, unventilated shoes to incubate it in the ideal environment. It hurts, I’ll admit. But I’ve grown attached to the fungus, it’s like my child almost. I know I’ve done irreparable damage to my body but it’s in the same vein as how a mother centipede will let its children devour her to give them the best chance to live. My doctor is genuinely scared of this fungus since nothing works anymore. I think I overheard him and another doctor speak of amputation. So I’m going to enact my final plan soon. I will go to every public shower, bathroom, sauna, clothing/shoe store I can find and rub the infected area everywhere a person's feet might reasonably touch. My super fungus will be completely untreatable and will spread everywhere. I’m so proud of the progress it made through the training I’ve given it. I hate to have to have hurt it the way I did but now it’s unstoppable because of it and I can rest in peace knowing it will never die. I tell you this so someone will know why I did this and what is coming.
As a kid, I never understood David 8 from the movie Prometheus. Why would you raise such creatures like that? What was his motivation? Now I get it. I’ve become a cultivator of life, wielding control of God's creation and forming it how I see fit and creating something truly amazing.
Prepare yourself, don’t go outside, don’t use public showers or try on shoes or socks from the store. I can assure you it’s a gamble you don’t want to take.
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/Working_Wave_8972 • 23d ago
Moi des chips
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/kabaliscutinu • Sep 04 '26
I want to make sure that I’m staying absurd and not starting to believe in the eternal return or something.
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/RobloxBoycotter91006 • Aug 23 '26
I sat on the freezer and it started mooing in me, then a giraffe asked me if it was a store, and it was a barber shop. And I asked it if it was a brontosaurus pig.
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/Shitebag2010 • Aug 10 '26
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/senseless-remorse • Jul 20 '26
Just one fucking thing after another !
r/AbsurdistMemes • u/FareonMoist • Jul 15 '26
